The Wages of Selecting a Bad Man.

CoMaBlaCK · 2019-03-22T18:10:18+00:00

More so every woman could stand to use some self responsibility in every aspect of their lives but that’s a red pill none of them are willing to take, instead there’s a billion dollar industry of ‘its not your fault guuuuurl’

Westernhagen · 2019-03-22T18:30:35+00:00

A quick glance at her blog, and I immediately notice that Alyssa is eager to show us that she has nice tits.

https://archive.is/AyRa7

She checks practically every box for "basic bitch single mom"!

No More Games
Need A Man Not A Boy
My Child Always Comes First
I Have A Lot Of Baggage
You Must Deal With Me At My Worst

Disgruntledfamilyguy · 2019-03-22T21:23:42+00:00

My dipshit cousin went off the deep end after her father (my uncle) died. She had a kid when she was 16. When she was 21 she married the father, who, aside from being a dumbass, was a pretty decent guy with a blue collar job. She starts hanging out with her old HS friend who is now a stripper. She starts stripping on the weekends. She winds up carrying on with a Hispanic gang-banger (who she coincidentally invited to the wedding and fucked in the closet before the garter/flower thing). Gang-banger brings his gang banging friends to the house and get into it with the husband, who retrieves his firearm to warn them off. They leave, but my cousin calls the cops. Husband gets arrested for threatening her "friends."

Cousin divorces husband, gets custody of the kid, and moves in with gang-banger. Becomes drug addict and literally gets "banged" into the gang. She then disappears for about 10 years (luckily my aunt got custody of the kid). She will occasionally and randomly show up to family events bitching and moaning about how hard life is, how evil men are, and how its not fair she has to work 2 jobs just to pay rent. (I should mention she blew through a 75K trust fund settlement in two years and dropped out of college).

I pretty much refuse to speak with her, but just once would like to blurt out: YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF CUZ. You didn't just make 1 bad decision--you made a lifetime of bad decisions one right after another...starting with sneaking out of the house at night to have sex with your highschool boyfriend and rejecting your catholic upbringing. You could have stopped this trainwreck at one of 30 different junctions, but nope, you just kept making it worse and worse and worse! Your made a lifetime of shitty choices despite being brought up right, having a loving family, money, the chance to go to college---and you threw it all away to strip, do drugs, and fuck gangsters! NO. FUCKING. SYMPATHY.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-03-22T18:47:46+00:00

Women like Bad Boys. Let them live with their fine choices.

Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits · 2019-03-22T19:42:56+00:00

The point of feminism is to give women all of the power but men all of the responsibility.

mr_kuk · 2019-03-22T20:26:38+00:00

It’s the bad days.

It's the cleavage.

It’s the fear.

It's the cleavage.

It’s anger and feeling ashamed.

It's the cleavage. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT FUCKING LOOK AT THE FUCKING CLEAVAGE!

0kool74 · 2019-03-22T21:05:12+00:00

I have no sympathy whatsoever for women who are victims of domestic violence......never have, never will. And it's for EXACTLY the end part of your post......

She

Chose

This

There are SCORES of men out there who are NOT like this. But, as we ALL KNOW, those aren't the men that give her the gina tingles. Those aren't the men that make her panties wet. But you know what.......and fuck this god damn fucking cunt......they sure are fit to be the emotional tampons after she's gotten a black eye or a punch to the jaw. They sure are the ones that she can talk to even though she'd never be interested in them. They sure are the ones she's always saying "I wish I could find a guy like you."

Yeah FUCK all that noise. if a woman is getting popped to the face then she deserves it because she CHOSE it!

Emervila · 2019-03-22T18:26:33+00:00

"you're not a victim, you're a survivor" (of your own stupidity)

Blackfysh88 · 2019-03-22T20:53:08+00:00

They’ll never learn responsibility till they stop being bailed out and that won’t stop so long as the government is still what it is. Sigh.

weebkilla · 2019-03-23T05:22:33+00:00

Something about abusive relationships that I heard from Dr. Laura a long time ago that completely changed the way I view them: there are two parties involved in the dance. A ballet of perfectly synchronized movements from both players.

Having grown up in a fish tank where the message from our brainwashers in the media was that abusive relationships are all because of the horrible, no-good man abusing some saintly angel of a woman... this was like a total slap in the face. To hear from some person, a woman at that!, who deals with relationship nonsense by the thousands in her career? Saying such things, wow. That a good man doesn't just go from Mr. Nice Fellow to punching you in the face? That the 'innocent victim' woman actually chooses this type of man, this type of treatment, and willfully chooses to ignore the bad things until they (literally) hit her upside the head? It was like a breath of fresh air to get a glimpse at The Truth behind psychology of interpersonal relations.

