Unplugged during a good LTR and started to view things differently...

UrsusG · 2017-07-27T17:49:45+00:00

My comment won't help you, but I'm making it for the other readers:

I do not live with her.

You done good.

The fact that you're not living with her is the reason why, after almost 3 years, she still:

cooks & cleans, splits bills, and she's supportive. She will fuck me at just about time, gives me road head, and will probably be open to threesomes in the future.

If you were living together, most of that shit would be gone and forgotten by the 18-24 month mark.

tl,dr: don't cohabitate.

littleblacktruck · 2017-07-27T18:11:21+00:00

The human condition is struggle. The mind is a strange thing, in that it invents struggle where there is none. I'm going to make an assumption based on my experiences... You'd like to fuck a 5 or 6 because you can be free to rail them anyway you choose and there be no reverberations beyond that moment. Do that with your LTR. Surprise her by whore-fucking the shit out of her. Either it sparks new life into the relationship or it accelerates it's demise. My two cents.

man0man · 2017-07-28T13:38:16+00:00

I feel your pain. The main problem with LTR's in my mind is that she can still passively pursue her sexual strategy (getting approached, meeting new, interested men every day) with plausible deniability while the guy is expected to stop doing all those things and ignore any attention he might receive from interested women. And if you say anything short of catching her cheating it's all "Wow you are being SOOO controlling". Not to mention you've tied your sexual satisfaction to her mood swings.

The bottom line is, you should listen to your gut. Not only is it usually right, but it also happens to determine whether you are ultimately happy or not. Otherwise you are just fighting these internal battles all the time, wasting energy convincing yourself something isn't wrong / that you are actually happy. Best of luck.

dandons · 2017-07-28T05:54:57+00:00

Hey man, you want to do some crazy shit? Travel the world and bang hookers for cheap. Naughty Nomad's blog is good for information on different places.

Endersgrain · 2017-07-28T02:31:31+00:00

Feel like I could have written it myself.

My situation is slightly different from yours but I can honestly say I'm in a similar spot. My n-count is a little higher (26 or so) but the situation is still the same - LTR where I am successfully enacting new found TRP principles with good results.

You may find this helpful or not but I noticed that your post is entirely about your relationship with her. Or other girls. Or Tosh's girls. But girls regardless. Don't forget there's more than just girls no matter how many you're pulling.

Now maybe you just chose not to write about it for a reason but I think there may be at least a sub-conscience connection here since you say you're missing risk... but it sounds to me like you're not actually living the first Iron Rule of Tomassi. You're still living in her frame - right? More so if you lived together but you're being "domestic", everything is going too smooth... it's moving towards nesting mode. You know it and I know it. It's the slow creep away from the masculine frame which longs for competition (think Fight Club) and into the feminine frame of domestication.

She may completely deny this - probably will. My girlfriend sure does. The end result is the same. The masculine frame demands dominance and freedom. Risks and failures. You can live that way with 1 pussy or 100. I mean, the Coolidge Effect is real - but ultimately it has the same end. An orgasm. You know you have a lot more potential than just having orgasms with 1 girl, 100 girls, or like James Hunt - 5000 girls. Just make your life about pursuing that potential and build a frame to follow. She'll either figure out how to make herself a part of it or she won't. Either way, you'll have a lot more to live for.

Just my 2c.

prostaddict · 2017-07-27T20:06:21+00:00

Work on increasing your SMV in the meantime. Beware of falling for the fantasy of 'if we werent together I'd be getting all the sex with all the hotties!'. It won't be that easy - you even admitted that before her you've only been with 5s and 6s. All guys are skeptical of commitment and feel how you do after a certain amount of time. Is your SMV higher than it was when you were averaging 5s and 6s? If not, then that'll probably be where you're going to be stuck at. Tread carefully

suxxos · 2017-07-28T06:12:06+00:00

Frankly, this happens to everyone in relationships, regardless of your gender. Yes, to women too. Of course, if any girl expressed similar doubts, she would be immediately labeled as a slut, bashed for leaving her bf without any reason and so on. But most people at this age think and feel in a similar way, and that's the thing. Sorry.

