Be comfortable being alone.

SocietalEngineering · 2017-08-18T19:17:31+00:00

Jesus Christ thank you for posting this. I went the club the other night, alone, and felt like a complete fucking social reject.

This is exactly what I needed.

white_girl_lover · 2017-08-18T20:21:33+00:00

I'm an introvert who is very comfortable being out and about doing things solo (like walking to class)

It still amazes me when I guys freak out when they don't have a squad to go get lunch with or something, like even the most confident looking dudes will ooze with anxiety at times like this.

SasquatchMcKraken · 2017-08-18T19:24:50+00:00

Great post. The vast majority of us came into this with at least a couple RP traits and I'm glad I can say this is one of mine, though in H.S. it set me against the grain. Even now most people I know feel some overwhelming desire to "do something" always, and feel it's a knock on their self-worth if they don't. They need a girlfriend, they need a party to go to on Friday, they need to be hanging with friends, etc or they feel like losers. From men I don't understand this mindset. I enjoy parties as much as anyone and love social drinking more than most, but I'm comfortable with my thoughts or reading a book or watching a doc on YouTube. If all or even most of your validation is imported rather than internal, you're fucked. It hamstrings the shit out of your ability to ever truly practice DGAF/outcome independence.

wiredtobeweird · 2017-08-18T17:37:21+00:00

someone will approach you
Plan your next move

I'd suggest to be careful with that shit. First of all you could end up with this, secondly thinking about something instead of doing it is not only 'meh' more often than not, it also produces threat in you. The longer you keep something in your head not doing it, the heavier the needed willpower to actually do it will become. Be chill yes, but don't be passive.

Be comfortable being alone.

This very point however IS indeed gold. If you NEED anyone or anything you become a beta chasing something to feel good. May it be attention, validation, acceptance or whatever. You are acting from a position of being incomplete. Be complete and chill with yourself, without needing anything. Then right after go take action and rock the place. "It's all good. Now let's make it better!" as kind of an metaphor for it.

waking-life · 2017-08-19T01:58:33+00:00

Good advice.

I'm in my late 30s, single (obviously), found TRP late.

Introvert. Live alone.

But I go out at least once a week, and being my age, most of my boys are married/have kids etc. so they can't usually get away.

So I go out alone.

Last Saturday night I left home at 8pm, got home at 6am on Sunday.

Met a group of six girls at the first place. Drank, danced, the taken ones tried to set me up with their single friend ("Do you wanna get laid tonight?"). It didn't end up happening, but whatever.

Went to second place, got a number from a girl in tight leather pants because I acted like the prize and she was bewildered ("Guys don't usually say things like that!"). She didn't reply when I messaged, but whatever.

Went to the third place, there was some drama with police outside so they weren't letting anyone in but I met two Irish guys and we all went to the fourth place to dance.

There, I met two girls and smoked a joint with them to end the night. They didn't wanna come back to my place for some reason (ha), but whatever.

Just go. Drink if you have to. Start talking to people. It gets easier, and sometimes way more fun than being with friends.

Disciplinedgenius · 2017-08-19T03:15:09+00:00

The most mentally powerful have no problem whatsoever being alone. Being comfortable with yourself is a strong foundation for any endeavor. Most pussies you see on college campuses or the work environment would fucking break into pieces if you isolated them for a couple days let alone weeks.

MrAnderzon · 2017-08-18T21:59:21+00:00

The majority of people don't know how to be alone. They think it's wrong or creepy.

FNM205 · 2017-08-18T19:30:06+00:00

This is one area of my life I am willing to give advice on. I never get bored I have so many hobbies. Good stuff brother

slumdog-millionaire · 2017-08-18T21:20:49+00:00

Agreed, I also love being around people but everyone needs to learn how to be with themselves because you're the only person you can completely rely on.

One of the benefits of this is that other people will have less power over you, when you are comfortable on your own you won't hesitate to walk away from shitty people.

enjoylifedude · Sat Aug 19 7:44:15 2017 UTC

Very important. If you can't be comfortable with yourself, how the fuck do you expect other people to be comfortable around you?

lopsidedlucky · 2017-08-19T11:18:18+00:00

DO YOUR OWN THING. Be in your own world. People are gravitated to this. I promise someone will approach you at some point and ask "what are you looking at?" "What are you thinking about?"

Bro thank you!!! You just got me laid. My tinder chick flaked because I was screening her to hard and being an extra dick. Ended up sitting at the bar alone. Tried amused mastery but wasn't working.

Pulled up trp basically giving up on the evening and decided to just enjoy my drink. Read your post and said fuck it. Genuinely relaxed and the IoI's started from nearby girls. Then one approached me. Chatted for an hour and she took me back to her place.

God damn TRP is fucking crazy!!!