I was never a dumb kid. But the truth is, when you are assailed by these bullshit messages by the supposed authority figures of your world (not just about women-men but plenty of other subjects), you can't help but have your thinking warped. You know, deep down inside, that bothersome feeling that something just isn't right... but until you get the opportunity to have somebody (with a bit of authority) tell it to you straight it's not easy to figure out exactly what is wrong. The Truth is like a shining light when you find it and you can't imagine how you ever lived without it.

NickTesla2018 · 2019-03-22T21:03:11+00:00

They will never take responsibility for their poor choices in men. Only after getting the shit beat out of them, then it's time for a nice guy. No thanks.

mimblezimble · 2019-03-23T00:39:00+00:00

With all respect ultimately based on the fear for reprisals, I do not believe in a misnomer such as domestic violence. Challenge the authority of a cop, and he will pull the tazer, a stick, or even a gun. Challenge the authority of the head of the family, and he is also supposed to do what it takes. I personally do not hesitate to duly stamp out any lack of respect in any way necessary. But then again, I don't live in a western country either. I don't understand how any man can actually live there. In the past, at the instigation of western NGOs, there have been attempts to get the cops to interfere in domestic violence here as well. The newspapers were full of stories with dead bodies. A man who loses face here in SE Asia, will simply start killing. I personally like it that way. There is still a concept like honour. If the government dares to challenge that, as far as I am concerned, may the severed arms and legs start flying around in the air. I do not want to live in a place where men generally accept to be dishonoured. I would not be able to stand it.

AncapGhxst · 2019-03-22T21:31:52+00:00

This is a great PSA for other women who want to choose bad guys to make kids with.

Omnibrad · 2019-03-22T18:01:27+00:00

Domestic violence is a problem, no doubt about that. Most physical domestic violence is perpetrated by men, well-known too. But:

If the concept of domestic violence is extended, as many jurisdictions' laws do, women are equally guilty. Many feminists admit that, those ones that are femists masked as feminists won't. Emotional abuse, financial abuse (e.g. spending too much and forcing and your partner to work extra). I have faith that by Century XXII these things are codified into law everywhere and women will be as afraid of breaking the law as we are today. Most friends of mine have wives that do things which could easily be classifiable as abuse. To be frank, all relationships have overtones of abuse... The trick is to keep it under control.
OTOH some jurisdictions passed bad laws, e.g. Brazil where Maria da Penha law enumerates 293804 types of domestic violence while defining they only can be perpetrated by men. Didn't work so well in practice - in the very next week after law went into force, a judge put a wife out of house because she broke the husband's computer, hindering his means of survival (he worked at home). In general, judges accept the analogy thesis and admit easily the law is biased, but you end up depending on the judge.
These monologues about masculine violence try to push collective responsibility and guilt. All a man can do about male domestic violence is not to beat women. Beyond that, it is a police problem. Pushing collective guilt, by saying e.g. that other men are lenient, is the trademark of sanguinary dictatorships.

frikabg · 2019-03-22T23:56:11+00:00

To be honest I am not even certain that she could have a better happy life if she made different choices. Honestly men like me are damaged irreparably at this point I don't see a scenario in which I can trust even a good woman at this point. After learning what the nature of women is and the shit show that comes with a relationship with a woman I don't want to have to do ANYTHING with it. Women are disgusting creatures in my eyes when it comes to relationships of any sort and even if things can be perfect today their nature is working against you the male partner 24/7 and things can change 180 in an instant.

Worst part is that I even haven't been that fucked over by women in the great scheme of things not if i compare myself to the men who have been cucked and lied to through out their whole lives and I am a very decent person to the people who are most of the time acting decently toward me which is a hard obstacle for men and impossible one for women not because i choose it that way but because this is the way the act.

Overkillengine · 2019-03-23T02:21:56+00:00

They like to claim the man was abusive out of the blue after they started fucking him/bore his child.

99.999999% of the time that is unmitigated bullshit. The flags were there beforehand, they were just ignored because "he's hawwwwt" + " "I can fix him and prove myself to be perfect princess better than other women" + any other stupid rationalization becomes socially acceptable for women to use to abdicate agency.

NickTesla2018 · 2019-03-22T21:07:26+00:00

Seriously?! A domestic abuse article, and you're showing your tits?! Unreal.

anon_likes_tendies · 2019-03-22T23:57:15+00:00

She is a joke. She's a carnival of questionable decisions.

I-am-the-lul · 2019-03-23T01:47:03+00:00

The Lifetime Narrative pushes the idea that evil abusive men have to pretend to be nice guys to convince a woman to marry them so they can reveal their dark natures after it's too late.

The more real life fact is that these men that these abused women marry were obviously the bad abusive types if you spent even a few minutes talking to them.