If I may advise you something, there is some point in life when you make rational decisions, and even though they might not be initially what you would pick relying solely on your instinct, ultimately these decisions will make you happy. We are humans, after all, we have brains (which are quite effective), not just hormons and sex-drive. There is SO MUCH to experience in life, so much to learn and so much to gain that does NOT involve having multiple sexual partners. In any case, exploring your sexuality and having intimacy with one partner can be, and usually IS, more fulfilling than having tens of lovers.

One thing that TRP doesn't usually tell you is that even if you decide to plate girls rather than be in a relationship, this most likely won't last forever. Yes, guys hit the wall too, maybe later than most girls, but it absolutely happens and is just as painful. Watching my friends who turn, say, 45, who think they are still young and attractive for 20-something-year-old girls, and who mostly get ridiculed by them, and are unable to bond in the first place after so many years of selfishness, who are probably going to be alone for the rest of their lives... not cool.

Steve_Wiener · 2017-07-28T02:45:50+00:00

Don't know what you got till it's gone.

Let's say you leave her to chase strange. Do you really have the game to pull other 8-9s semi-regularly? Even if you do, how many do you think are "smart, loyal (as far as I know) cooks & cleans, splits bills, and supportive?" Count your blessings, asshole.

nisocaniso · 2017-07-28T02:43:11+00:00

thanks for posting this. my exact same problem

RedSkeller · 2017-07-27T18:21:01+00:00

I've been there and it's a struggle - truly. In LTRs I get bored easily, I've had a few 1 -2 year spans, I've been single and even though I am a quality over quantity man - it really it a sea of pointless pussy out there. I'm an advocate of doing what makes you happy so think about it and make a decision. If you have a woman who does all that for you, you've got a good thing. Moving in will most likely ruin it for you. I'd say let it ride and if you're still feeling strongly that you need more life experience then be upfront about it and drop her, or if she's cool about getting another girl involved - that's the jackpot. You need to be selfish because it is your life and the moment you are honest with yourself, you'll feel much better.

Mr-Ed209 · 2017-07-28T06:33:46+00:00

It sounds like you're projecting your issues onto her and using her as a conduit for the dissatisfaction you feel in life. You are however in a difficult position. How old is she? If she's the same age the marriage and baby pressure is going to start creeping up on you pretty soon if it hasn't already.

What I will say mate is the grass is always greener. It's the reality of the human condition. I'm a year younger than you but my life is free as fuck. I've lived and worked in 5 different countries and done all sorts of shit 'on a whim'. Whenever I go home, my mates in 9-5 pepper me with questions and envy.

I knew I was nowhere near 'settling' at 23 when a lot of my friends started moving in with GFs etc (small town folk do that shit). I'm 25 now and the nihilism is setting in to some degree. Could I ever live with a girl in suburbs or some flatshare? Probably not ever, I crave variety too much in my routine. But at the same time I envy the comfort of 'having a place'. You can't exactly save for a home/apartment while moving places every 8 months.

I guess what I'm saying is. Think about it without 'her' in the picture. What life do you want? Comfort or excitement. They both have their merits and depression inducing realities.

wantonton · 2017-07-27T17:20:08+00:00

You need to decide if you're a rationalist, a moralist or a hedonist (prioritizes emotions). You are trying to resolve this conflict via a slip shod application of all three of the above. Prioritize between those three and assign to each it's proper place, then, and only, then work through your issue(s).

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-07-28T00:01:30+00:00

Start thinking of her as your "corner square" in Harem Tic-Tac-Toe....

xenigala · 2017-07-28T20:27:49+00:00

Advice from an older woman. You are 26, that is really young. You are obviously conflicted about this relationship and you know that monogamy is not for you. As you are sensing, being single can be challenging and developing. You will definitely meet more women. :)

From what you have written it sounds like you have already broken up with her in your mind. You also mention being concerned about having aggressive sex. The longer you stay with her, the more resentful and angry you will become.

It's easy to break-up because you are not living together. Show her the post you have written here or tell her something similar. Go traveling without her. Do the things that you want to do. Best wishes.

stampadbag · 2017-07-27T17:58:23+00:00

"I'm 26 and I just don't feel uncomfortable enough." You are 26, I am very close in age not doxxing myself but you are right on the money by saying you have not experienced abundance. multiple your n count by 10 at least. You have that creeping feeling that she isn't enough, then that is enough to end it with her or at least tell her you just lost attraction and want to explore other possibilities. She WILL probably cry and go crazy, but this is where you just need to focus on yourself.

