I’ve become that guy

DangZagnut · 2019-11-12T00:38:35+00:00

You lose 100% of the hands you fold.

Of course, I leave relationships I won’t win, but it sounds like you are, as they say, pot committed.

My sympathies, you don’t win every hand you’re dealt.

Elkukuy13 · 2019-11-12T00:35:48+00:00

You know what your mistakes are!! Why would you continue to play with her shit test!! Stop being that guy have the guts to say no!!!

RedCBR900 · 2019-11-12T00:45:37+00:00

buy a testicle, say no, she'll like it.

Mikeytikey123 · 2019-11-12T01:25:19+00:00

I agree. Getting good means getting hated. They are literally the same thing. There is no such thing as a good liked dude. A good dude is strongly disliked but cannot be pushed in any way.

gtowerthrowaway · 2019-11-12T03:43:50+00:00

Yeah I was like this 15 years ago. And then one day I looked at myself in the mirror, fat whiny loser, and decided I would reclaim my life.

And I have.

To skip to the end, these days I have a great job, I'm stronger at 50 than 99% of 20 year olds, and when the wife bitches, I tell her she knows where to find the goddam door. Meanwhile, I'm biding my time while I lay down resources to escape while ensuring I give my sons the best upbringing I can.

There is hope brother, but only if you're willing to do what it takes.

RagingHardBull · 2019-11-12T01:09:19+00:00

Yeah bro, you've gotta take command of the relationship.

2019-11-12T01:16:59+00:00

Just say no and ignore the nagging. Why argue even? The better solution is just to ignore her and do something more interesting. They hate it when you ignore them.

And if she treatens to take away sex, you just say: "Well, sucks for you then because I was about to fuck your brains out. Ow well, you wouldn't have been able to handle it anyway as always." Or something of that nature.

Patricijaobjectdude · 2019-11-12T04:19:32+00:00

Women are masters of manipulation, they say.

What is their strategy? Bitch, nag and complain. Just like a fucking child.

They only get to have it their way because they voted for you to not be able to raise your pimp hand.

Abusing-Green · 2019-11-12T02:48:23+00:00

Terribly sorry to hear about your circumstances sir, and i hope you may yet still find peace in the path you find yourself on.

But even more thank you for the advice, too many bitter men would lie and spin fantastic tales about their lives to pull others into their same suffering so they dont feel so bad with their choices.

Thank you for the insight that when we give an inch it just means we lose a mile later and neither an inch nor a mile will be enough for them.

tommygun1688 · 2019-11-12T05:43:06+00:00

So as a younger(ish) guy, with no kids and no wife, can you seriously say there's no benefit to the nuclear family? I'm actually curious.

I've been working on myself a lot the last few years, getting healthy, strengthening myself mentally, etc. And I've been through the hell of a woman breaking my heart. But, there's still that part of me that thinks maybe I should look for a nice woman, try and start a family. Then I just hear more fucked up shit about married or divorced guys getting a raw deal. I'm on the verge of resigning myself to just hooking up with the occasional gal and saying fuck it to marriage.

yawp1 · 2019-11-12T00:44:11+00:00

Understand. Been in exactly the same place.

Keep coming here. Read up on the good stuff, leave the rest.

You're among friends. Don't forget that.

kfree313 · 2019-11-12T01:16:44+00:00

Gotta stop caring how she feels and learn to tell her no . Seriously, start doing things you know will tick her off such as doing what you want . She’ll be ok

hrm0894 · 2019-11-12T01:33:49+00:00

My teenage self would hate to see what I've become. Little does he know. Oh well, all for the better.

ncarolina66 · 2019-11-12T04:11:55+00:00

The bad news for you is that by doing this, she will grow to despise you and probably go out and cheat as well. I'm sure you're saying you are there for the kids. Great, like most fathers you are trying to do the right thing.

Free advice: See a lawyer NOW, get your money slowly out of the bank (think of creative ways to "spend" the money to tell her) and into a safe place (NOT a safe deposit box however as her lawyer can supeona that and get to it), do what you have to to secure your finances. Maybe put a key logger on her phone/laptop to catch her cheating, use video if you can (so you can video her lying about you hitting her, and you beating the kids, etc. BULLSHIT) because I can assure you one day you will wake up to a "Dear John" letter and she will have divorce papers ready for you.

If you are prepared, (as in the above) you will be ready, if you don't take this advice you will be fucked.

