Prone to negative thoughts? Acknowledge, Learn And Move On (ALAMO)

thewrightstuff88 · 2016-01-04T15:22:29+00:00

GREAT post, little things like ALAMO can help keep you grounded.

If I could add anything, it's to always stay grounded in the present. If you keep thinking about past indiscretions/mistakes, you will always be depressed. If you keep thinking about future endeavors and are nervous of them, you will always be anxious.

If you find yourself in either state, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and reminded yourself to stay grounded in the present. Ask yourself, "what am I doing right now?" For instance, you may be meeting a girl for drinks tonight and you think about it and your anxiety kicks in (thinking about the future), however, you are currently studying/reading a book. Ask yourself, "what am I doing right now?" and acknowledge that you are reading a book and get back into your current state. Same thing applies when you are thinking about the past.

TwinPheasant · 2016-01-04T17:20:23+00:00

I remember when I was less confident than I am now, I tended to talk to myself from my secondary voice, in that, rather than saying "I am not doing this", I would speak to myself as if I was somebody else, i.e. "You are not doing this". The reason is obvious, now I look back at it, it was easier to cede responsibility to some other force within me than to acknowledge that there is, ultimately, only one voice in my head, one person, one entity responsible for every choice that I make. My negative thoughts therefore arose from the male hamster, in that I found it easier to relinquish responsibility to the other me, and allow myself to suffer as a consequence.

One massive power move in my progression has been to always refer to everything I do by taking possession of my actions: I, Me, and My are the words that I use, so as to fully understand that everything I did or did not do had origins in a choice, or a number of choices, that I made. This enabled me to look back at things and analyse them more deeply, rather than living in a feminine way, whereby I got emotional and told myself that I really could not have helped myself. While it is true that some things are instinctive and can be neither prevented nor undone, I progressed by taking responsibility for all the things that I have done or have not done, and choosing not to judge myself but to learn from myself.

Perhaps this is not something that adds to this discussion, but I thought I'd relieve myself of these thoughts as a form of catharsis, from the time when I was unable to prevent myself from taking the path of greatest self-destruction, before hating and deriding myself for having done so. My point is that one can choose one's thoughts more easily by understanding the extent to which we are each responsible for them. Every thought has a stimulus. Every impulse arises from something that can be understood, and when it can be understood, it can be changed.

Red_Swords · 2016-01-04T20:10:38+00:00

Good post.

As someone that's always leaned more towards a depressive personality, internal game/frame/self-sabotage has collectively been my biggest sticking point by far, and something that requires constant effort and focus.

I'm not trying to fluff it up to sound harder than it is, but I really think that unless someone has personally had to deal with constant, long-term, pathological, negative thought patterns, that it's almost impossible to truly understand the difficulty in correcting it and getting yourself into a good headspace.

As for the content itself, I agree, the first step is admitting that you fucked up, and that you would do it differently if you had the chance.

But add to what you've already said, I've found it personally helpful to take a step back from whatever project you fucked up, and legitimately ask yourself:

"Okay. So what will this affect, and how significant of a difference will it make?"

Then,

"What remains unchanged and functional, and am I still on-track towards fulfilling my central goal?"

In my experience, after asking myself these two questions I'm able to see that 90% of my failures are insignificant in the grand scheme of things, anyways.

I think that the biggest set-back in a failure or a defeat usually isn't the action itself, but rather, the mental turmoil and psychological self-abuse that can take place when we disappoint ourselves, and fail to live up to our own explanations.

Marble202 · 2016-01-04T14:41:41+00:00

I needed this, thank you brother.

zxsteven · 2016-01-04T19:58:23+00:00

"Don't look back, you're not headed that way."

One way to practice and internalize this idea is taking cold showers. Naturally you think it's too cold, and automatically freeze and take no action, however once you get in, you realize, this was no where near as bad as you thought it was. Try this every day for a week and see how your perception changes.

Once you can get over the roadblock of your own mind, it shouldn't be hard to apply this concept to other aspects you might experience in the future, i.e. talking to women, new jobs, activities, etc.

Koalasonfire · 2016-01-04T16:00:19+00:00

This is actually what I've been doing, somewhat. I have ocd and I will sometimes stress over one little thing for hours until I have perfectly evaluated what happened. I get the thoughts to go away by doing a sort of "nobody cares, you're making a big deal of nothing" and thinking about what I could have done to avoid it. This is just a more organized version of it, appreciate this.

This_is_not_my_face · 2016-01-04T20:06:43+00:00

Really needed thank you brother

entelechy_ · 2016-01-04T21:44:37+00:00

ALAMO city resident representing, wanted to say thanks for giving me an excuse to say it more often!

Transmigratory · 2016-01-04T21:52:55+00:00

IMO learning mindfulness helps.

billcosbyeatsbabies · 2016-01-05T03:37:49+00:00

ALAMO, i fucking love it. i learned to use this technique after a few bad trips, strangely enough. my mindset would focus on the negative and my only coping strategy was to tell myself "alright, fuck! that was shitty, i fucked that up. i shouldn't have come on so strong to that girl. why am i even focusing on this? it happened months ago, i doubt she even remembers it. but you know what? we will work on it, and do better next time. and if we dont do better next time at least i tried, so i'll just practice until its perfect".

this little technique has kept me from going completely fucking insane, and im glad you came up with an acronym for it. beautiful. solid post.

Lurker_IV · 2016-01-05T04:46:29+00:00

This is a well known meditation technique for dealing with negative emotions and thoughts. You seem to have rediscovered it on your own.

ALAMO is a clever way to explain the process. I like it.

Just google "meditation name your emotion" for hundreds of articles to learn more.

bonerfleximus · 2016-01-06T03:06:50+00:00

Dude not racist enough. Add some color to this shit

Dsdcimyc · 2016-01-06T08:57:29+00:00

I tend to be an overthinker. I realized I need to do the following:

get busy
think less

It works.

garlicextract · 2016-01-04T18:47:45+00:00

Not even sure you have to learn. Obviously you should, but 'acknowledge and move on' by itself is far more healthy than dwelling on a fuckup.

Exogyra_Ponderosa · 2016-01-04T18:23:07+00:00

Very interesting process, seems worth trying out.

Eugenics2015 · 2016-01-05T01:26:25+00:00

Rumination kills me. Unfortunately its not something can actually change (i've tried) so the obvious solution is to be so air-tight that I never embarrass myself.

RedLivesMatter · 2016-01-05T03:31:16+00:00

I always remember The Alamo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cHLoHou8uY

peruvianlurker · 2016-01-05T09:04:33+00:00

I like it a lot. Simple idea. People with depression and anxiety might find it useful to apply. I Voach this for Sticky or Sidebar material.

KorianHUN · 2016-01-05T18:51:09+00:00

As a new TRP follower i really needed this too.

I was always scared of doing anything and overthought it instead of just doing it. While this happened a lot, i used to think [ insert any blue pill bullshit here ] too so now it makes sense now.

SleepySandal · 2016-01-04T22:33:41+00:00

Thank you for this post, it shows how far you have come. I still have a long way to go.

thorlovesloki · 2016-01-05T13:05:07+00:00

I've used ALAMO very effectively for several years. In higher stress situations I try and do this as the situation is unfolding.

Title	Prone to negative thoughts? Acknowledge, Learn And Move On (ALAMO)
Author	TwinPheasant
Upvotes	322
Comments	26
Date	January 4, 2016 2:00 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3zevhy/prone_to_negative_thoughts_acknowledge_learn_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/prone-to-negative-thoughts-acknowledge-learn-and.55068 https://theredarchive.com/post/55068

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