Dread is a good tactic, but it can not be deployed until you have her hooked in.

Background

Let me tell you a story about one of my first ever girls I went out with post taking the red pill, losing weight, serious lifting and drastically improving my SMV.

Lets call her Ashley.

Now Ashley was a good girl. Didn't really have any red flags. She actually gave me her number when I was bartending one night. I took a while to text her but I did. Once I did she was all over me like flies on shit. Why wouldn't she be. I considered myself to be higher SMV. Low body fat, ripped arms with vascularity, 6 pack. Texted me and snap chatted so much it was almost creepy. I held frame and generally rationed my responses but made sure to keep a flirty/teasing vibe. We arranged logistics to go out for drinks together.

I meet up with Ashley and we hit it off, chemistry was great picking up where we left off texting. The problem here is that I thought I had her hooked so I began to apply dread. I talked to other girls infront of Ashley. I told Ashley about all the Tinder matches who wouldn't leave me alone and showed her my matches. Ashley asked me how many Tinder dates I have been on the past week, and thinking its a shit test, I responded with "6 but trying to make it 10 by tomorrow night". I talked about how Ashley was one of dozens of girls to leave me her number at the bar and how I couldn't keep up with all the numbers I got. My strategy here was obvious - dread. Make it look like I have a lot of women in my life, which would make me look more attractive to Ashley and show she would have to work harder to keep my attention.

We go back to my place and hook up. She was clearly into me and attracted, obviously. She leaves, and sends me a text saying how much of a great time she had and how good I made her feel.

Thanks but no thanks

Unfortunately that was the last I heard from Ashley. A couple days later I reach out to see her again and she tells me she isn't interested in going out again, how it won't work and she is sorry.

I didn't get it. I waited a couple of days(tip: if you ever get a message like that, fight the urge to respond right away, give it 48 hours to reply, otherwise you will look like a needy bitch) and I gave her a call. She answered and proceeded to tell me how she just couldn't get past the fact that it seemed like I was too much of a player, how she felt like she was just another girl in my rotation, that I probably date many girls.

Basically, the morning after, she felt cheap. "Ugh! I can't believe I did that with him! He probably sleeps around with so many girls! Ugh! That's not me! I'm not a slut! I have to break it off with him to prove I am not a slut!". Since I came off as too much of a player, it activated her ASD into high heaven and made her feel like a total tramp.

While it is true that women are more attracted to men whom other women are attracted to, this generally only works in terms of pre-selection and initial attraction. Then, it works once you have her hooked. It does not work in between - for first/2nd dates, or initial conversations. From the moment you get an IOI to the moment you feel like you actually have her hooked, you need to shut the fuck up about other women and ignore other women(while with her). Pass her shit tests when she asks you about other women in ways that don't make you seem like a player, otherwise you'll activate her ASD and its an uphill fight. Until you hook her, make it appear like she is the only woman in your life. Now I am not saying go 100% full provider beta, but you can't go 100% full alpha player. You have to find the right balance, erring on the side of player. Think 75%-25%.

What does it mean to have her hooked?

Here is another hard truth - just because she is into you and attracted, doesn't mean you have her hooked. I've made the mistake, multiple times, of thinking because a girl was really into me and obviously attracted, that she was hooked. Ashley was one. She was all over me, always asking how I was doing, unsolicited. She always initiated every conversation, she gave me her number, etc. And while we were out on our date, she was all over me, wanting to rub my abs, wanting to touch my veins on my arm, and so on.

But, I didn't have her hooked yet.

My rule of thumb is you aren't going to have her hooked unless:

  • You have had 3 successful dates, with progressive escalation in each date that leads to a 3rd date fuck,

-OR-

  • You have fucked her twice

No, a successful first date, whether you fuck or not, won't have her hooked. In order to hook her, she has to want to see you again after your initial meet up. It's why its probably a good idea to not go for the first date kiss or lay if you want something long term(plate or higher), unless you are OK it being a one night stand. A first date kiss or lay can make her feel cheap and used, as I did with Ashley.

3 dates and a lay will have her hooked because it shows she wanted to see you 2 more times after your initial date, meaning the doubt is out of the way and she is invested in you.

2 fucks will have her hooked because it shows she didn't have any problems internally after the first fuck, and was willing to do it again, meaning mentally she was able to get to the point where she sees you as a viable sex partner and not a fling.

You see so many posts on AskTRP about guys lamenting the fact that she doesn't want to see him again despite their 1st date going so well, even if it ended in a lay. Did it really? If she doesn't want to see you again after the 1st date, you either went too hard(too much of a player vibe and made her feel cheap), or went too soft(bored her or were unattractive to her).

It's why from my experience, the best first dates don't involve fucking or even kissing. There is some small escalation - enough to make my intentions known and show I am not a pussy, but restrained enough not to activate her ASD and give her wanting more. My first dates are more about being fun and connecting with her on an emotional level. It's her emotions that will want her to come back to you, not fucking her, not being attractive. If you are boring and play it too safe, her emotions won't be affected. But if you play with her emotions too much(as I did with Ashley) she will see you as a jerk and a player(and not in a good way). You need to connect with her emotions, be exciting, give her a roller coaster. Then, when she wants to see you again for a 2nd date, then you can unleash yourself, because her ASD shield is down and you have gained her trust.

Conclusion

Dread, while a powerful tool in your arsenal, won't be effective until you have her hooked. If you deploy it too soon, it will work against you and it will be hard to gain her trust. Be patient. Think of it like an RPG, and how you have to be a certain level to use a powerful weapon. Gaming women is no different. Dread only works once you have achieved a certain level with a woman.