Cock Carousel meets The Wall...The musical

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2019-08-21T15:41:46+00:00

This is typically weekend content, but we could all use a little humor during the drudge of the work week. What better way then to watch a whimsical musical depiction of the fine line between freely riding the cock carousel and face planting in the wall.

Some of this is a jumbled mess, like most women's thoughts, so I have provided the lyrics for you to follow along:

[Oates]

Things unfold when they're supposed to

'Cause everything happens for a reason

It’ll happen for me when I'm not even looking

He'll just appear and I'll just know

And he'll love me forever without any work

Who needs to try when things are meant to be

[Garfunkel (Oates)]

There's nobody left!

(I'm a catch just look at me)

I'm all alone!

(I'm smart and hot and have lots of interests)

You're such an idiot!

(The man of my dreams is definitely out there)

You think you're so special because people tell you that now

(He's my future, he's the one)

But that'll stop and be replaced with looks of pity!

(He was put on this Earth to make my life complete)

(The world is a buffet of love)

[Garfunkel]

Oh, what? You think biological reality doesn't apply to you

In your adorable cocoon of agelessness? Well, it does!

And while you're just waiting around and focusing on you

Guess what? You're gonna miss your window!

[Oates (Garfunkel)]

Everything happens for a reason

You know I truly believe that

(Yeah, you said that before)

Oh my God, it does, though

Everything happens for a reason

(What about the Haitian earthquake

Or cellulite on skinny women?)

Just say, "Hey universe, I'm ready"

It'll happen when you least expect it

(Well, I don't expect it at all now

So I guess it's right around the corner)

Maybe you're putting out the wrong vibe

Maybe you're closed off to love

Let me tell you a secret, it's called The Secret

(Here's another secret, you're an asshole)

[Oates]

Your negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy

The reason things go well for me is 'cause of positivity

[Garfunkel]

Well, I'm positive fertility always begins to atrophy

When infantile fantasy eclipses true reality

[Oates]

It never once occurred to me that things won't work out perfectly

When God closes a door, you see, he opens a window

[Garfunkel]

You realize that’s a smaller opening, right?

You used to be able to just walk out a door

And now you have to climb out some slightly ajar window somewhere

Possibly falling like eight stories to your death

That is not an upgrade

And you know what else?

[Garfunkel (Oates)]

There's nobody left! (7 billion people on the planet)

I'm all alone! (My options will never ever run out)

I hate you! (I'm so happy, aren't you happy?)

You're so stupid! (I'm so happy)

[Oates]

You can't love someone else 'til you love yourself

You can't love someone else 'til you love yourself

You can't love someone else 'til you love yourself

You can't love someone else 'til you love yourself

'Cause life is good (Over)

lurkerhasarisen · 2019-08-21T15:56:12+00:00

I've loved this song since the first time I heard it a few years ago. The kicker? Riki Lindhome (the blonde one) is now 40 and still not married. Kate Micucci (the brunette, obviously) is 39 and married this guy last year.

LotBuilder · 2019-08-21T18:20:54+00:00

I went on a date yesterday with a 34 yo single mom with a special needs kid. Post wall from her prime but still in shape and attractive. She was brutally honest and realistic about her options and what she was looking for.

toolate4redpill · 2019-08-21T16:22:11+00:00

The song made me chuckle (headphone WARNING-the Blond girl really sells it), however the deadpan ending between 29 and 31 will make you fall off your chair.

youngandaspire · 2019-08-21T18:35:51+00:00

2019 update: neither have children, 29 got married last year at age 39.

Thetrvler · 2019-08-21T18:14:04+00:00

This should be required by law to show to all high school girls to show them the reality and stop falling for feminist bullshit. Only thing I’d change is the ages from 24 to 32.

2muchtequila · 2019-08-21T17:05:54+00:00

They're pretty awesome. You should check out their other songs.

Tracergold · 2019-08-21T17:15:54+00:00

Absolutely delicious and TRUE, here in Feminist America.

RedMeatTrinket · 2019-08-21T16:15:00+00:00

That's pretty funny.

eingebrannt · 2019-08-21T19:40:33+00:00

Riki Lindhome the blonde got her eggs frozen lmao

variedpageants · 2019-08-21T17:38:42+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/cjg3lp/additional_schadenfreude/

Lol

redismyfuture · 2019-08-21T18:12:58+00:00

It's the gooch!

tallwheel · 2019-08-22T05:51:41+00:00

This and "Fuck me in the ass cause i love Jesus" are classics.

GTFonMF · 2019-08-21T22:48:54+00:00

In case anyone is interested. The blonde one has done nudity. Just sayin’. In case anyone is interested.

cjs1298 · 2019-08-22T03:23:35+00:00

Reminds me of The Wall Show sketch from MDE World Peace: https://youtu.be/OV_EJomAwaY

RealMcGonzo · 2019-08-22T02:39:52+00:00

So which one is 29 and which one is 31? They really don't spell it out well enough.

pteawesome1 · 2019-08-21T18:11:42+00:00

1:39 - 1:42 If only more women heard that line.

TheMGTOWMan · 2019-08-21T19:23:27+00:00

The Wall song for all the cunts on the carousel

mtb1443 · 2019-08-22T22:58:00+00:00

Didn't these two women have guest appearances on Big Bang Theory?

devok1 · 2019-08-22T06:55:41+00:00

does 29 has down syndrome?

KingOfTheShitPosters · 2019-08-23T16:47:50+00:00

29? Try 19.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-08-21T22:29:55+00:00

29, is that guys tinder filter number? I'm old and married. It must be very noticeable for them from 29 - 30 in the number and age of their matches.

jackandjill22 · 2019-08-22T03:51:45+00:00

Lmao

Natuasi · 2019-08-22T17:46:56+00:00

Nice. As long as there are trade offs.

UltimaterializerX · 2019-08-21T21:56:09+00:00

Funniest part of this is the blonde one is way cuter.

Cock Carousel meets The Wall...The musical

Comments

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Title	Cock Carousel meets The Wall...The musical
Author	goodmansaysfuckyou
Upvotes	640
Comments	98
Date	August 21, 2019 3:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/ctidm4/cock_carousel_meets_the_wallthe_musical/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/cock-carousel-meets-the-wallthe-musical.344504 https://theredarchive.com/post/344504