What You're Getting Yourself Into

~2,000 words. 8-10 minutes. If in a hurry, you skip to the argument for the lolz.

Some of you might vaguely remember me from a now-deleted thread called "King of the Blue Pill Mountain" months ago and more recently an askTRP post about getting 14 phone numbers from speed dating.

Well, the shenanigans continue.

Here's a Field Report where I both succeed and fail so spectacularly at basic TRP principles, I'm genuinely concerned I have autism.

Just so this isn't absolute trash, I'll point out what TRP principles I did right and what TRP principles I went full autistic on.

Feel free to cringe and criticise (constructively, please) about this turn of events. As you'll see, I need all the advice I can get.

Basics:

  • 24M

  • Found TRP 9 months ago

  • Started lifting 4 months ago

  • Finished TRM, SGM, and most of the sidebar. Currently reading Models and Way of Superior Man.

  • N-count = 1 (Yeah, I know)

Backstory:

If you check my submission history, you'll note that I went speed dating last week. After following up on the phone numbers, one girl we'll call Karen was game to meet me.

Karen is a 26-year old HB7 lawyer I meet at said event.

The plan was to have drinks, play pool, buy ice cream, get her to my place to eat it, suggest we go inside to watch a movie, and then f-close.

So, this FR will cover the steps of that process. I've left out a bunch of stuff because it'd be too long and boring if I included everything. So, this is just the major points.

#1: Drinks (A Rocky Start)

Karen lives far away from me. This is normally a dealbreaker as I certainly don't have the SMV that you so commonly see other FRs feature women traveling 45+ minutes to see a guy.

To my surprise, she has a friend who lives literally a 10-minute walk away from me, so she could simply sleep over there after meeting me.

Game on.

(Lesson 1: Logistics, logistics, logistics.)

There's a cozy hidden restaurant & bar about 5 minutes from my place. Because of the logistics, seclusion, and affordability of the place, I like to start all of my (very few) first dates there.

I arrive about 20 minutes late. She'd been waiting for me and was on the phone talking to someone. I quietly grabbed a seat and started messing around with my phone waiting for her to finish.

She finishes up and then accuses me of being late, pulling up our text conversation to prove it. I tease her saying that's such a lawyer thing to do and that quickly dies down.

We move to a table where things are a little quieter where she starts joking that this is where I bring all my dates. I respond with, "Of course, I save the really fun stuff for later. Behave and we might go ice skating."

(Lesson 2: Agree and amplify.)

She asks what I do, since I'd purposely avoided that back on our speed date. I mention I do photography and segway into this little routine where I bring out my iPad and show pictures I've taken while explaining the stories behind them.

(Autism #1: Kill the mystery by talking about yourself.)

The discussion kind of drags on a bit about work. Somewhere in there, she asks where I live. I mention that I live with my parents (because fuck if I'm changing my living situation, so she's either down or she's not). She asks why, I explain.

(Autism #2: Don't explain yourself. Better yet, just fucking live your life in a way you won't have to.)

Then, she shifts the topic to our sexual pasts. She asks, "Why did you break up with your girlfriend? What did you do?"

Then, she asked about my n-count. I lied and said 12. Of course, that's lower than her expectation.

Hers? She said 5. I called bullshit, asking what the real number was including all those who "don't count" because she wasn't sober, they didn't fuck in a bedroom, she wasn't 18, they weren't BF and GF, etc.

(Autism #3: NEVER FUCKING DISCUSS YOUR N–COUNT OR SEXUAL PAST.)

She ordered herself some food, paid for it and ate. I paid for my drinks. And I said, "Hey, I wanna play some pool."

#2: Pool (Everything's Great)

Like every girl I've ever talked to, Karen had never played pool in her life. Which is awesome, because:

  • Showing a girl how to use a pool stick is idiot-proof kino.

  • Since they're not very good at it, it humbles their ego.

  • The misses and fouls can be incredibly hilarious.

  • It introduces an element of competition.

(Lesson 3: Action dates! Do something physical, especially if she's never done it before.)

At this point, everything is going absolutely fantastic. The conversation is effortless. The fun was writing itself. And all indications were great.

We finish up a 2nd game and I say, "Hey, grab our things. Let's go get some ice cream."

Karen: "Jeez, you're so bossy." smile

Me: "Yeah, it's a habit of mine."

#3: Ice Cream & Pull-Ups

So, we head to a nearby 24h store and grab a 1 litre tub of vanilla-strawberry ice cream.

Afterwards, we drive to my place. I grab a couple of spoons, we sit outside and then start eating ice cream.

We talk about random shit, and the entire time, I notice that her body language is very closed off. Crossed legs. Crossed arms. Leaning away from me. And checking her phone every couple of minutes.