"I feel like if I don't break it off and start fucking other girls, and going outside my comfort zone, and challenging myself, etc, I'm gonna wither away." You absolutely need to get out of your comfort zone and 26 is the perfect age to do it. You have no liabilities/responsibilities that truly can effect you the rest of your life at this point. You won't wither away exactly, you will just become more complacent.

"Am I stupid for having a good girl but not believing in the monogamous lifestyle? Sometimes I wish I could press pause on her and come back after I've traveled, fucked 100+ girls, achieved financial goals, etc."

Absolutely not. You aren't pressing pause, you are just focusing on yourself and you can let her down easy by saying maybe in a decade or so if we meet again then it was meant to be.

I will just end by saying you may have a great girl. But you do not have a great relationship if the thought of what else could be is on your mind. Hit the exit button. There are literally thousands if not a hundred thousand other "great girls"

IronBlok · 2017-07-28T16:38:02+00:00

You need to figure out what you want in life now. Then you can decide what to do.

Answer these questions: Do you want a family (kids) now? Do you want to settle down or be able to move around if desired? Do you want to have sexual relationships outside of your LTR now?

I think your answers are: I do not want a family now, possibly later. I do not want my movement constrained. I want to have sex with women other than my LTR. All of these questions could be answered differently in 6 months but now is what is important.

The above are good healthy answers, but it means that where you are now is not where you want to be. Your options are 1) break up with your LTR, 2) cheat on your LTR or 3) have a conversation about an open relationship/one sided monogamy/going on a break.

Option one is the easiest. Breaking up may be hard and you may regret it one day, but regret of a known entity (your LTR) is much easier to handle than regret of an unknown idealized entity (being free, fucking 100 women etc.). If you stay with your LTR you will always think about what could have been and possibly come to resent her or your situation for constraining you. Breaking up frees all of your time to go and explore all of your desires. They may end up being shitty for you, they may end up being the best thing ever. Regardless, you will figure out if the grass is greener on the other side FOR YOU and that is what matters.

Option two is more difficult logistically, requires you have less traditional morals and gives potential for a possible massive blowup down the road. On the plus side it allows you to keep your LTR and also fuck other women. This is covert one sided monogamy and it is much more effective than option three because I assume you do not want other dicks in your LTR's pussy. A great thing you have going for you is you only see the LTR twice a week so there is plenty of "play time" built into your schedule. You may sex 10 girls and then realize that it isn't that great and then revert to monogamy. You may fuck 10 girls and then say wow breaking up is going to be easy now. You may end up loving this lifestyle but your LTR with eventually push for marriage so this option is temporary. But it buys you some time to gain clarity while still keeping her on the books. This is risky but if you think she has great value the risk may align with her worth. Of course if she finds out you lose everything.

Option three is open relationship or variations. I would NOT do this option and I saw it recommended a few time. Most conversations about this end in a break up and it would be a break up you would never be able to "get back together in 6 months" from. Most women find this talk repulsive and will see you as repulsive afterwards. Also if she agrees to it, that means she is bored too and wants strange dick inside her. Which changes the game for you because now you know she is not loyal (and yes AWALT but AWALT is situational and some women are vastly more loyal than others). If she is an 8/9 that means lots and lots of penis. Think of your girl getting facialed by one of your friends. If this doesn't appeal to you (because you are not a cuck) then option three is a no go.

Option one is low risk and also does not weigh on your morality. I think this is the option for most people in your situation. Good luck.

Ketogainsmongoose · 2017-07-28T06:06:19+00:00

You are not a true sociopath because you still care enough to stay.

Anyway, do what's right for you. Don't stay for her benefit. You already know the answer or you wouldn't be here wringing your trembling hands over this problem, hoping to be validated by TRP members.

You want more partners. She's enforcing a monogamous relationship.