Good_Old_Friend · 2019-03-24T02:45:16+00:00

But, tingles?!? I deserve tingles. My friends told me so.

freenzania · 2019-03-23T09:50:50+00:00

First part of her blog post describes my dad's life. My late mom verbally and physically abused him for 4 years before she died (thank God!). She broke his leg and prevented all of us from going to hospital to see him. He was there without getting any visit from us for three weeks. Karma is a bitch though. When she became sick to kaiser therapist she said she was the physically assaulted one. They didn't do anything to my dad for this. But they did prevent him from seeing her in hospital. My older sister went in sync with my mom. I was so severely angry about what she did with my dad that I didn't go to visit her. Back then I was still in my healthcare masters. As I kept reading cases i came across reports about kaiser's secret medical experiments on their patients. Whatever my sis described about what they were doing to my mom matched it all. I discussed it with my dad and he stubbornly tried taking her out of the hospital. We were successful. But she wasn't thankful. She again started being abusive towards my dad even though she couldn't still walk. I finally realized it was a hopeless case. Her illness got severe. Without telling my dad, my sis took her to hospital and that was the end. All her organs began failing and she passed away.

Just last year I came to know she was a narcissist. Hospitals usually show no mercy for people like her. Kaiser just knew her!

Cristoff13 · 2019-03-25T15:48:46+00:00

To The Man Who Will Love Me Next

https://archive.is/t2WUV

WTF did I just read. This document is a giant shit test. The patient gentle man she claims she wants would bore the shit out of her, she would start pushing and pushing until he responds with abuse or walks away. She almost, but not quite, gets it:

I am hard to love. There are times where I am extremely emotional and times where I am extremely cold. Sometimes I want all your attention and sometimes I want space. Everyday is different for me, somedays are happy and somedays I will be triggered and have a bad day. I am difficult. I will be the first to admit that. I need to be able to communicate how I am feeling to you free of judgement. I will listen to you always, but I need the same respect back. You will either be willing to deal with that and find a way to love me, or you will walk out like all the others have.

She is mentally ill. This illness was not caused by the bad men. It made her select these bad men. It will cause her to keep selecting bad men, while driving off decent men. Its so obvious. Maybe she's just pretending not to understand so she can write these terrible self-pitying click bait articles?

TexasMilitia · 2019-03-28T13:19:22+00:00

I gotta climb on my soapbox for a second. I almost got married to a struggling single mom of two girls/5th grade teacher in one of the poorer wards in New Orleans. That should’ve been my first clue. The minute I arrived in N.O. She changed from a delightful conversationalist and caring woman into the most foul mouthed screeching harpy that criticized my every single move and basically made my nuts shrivel up. Me being from a small Texas town, carrying a gun and generally not afraid of shit, she and I threw down in a store parking lot because I took my wallet out of my jeans. She’s literally screaming that my dumb hick ass can’t do that here or you’ll get shot. Fair enough, I reasoned, but no reason to attract the attention of thirty seven assorted people wandering around.

Fast forward to that night. She’s still bitching about it and upsetting her slightly autistic younger daughter. Daughter starts to act out and I calmly tell her, No ma’am we don’t say that to adults. Soon-to-be-wife goes PSYCHOTIC. She’s shaking the walls screaming at me that I will NOT by God EVER condescend to discipline HER children. They are HERS, not mine. I looked at her with mounting anger and said oh I guess it’s ok to pay for their school (I did) and clothes ( yep) and a “celebratory” rather expensive dinner at a chintzy seafood place (it was good, though). But they’ll never be “my” kids, right? She said yes you idiot.

In that instant, I swallowed the red pill. I thought of my ex wife who demanded a stress free life while I worked 100 hours a week. I thought of my ex girlfriend who seduced me into moving in with her and fixing up her mom’s old trailer on 20 acres, personally fencing triple barbed wire around the entire location, and numerous other costly things to the tune of $20,000. Two weeks later she kicked me out and remarried her crackhead ex who couldn’t hold down a job. I vowed NO MORE.

I immediately packed up all my stuff. Threw it in the car. She says what are we supposed to do now, suddenly realizing I am in fact pissed off beyond comprehension. The last words I spoke to her were I DON’T FUCKING CARE. I’ve been happily single since that day.

Sorry for the wall of text but thanks for letting me spew the poison out brothers.

smokecheck1976 · 2019-03-22T20:59:58+00:00

No she did not.

I don't care if I'm the only one to defend her because I know better than most what it's like. I was bigger and stronger than my ex, the difference was that I would never in a million years hit her or try to harm her and she knew it. I can tell you all about how the verbal abuse escalates, only they may tend to use more emotional abuse, but the holes are still in the wall if you bother to look and know where.

