Last January, after my last break up with a stupid woman, I started lifting. I've been hitting the gym, three times a week, 1 hour lifting, 1 hour cardio. Then I do a boot camp once a week. I go to bed early and get up early. I was in the shower and just yesterday and the dark thoughts came up - "you're alone, your ex-wife cheated because you're worthless, you're half a father to your children," and I now have the strength to tell that shit to shut the fuck up. I'm not out here blowing happy sunshine up everyone's ass, but I'm finding my strength for the first time in my life. Even on my rest day I walked 5 miles.

Positive thinking is a real thing. The law of attraction is bullshit (IE think of stuff you want and it happens), you get out of life what you put into it. For too long, I lived life the wrong way. I wanted comfort. I married the wrong person, because they were comfortable. I got a job that was easy, despite being low pay, because I was comfortable. The only thing that worked out with my comforts was a large bitcoin buy I made on a whim awhile ago, but that's akin to hitting a scratch off ticket in a way. I just thought the idea of future money was cool, bought a bunch, and forgot about it.

My point is, if you're comfortable, you are failing. I want the pain now. I used to run from it, but now I understand it as the force that makes me stronger. It makes me better. I used to shy away from diet and exercise, and now I want to lift until my arms fall off. GIVE ME THE FUCKING VEGGIES. There are some corny songs out there about "beautiful depression." It is comfortable. Saying "I'm a piece of shit and I give up," is the easiest thing you can do.

Eliminate comfort from all areas of your life. Make depression your bitch.

Edit: Should have mentioned - I was clinically depressed. I went to a doctor and they tried to get me to take meds. When I was splitting from my ex-wife, one of the things she lambasted me with was "you're a useless depressed shit that won't even help himself." Which was true. I didn't want to take the medication. My uncle had done so about 10 years back and it didn't help. He killed himself.