You + LTR = n8

You - LTR = n?+

You know what you want, the choice is clear. You don't owe anyone an explanation for wanting more for yourself.

edit be very careful of non EC member's advice. I see alot of theory and "demand open relationship" posts. These are not actionable posts and will probably confuse you, more than anything.

borntobeanincel · 2017-07-28T07:14:59+00:00

bro, thank u for this post! i m also lone wolf type. 26. was in ltr with this hot girl. liked fucking her but got bored. I like variety too much! cant eat same meal for dinner n lunch. also dgaf about what people have to say or think. i would rather fuck a new woman every day then fuck very hot woman weekly.

CJPisalive · 2017-07-28T08:30:33+00:00

If you're 26, you don't know shit abour shit. Your focus is wrong. I'll leave it to you to ponder why.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-07-28T17:58:07+00:00

I understand you. I was in a relationship for 5 years and she too was good (in a red pill way). My favorite thing about her was that she would drop any plans for me. If she had plans with her friends and I wanted her to come over, she'd come over. If it was her cousins birthday and I wanted to chill in my room, she'd chill with me in my room.

I broke up with her 7 weeks ago for sort of the same reason as you. I wanted to fuck other girls, get outside my comfort zone, and challenge myself.

I haven't fucked other girls yet, but I have gotten outside my comfort zone by a lot, I've challenged myself in numerous ways, and I've learned a lot about myself.

I am much happier now that I'm single. Even though she was great and didn't give me any major red flag to dump her, even though I miss her, even though she was like my best friend, I am happier, and I'm not even fucking other girls yet.

My reason (excuse) for breaking up with her was that I didn't have an urge to marry her and I knew she was waiting for me to propose. I told her I didn't want to waste her time or my time. Then I ghosted.

Just make sure that if you're done with her, you're done with her. None of this 'after I've fucked 100 girls and traveled' bs. For all you know, the day after you dump her she's already rode 3 other dicks. Once it's done, it's done. She won't be the same girl.

xenigala · Fri Jul 28 20:27:49 2017 UTC

Advice from an older woman. You are 26, that is really young. You are obviously conflicted about this relationship and you know that monogamy is not for you. As you are sensing, being single can be challenging and developing. You will definitely meet more women. :)

From what you have written it sounds like you have already broken up with her in your mind. You also mention being concerned about having aggressive sex. The longer you stay with her, the more resentful and angry you will become.

It's easy to break-up because you are not living together. Show her the post you have written here or tell her something similar. Go traveling without her. Do the things that you want to do. Best wishes.

Spets87 · 2017-07-29T02:46:14+00:00

I'm in a 3 year relationship and also looking to jump ship. She cooks, cleans etc but due to her medical issues (big red flag but I was blue pill when we started) our sex life sucks. She did suggest an open relationship for a while (for me to bang other girls, she didn't want other guys), but since we live together the logistics seem a bit of a pain in the ass. Maybe I'm still just too blue pill to make it work.

-VaeVictis- · 2017-07-29T05:32:41+00:00

Way too many replies of passive agressive dudes mad at you for being with a "great girl" and feeling like that. Is this what this sub has come to?

Its perfectly ok to feel like that OP. Everything in life is temporary, the truth is that eventually either you or her will fuck it up. It doesn't matter how many TRP spergies here yell at how you should be happy and appreciate the great unicorn you have, do whatever the fuck you want to.

Just because she seems perfect doesn't mean its wrong to get tired of her face. People fall out of love all the time, just make sure that if you're going to mess things up your SMV is high enough and your life is going in a path you're proud of.

ImpGaillac · 2017-07-27T19:24:05+00:00

Demand open one-way monogamy. She doesn't get a say. She will enjoy the competition and feeling degraded. Most importantly you're living the life you want to lead and aren't a slave to the emotional whims of a child in an adult's body. Put your tinder profile up in front of her and let her know this her new norm and that she cannot do better than you so she can accept it graciously or get the fuck on. Let me repeat, you owe her nothing, she'll enjoy being demeaned and a Man never sneaks around. He takes what he wants with the confidence of his convictions. You will have her nervously waiting on you hand and foot.

Title	Unplugged during a good LTR and started to view things differently...
Author	iBchyllen247365
Upvotes	35
Comments	47
Date	July 27, 2017 4:47 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6px7y1/unplugged_during_a_good_ltr_and_started_to_view/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/unplugged-during-a-good-ltr-and-started-to-view.44942 https://theredarchive.com/post/44942

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