ShouldersofGiants127 · 2017-08-19T18:33:06+00:00

I love going out alone man. I'm sort of wild when I got out, as in I like to move around and see different shit, talk to types of people I don't normally get a chance to talk to. I feel like unless I go out with someone who has that same mindset, I'll feel like I'm attached to a ball & chain all night and it usually fucks me up for the rest of the night.

harsha_hs · 2017-08-19T14:43:23+00:00

Fantastic stuff. This is No. 1 display of confidence. Everyone gets it. If you can be alone without getting awkward at any social place, you have your shit together and DGAF about validation from others. This is huge turn on for wimmen and shows power over other men

Shakydrummer · 2017-08-19T02:17:26+00:00

Big time. The biggest lessons on this was relearning it after an LTR. Learning how to he happy just doing your own thing was really helpful in grounding myself.

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2017-08-19T02:36:15+00:00

in my practice and I've told my clients from time to time, you come into this world alone and you're going out alone. And when you got to bed at night, you're alone (psychologically)... You really get to know yourself if youre willing to really spend some time alone with yourself. However, many people have built up distortions and other defenses to protect against that experience. And RPT from my perspective is against that..try starting at yourself in the mirror for 30 minutes see if you can it do it. And oh, don't forget to smile, because that's you!!! ;-)

Throwaway_5252 · 2017-08-22T02:34:57+00:00

Yeah, I'm have kind of taken up the loner thing 100% lately. I go to the strip clubs alone (my guy friends thinks it's too sleazy or whatever.) see prostitutes/high-end escorts/ (one of whom is my ladyfriend when she's in town) attend brothels. I've taken up the role of film noir protagonist to some extent. haha.

victor_knight · 2017-08-19T09:11:29+00:00

When you're not alone, it's only a matter of time before somebody asks you for something or to do something. Fuck that.

AutobiographicalDay · 2017-08-19T08:08:11+00:00

Being an introvert doesn't make you a beta anymore than being an extrovert makes you an alpha.

PantsonFire1234 · 2017-08-19T23:37:56+00:00

I grew up going to a two high schools. Both were in my sub-urban district and people know other people from the other school and vice versa. When my grades dropped I ended up going to the other high school which was a slightly smaller school. And the community there was very tight. Everyone knew eachother, this was kind of a reflection of the part of town where I lived. Which is much more inter-personal than the rest of the busy city. So I grew up used to never being alone despite growing up in a single mother household.

Eventually I learned though that when people start to build up their adult lives and develop their specific interests, those big gatherings of friends, cease to exist. They might continue if you live in a small town or your friends don't have any ambitions. But right around the time I entered my mid-twenties I watched as my social circle dwindled and we went from hanging out daily to once a week, if not once a month. I'm fortunate enough to have a pretty tight group of friends that I know for years. Which exist of both girls and guys. But where I was used to having multiple friend groups and sometimes chilling with a group of 15+ I would find that things end up on a much smaller scale.

That in and of itself is part of life. The young girls you date who just celebrated their 20th birthday won't understand yet. And some people will desperately try to hold on to these late teenage years. But eventually you will have to let go and there will be times where you can get lonely. The only way to avoid this is to get a girlfriend and kids, starting a family.

Either way it's perfectly normal to have these days in adult life and the worst thing you can do is trying to fill this void by putting yourself out there engaging with rando's who don't give a shit about you. What works best for me is to use these days of free time to invest in improving myself. I go for a run, I workout, I play my guitar, focus on work, read some literature or generally try to make something productive off my day. Our society is an unrealistic one. It expects you to be in great shape, have a 24/7 social life, succesfull job, lots of pussy, nice car, great house, healthy dog and so forth. But in reality time is limited and you need to make choices. Those who party every weekend will never be in great shape, those who are in great shape will never party every weekend. Understanding how ridiculous and childish our society is and dealing with your options in a grownup and realistic manner will help you way more than trying to cater to said unrealistic society. I still see people in their mid twenties trying to have weekend marathons and it's kind of sad. They don't get shit done and you can read the fear of loneliness in their eyes.

[deleted] · 2017-08-20T01:37:37+00:00

Or socialize like normal human beings and realize not everyone is out there for the sole purpose of sucking your dick?

If you feel like a reject; It's just you. No one at the club gives a flying fuck about you.

If you're uncomfortable being alone; It's called codependency and you should be in real therapy for it. Not a cult forum.

BetaBitchBoy69 · 2018-02-06T00:03:19+00:00

I’ve dumped toxic girlfriends knowing i’ll be alone, and never really fucking cared... I have lots of hobbies and a career. I could definitely see being lonely if i didnt hve all this shit lmao

Torabor64 · 2017-08-18T17:48:42+00:00

Lmao. An extrovert would talk about being totally alone.... at a party.

I dont feel alone until I get beyond cell phone service.

TunedtoPerfection · 2017-08-18T21:27:40+00:00

Extrovert = Low IQ if I'm honest.

chickenfoot911 · 2017-08-19T04:55:00+00:00

People only gravitate to you if you are an attractive person. I.e. square jawline.

Title	Be comfortable being alone.
Author	pattejac
Upvotes	361
Comments	88
Date	August 18, 2017 5:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6ujbk2/be_comfortable_being_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/be-comfortable-being-alone.45420 https://theredarchive.com/post/45420

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