The man, or woman, that is going to abuse you doesn't come with warnings signs and a flashing red beacon warning you that they are going to do that. There is a very good chance that if you were to ask the abuser at the beginning of that relationship if they were going to do that, then of course the answer would be "No!" That person that became the alcoholic may not have touched that first bottle, had they known it would lead them to full blown alcoholism and lead to them destroying their lives.

Even sociopaths are not usually aware they are sociopaths, and they can't explain their behavior.

The abuse isn't present at the start. No, it's all sunshine and roses, then. It only comes as the victim becomes dependent on the user. Then the demoralization phase starts as the mask comes off. It's hell, because there is this person that you love and the person confronting you, and you want to believe that the person you still love is real, and waiting for you, somewhere. In fact, the victim can force themselves to not see the abuse, or to excuse it. It becomes, "Oh, he was just drinking, I should have left him alone." or "She just get's a little angry when I don't fold the towels the right way."

I also think that abusers have some way of psychologically picking out their victims, though I can't prove it.

keithrockz · 2019-03-28T17:59:16+00:00

She KNEW he was bad news before she ever slept with him....but,as usual,these kind of women overestimate the power of their"magical pussy"....they think that if they use all of the tried and true ways that women try to manipulate men...the dumb doe eyes,the pouting,"cutting him off"etc....that these things will work with men like this....no,they don't...men like this will be your worst nightmare ...they don't give a fuck

devok1 · 2019-03-29T07:26:22+00:00

one of many reasons why women arent fit to chose their husbands.

adivincent · 2019-03-27T17:29:45+00:00

Well. Since you “men” all continue to post about me in your group I’d like to clear some things up.

My family has ALWAYS supported me. My parents are still happily married (almost 30 years), I have the best sisters, and great friends. Most of which I’ve been friends with for 15+ years. My dad and I have a great relationship-sorry to bust your daddy issues assumption or that he is some “Blue-Pilled Billy Beta-Bux” (anon_likes_tendies I’ll take that $50 you bet since I’m such a broke single mom)
Since you all seem to know me so well you would know that I was being poisoned with Drano. I was forced to have sex. Brainwashed. Trapped. I had my child 8 weeks premature due to BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA. My organs were failing after. I was non responsive. Multiple surgeries. Blood transfusions. My family was told I was going to die. Yea. I definitely chose all of that.
I did not understand that what I was going through was domestic violence. I had never been around that growing up. I also was not married to R so I didn’t think that I fell into the category of domestic violence. This is part of the reason I even have my blog-to educate. You all saying I CHOSE to be abused are absolutely wrong. I did not know about him being abusive until it was too late. When you are abused you think everything that is going on is your fault.
For everyone saying that I get “tingles” for bad men or that I need a personal ATM or some programmer/IT man to support me. I haven’t received a dime in child support. I support myself and my child-by myself. Oh spoiler alert-I also financially supported R. Because he could not keep a job.
calling me fat, mentally ill, bitch, cunt, scumbag, degenerate, some of you saying I’m attractive, some of you saying I’m ugly. Used and abused. A toxic waste dump. Insulting the fact that I put my child first. A simp motherfucker. That I “get wet” reliving my past abuse. Rating me on a fuckable scale (thank god for my good boobs right? Because I lack a brain and have wrists the size of your ankles. Oh and chubby upper arms) Which sadly is only a few of the slanderous comments made about me.
I have never asked any man that I have dated to support my child. In fact I keep my dating life and my home life very separate.

I really can’t comprehend how this group can attack someone who is trying to raise awareness for domestic violence survivors. I’m not bragging about myself or saying “I’m hotter than you”. I am being very honest and open about what I went through. I have never said that all men are abusive or alcoholics. I’m mature enough to not lump all men into one category-unlike you all have here.

Also, I wouldn’t have even known about this reddit community if some of your members didn’t break “rule 4” and actually attempt to comment on my blog post which then emails me. Thanks for the other emails too, telling me to take my shirt off or I’m not relevant. Or to kill myself. I highly doubt any of you would say anything close to the things you wrote on here to my face, bunch of keyboard gangsters.

I am sure you won’t allow my comment to be posted or will delete it. But I am not someone that is going to stand by and let you so called men continuously make assumptions about me or say terrible things about my family and friends.

I’m Sorry- I spoke out of turn, how feminist of me.

ransay3277 · 2019-03-22T18:25:07+00:00

Yes domestic violence is a problem. But the problem stems from different skills and abilities. For the man, it's is inadequacy in conflict resolution skills, empathy for his partner and inability to get in touch with his feminine side. For the woman, it's her totally inability to just shut the fuck up.

Title	The Wages of Selecting a Bad Man.
Author	DonLandsman
Upvotes	138
Comments	92
Date	March 22, 2019 5:37 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/b47yer/the_wages_of_selecting_a_bad_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/the-wages-of-selecting-a-bad-man.346413 https://theredarchive.com/post/346413

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