(Lesson 4: Read her body language. Calibrate accordingly.)

Yeah, I was in no position to escalate so I figure I'd try see if I can change that. We get to discussing food. I mention that I work out. She disagrees. I say that I'll just show her my home gym.

We head to it. I show her the power rack, weights and so on. I challenge her to do a pull-up.

But she's too short to reach the bars, so she monkey climbs the power rack to get to them. But can't do a single one.

I grab her by the hips and assist her for 3 pull-ups, before carrying her back down. We return to sit and... body language is still closed off.

(Lesson 5: Know when to cut your losses.)

She suggests I take her to her friend's place. I realise this isn't happening tonight. So, we get in the car and are off.

On the way, this is where shit goes off the rails.

#4: The Yelling

This is the gist of the conversation as I best recall it:

Karen: I'm glad to hear you swear because it means I can swear.

Me: Meh, I have no problems with swearing. I know it's weird but I'm just not a fan of using it in anger.

K: Oh, you get mad very easily?

M: Wait, what? What makes you say that?

K: Because back at the speed dating thing. You asked me to say the alphabet backwards. I refused. You asked me if that was my final answer. I said no. And you got up and left. So, I was like "What the fuck is the problem with this guy?"

(Autism #4: Whenever someone mentions Push-Pull, understand that TATWA is the nuclear option, not a push tactic.)

M: Yeah. But I didn't do that because I was mad. If someone doesn't want to play along, I find someone else to talk to. You'll remember I walked off and went to talk to J (another girl). I guess you're mad because you're not used to people walking away from you.

K: What? I'm not mad. I played it cool. You walk away from me, I say nothing. You asked me if we could hang out the next day, but never call me. I didn't bring it up. Blah blah blah blah.

M: Okay, let me simplify this. You're a pretty girl. (she looks amused) Yeah, I ain't saying that again. You heard me. I like you. And I want to see you again. If the feeling is mutual, fine. If it's not, that's fine too. You've lived your entire life without knowing me. I've lived my entire life without knowing you. We can be on our separate ways no problem.

By this point, we've arrived to her friend's place.

She then gets out of the car.

K: holds up hand for a high-five

M: Hahaha. Nope.

K: So, you want a hug?

M: Nope.

K: A kiss?

M: It's been on my mind for a couple of hours.

K: Ha! Well, I'm not that easy. You'll have to earn it by being a gentleman. Next time, you'll open doors for me, pay for my food and drinks, and never take me to your dad's house.

M: Oh dear, you really think you're a disney princess, don't you?

K: Do you really want to see me again?

M: I'd like to, but if the feeling isn't mutual, so be it. Anyway, we'll see what happens... or what doesn't happen. Whatever.

K: ... You're scary, you know that?

M: I burst out laughing

K: Why are you laughing?

M: Sit back in the car. [She does] I'm laughing because all my past experiences end with an unspoken, mutual understanding as to whether we'll see each other again or not. This is the first time I'm ever negotiating this and I can't help but laugh at how ridiculous this is. So, whatever happens, happens.

She leaves the car, slams the door, half-smilingly yells "Well, I had fun!" before flipping me the middle finger.

M: Oh yeah, that's a classy move!

K: Go away!

M: I'm not leaving until I see you go inside.

K: calms down Actually, yeah. Don't leave yet.

She goes inside. I get home wondering what the fuck just happened.

After a while, I shoot her a text:

Assuming I'm not already blocked and/or deleted, between pool, pull-ups, ice cream and an argument ending with 🖕🏼?

I'm down to see what wacky mess of fun and drama we can get into a 2nd time.

If the feeling is mutual, text me a 🖕🏼 (or whatever, I'm not the boss of you 😂) when you wake up later.

Her response? Simple. Instant.

🖕🏼

Goodnight

I shoot back "You too, disney princess" and that was it.

Conclusion:

Yesterday was a lot of things. Boring was certainly not one of them.

Will I see her again? Don't know. And if it did, I don't know if this would be to collect more gossip or because there's attraction there.

Should I see her again? Well, good or bad, experience is experience and I'm in need of a lot of that.

TRP Lessons:

  1. Logistics, logistics, logistics.

  2. Agree and amplify.

  3. Action dates! Do something physical, especially if she's never done it before.

  4. Read her body language. Calibrate accordingly.

  5. Know when to cut your losses.

Autistic Mistakes:

  1. Kill the mystery by talking about yourself.

  2. Don't explain yourself. Better yet, just fucking live your life in a way you won't have to.

  3. NEVER FUCKING DISCUSS YOUR N–COUNT OR SEXUAL PAST.

  4. Whenever someone mentions Push-Pull, understand that TATWA is the nuclear option, not a push tactic.