It’s honestly appalling how women are so bad with money [my story]

First time poster, I just had to make an account after finding this community. It’s refreshing to find a community of people that aren’t afraid of calling things out as they see them.

I do have to confess though, I wasn’t always going my own way. I dated women and had many long term relationships before I stopped basing my own value on how others saw me. I feel like I’m on a constant journey of finding out all the lies I’ve been told my whole life. It seems like every time I read an observation here, I can look back on my own experiences and see the truth for myself.

My most recent revelation has been just how bad women are with money. I dated this woman years ago who lived with me; she never paid rent, only “cooked” frozen meals, and was constantly stressing about making ends meet. Foolishly, I enabled her behavior, even while watching her waste money on alcohol and concert tickets. Eventually, I was supporting her to the point where I was beginning to stress about money, despite being an aggressive saver and very financially literate.

If I could go back in time and slap the shit out of myself, I would.

We broke up soon after she finished school, and she immediately got together with a friend I had always been suspicious of, go figure.

I ended up moving away and taking a new job several states away as a teacher. Of course, most of my colleagues are female (being a man in the educational world is a whole other thing I could talk about, but I’ll save that for another post). Immediately after starting my new job and living single for awhile, I started noticing that I had more money left over at the end of each month. I started investing in things I personally enjoy doing, building up my savings, and even dabbling in long-term investing.

Of course, the women in my workplace began to take notice - I could afford newer clothes, I bought a new car with cash, and I would never chime in during conversations about financial struggles. I’ve never been the type to overtly show off wealth, but it was like they could smell it.

I noticed women in my department going out of their way to compliment me on anything that I had recently purchased. They also began asking me for financial advice. Being the helpful guy I am, I offered to help one of my colleagues make a budget. After school one day, we were sitting in the teacher’s lounge with her laptop setting up a budget when I asked to see her bank statements so we could make columns of common expenses and make a plan.

Guys, if I needed to point to a single moment that made me go full MGTOW, it would be the moment I laid eyes on this train wreck.

Almost every charge was either at a bar, a clothing store, or a dining-out meal. When I ran the numbers, she was spending less that 10% of her money on groceries, nearly 20% on clothes, and a whopping 50% on bars and restaurants! Along with that, she had no savings and nearly $5000 in credit card debt.

Shocked, I tried my best to adjust her budget to allocate some money towards paying off her debt, but she bemoaned every cut I would suggest. Eventually, I finished my plan and drove home, still trying to wrap my head around how someone could be that irresponsible.

After our teacher’s lounge meeting, she must have told our other colleagues, because I was swarmed the next day after school by women asking me to help them with their budgets. Nearly every woman in my department is living paycheck to paycheck with at least $2k in debt from irresponsible spending habits. At this point I started making excuses to go home after work just so I don’t become someone’s free financial advisor for the evening.

However, it seemed like the more I ignored my colleagues, the more they would go out of their way to compliment me, find excuses to come by my classroom, or invite me to gatherings outside of work. It got to the point where even my students started to notice it and make jokes about me being everyone’s crush (It fortunately slowed down when administration got involved. Our principal is a divorced older man who is probably my favorite person in the whole school).

Oh, and the woman who I helped that one day in the teacher’s lounge? She ended up adopting a puppy outside a grocery store about a month later. That’s right: she can barely afford rent and she voluntarily brought in another mouth to feed (as well as a large liability) while already in massive debt. I feel sorry for that poor dog.

Not only did it boggle my mind that my colleagues were that obvious about gold digging, but it also was crazy to me that I suddenly became the object of everyone’s attention simply by ignoring them and not being in debt. As a younger man, I was always a nerdy, quiet kind of guy that the girls ignored. Needless to say, being the new “school crush” was something I’d never experienced or even considered a possibility. And, to be frank, it startled me how easy it was.

In another life, I could probably abuse this new status, but I have no desire to, for several reasons: I enjoy having savings, I like having a clean house, I don’t want to be the target of some dreamed up assault case, I like my job, and, most importantly, I want to set a good example for the young men in my classroom. A man does not need anyone else to asses his value for him, all he needs to do is be true to himself.