Short:

Get good with children. If you've been around TRP for a while, you probably already are. The skills required to deal with and enjoy a relationship with a child are the same skills TRP preaches.

(By "children," I don't mean infants, and I don't mean teenagers. I mean children ages 2-10, with an emphasis on ages 2-6.)

If you've been around TRP for even a short amount of time, you've probably heard the comparison that a woman can act like a child in certain situations. In these situations, it's often best to deal with her like a child, but many of us here have never or rarely worked with children; single, mid-20s to mid-30s, no children probably describes a majority of the readers of this sub. Working with children is not necessary to become a better man, but it's a prime training ground for basic TRP strategy. Seems strange at first, but you have to trust Mr Miyagi.

Note that this guide is not telling you to become a parent, or to become someone's nanny. I'm only pointing out the similarities in the strategies used with both women and children.

Learning how to deal with kids will give you a problem space to try out some of the following stategies:

  • Dealing with shit tests

  • Building and holding frame

  • Building trust and enjoying a relationship

If you're already well-versed in the above, then working with kids should be a breeze for you. Try it out some time.

If you're not well-versed already, the benefits of trying this stuff out on children include:

  • Children are honest.

  • Even when they aren't honest, they're easy to read.

  • You don't risk endangering personal/professional relationships.

I won't be pointing out every parallel in strategy along the way, but as an exercise you should be thinking of how my strategies with children also apply to game and women.

No Whining, No Crying

I won't say that my parents brought me up Red Pill (far from it). But there was really only one rule in my house growing up: No Whining, No Crying. And damn, that's a good fucking rule, and it fits really well into this section on Shit Tests and Frame.

Children innately know how to shit test. That's what they do. Every time they meet a new adult, they will test their limits. Especially if their parents leave. Even more especially if they have bad parents. And even moreso in the long term. They will learn what behaviors get you to do what they want, and it's your job to make sure they're behaving the way you want.

It's easy to see the faint of heart giving in at first sign of a tantrum. But this is exactly what the kid wants: they get you to do whatever they want you to do, only by threatening a tantrum, or whining, or crying, or hitting, or screaming. When you look at a bad parent in this situation, it doesn't ever escalate to anything beyond a threat, because the parent is already scrambling to coddle their precious, delicate snowflake.

Don't coddle. "Coddling" is equivalent to "pedestalizing" in almost every sense. All it does is make you the child's bitch. You have to teach independence, and you have to clearly delineate boundaries and rules (hold frame). If they throw a tantrum over not wanting to eat dinner, fine. They can leave the table and go to bed immediately. They'll hardly ever take you up on the offer, but if they do they'll be plenty happy to eat when they wake up the next morning.

Again, these are just examples. In general, it's a matter of not caving in (holding frame). The child will take the easiest possible route to get what they want. Whining and Crying is their default strategy; it worked when they were infants, but now you have to expect more of them. Giving it to them immediately without getting manners or behavior in return is only making their job easier, and neither of you will benefit from that. Making them work a little bit to get what they want will not only make your life easier, but they'll learn something important in the process. And when they test you to your absolute limit, you need to not be afraid to call their bluff. Stand firm. No Whining, No Crying.

Children are Honest

As above, children are honest with what they need. But in general, they enjoy telling you what they think. All you have to do is ask.

They know everything there is to know about their favorite TV show. They'll tell you what they think about other people. They'll tell you exactly what's going through their heads and hearts at any given point. Most of it doesn't mean anything to you, but that's not the point. The point is that they are very in-tune with how they feel, their opinions, their thoughts. They'll share any thought or feeling with you so long as they trust you enough. If they don't trust you, they'll put on a filter and start lying.

Building trust with a kid starts with giving them just as much honesty as they give you. Again, I look at the bad parent who baby-talks their kid until they're in the 5th grade. The kid hates that. Speak to a child in a normal tone like you would any other person. They'll understand you just as well, if not better. They like being spoken to like a grown-up. And when you speak to them, don't lie to them. Whatever harsh truth you have to tell them, whether it's "No, you can't have ice cream" or "I'm not sure Suzie likes you back," you shouldn't have to care too much about their feelings. Obviously don't insult or ridicule them, but they will appreciate the honesty and they will reciprocate.

What matters is this glaring similarity to grown women, who are just as in-tune with their feelings. They're very opinionated, to the point where it seems like they have something to say about everything. This is another advantage of working with children: you're getting more experience and more understanding on how women tick, because they work in such a similar way. However, women's filters are tuned more to their own strategy and protection, as opposed to a child's tuned only for their own shyness. Understanding how to break a child's filter is easy mode. Learn to do that, and you'll begin to understand how to break down ASD, more shit tests, and similar female strategies.

Build something meaningful

This section is about building value out of every interaction you take part in. Take the first step to make that interaction better for the both of you, and mutual respect and admiration will follow. Turn any interaction from simple to fun and engaging. Find something unexpected which matters to them, and make it happen, however minor. Making an interaction count for something makes introducing yourself to new people that much easier and more memorable. It demonstrates your value immensely. It makes that person enjoy you more and want more from you.

You stand in line at the grocery store and a kid is standing in line behind you? Smile at them, say hi, ask them an open-ended question. Again, they're honest. They'll love talking to you. If they're shy, whatever, you've shown you cared.

Say you're babysitting a kid. Instead of plopping them in front of the TV and use Netflix as childcare, why not sit down and play with them? Make dinosaur noises, play Lego, play dolls, chase them through the backyard. There's only one thing kids love more than playing, and that's playing with a grown-up that knows how to play.

These are examples. Do more.

The point of this post is to demonstrate how TRP strategy can translate between women/game and children/parenting. If you want to follow through and test your skills, I'd recommend reaching out to friends and family members with children, ask if you can babysit one night. Maybe spend a few hours at the YMCA leading an activity. You stand something to gain from it. Or perhaps you've gleaned enough from the examples in this post to better understand how I approach different situations with women, and that's good too. The important part is that you've seen the parallels, and that understanding one of either women or children will help you understand the other.