Take the advice.

strainer123 · 2019-11-12T05:31:36+00:00

You can still divorce, tell her to go fuck herself and leave, do the math, consult a lawyer, but you can leave, there's a steep price to pay, but it might be cheaper than staying and letting her henpeck you to death.

jhooperp · 2019-11-12T08:15:00+00:00

When I was a kid I remember talking to an adult male, family friend, about why sleep on the couch (I overheard him telling someone else that he’s in “the dog house still” and his wife makes him sleep on the couch) just because his wife won’t let him sleep in the bed if he paid for it. He told me that he does it because he just gets tired of her arguing with him. I said well you paid for it and if she doesn’t want to be in the same room as him then he should stay in the bed and let her ass go sleep on the couch.

I’ll never forget what he said “you don’t understand, you’ll see when you get older”. And replied that it’s ridiculous that men have to do what women say and he said he thought the same way when he was my age (I was about 12).

Anyway to this day I’ll never sleep on a couch just because someone else who sleeps in my bed doesn’t want to be near me. I’m in my 30s and I’m happily single. I’ll never be “in the dog house”. Some people have told me “well that’s why you’re single”. To which I always reply “exactly”.

Resplendent_Fervor · 2019-11-12T00:35:20+00:00

Papa is that you

Tylerxbaker · 2019-11-12T04:41:01+00:00

Dude, if you ever want to be happy you are going to need to make a life for yourself and stop making it about people pleasing. That’s what you’re doing: you’re people pleasing.

The only people you need to focus on right now are YOU and your children. But you NEED to make time for you.

Tell your wife no, and if she wants to argue, go into the other room. If she comes in and wants to keep fighting, be polite and just tell her your not down for it. Remember, that cycle isn’t ever going to stop until YOU break it.

Go down some things for yourself. Go hang out with friends, go work out at the gym, go to a movie, visit some relatives, go to a game, or even just watch a movie or play some video games. Do stuff for yourself and put some distance between you two.

You will only continue to be miserable if you continue being miserable. You will find happiness when you decide to stop being miserable.

But set those damn boundaries with your crazy ass wife. She isn’t ever gonna learn until you break the cycle of doing everything she says.

sept62019 · 2019-11-12T13:13:56+00:00

Plan to get out and start living

BastaHR · 2019-11-12T13:40:43+00:00

It's reasonable assumption that nagging will stop if you do what she asks, but that never happens.

noobahoi · 2019-11-12T16:39:56+00:00

Take care of the children but get a divorce and move on. GYOW

phrackrat · 2019-11-12T05:10:02+00:00

Life is a series of iterative games. Play to win the long game and dont stress about the small losses. Unwinnable games, as I learned from the movie WarGames "the only way to win is not not play."

attongirdeaux · 2019-11-12T05:22:36+00:00

Yup. Ill echo this, for those of us who are married and its cheaper to keep her, DO NOT GET MARRIED. I make easily 6 figures and my standard of living is worse now compared to when I was single and made barely $40k.

FewStretch · 2019-11-12T05:28:05+00:00

Thanks for the reminder to get a vasectomy. And I'm sorry to hear about your plight...hang in there as best you can.

legalquestion4545 · 2019-11-12T05:50:07+00:00

lmfao then be a winner and divorce her. Whats stopping you? a moist hole? go buy it once a month.

I_am_Groot69 · 2019-11-12T06:56:53+00:00

Sometimes I wonder what if you are extremely career oriented, like 80 hour work week and bring way more than your spouse, will that keeps nagging to a minimum? Can someone elaborate?

mgtowyoungdude · 2019-11-12T08:22:23+00:00

Matter of time until she cheats i guess lol

JayCraeful0351 · 2019-11-12T11:12:43+00:00

thats why you need to make a ton of money and have maids and assistants, that way what ever girl you end up with is happy as can be, and you never have to lift a finger.

NibblyPig · 2019-11-12T14:30:00+00:00

You need to read No More Mr Nice Guy, it'll save your relationship

Gutsybuckel · 2019-11-12T15:27:24+00:00

I know this isn't what you want to hear and is easier said that done, but brother, you need to cut your loses. Just reading your post, I can feel your pain and depression. I don't think you're going to last much longer putting up with this. Either stand up to her or walk away, but you need to correct this situation ASAP.

MrMagtow · 2019-11-12T04:26:58+00:00

OP, you're a weak man and you know it. Even you hate living like that, you accept it.

You're a slave, you live a slave's life. She shit tests you constantly and you fail. She's probably having sex with 2 other men, and if you're unlucky enough to sleep with her, she'll give you her STDs - but you'll accept it.

How is this a life worth living? You would be happier if you just get a divorce, rip the band-aid off quickly. Give her everything and walk away. At least you won't be completely miserable like you are.

2019-11-12T11:11:58+00:00

The best time to prepare for divorce is when she doesn't even know you're preparing for divorce. You can spend that time recording everything, and possibly even bait her into threatening you or the kids. If you're cunning enough, and savage enough, it's possible you can get out of this, and keep the kids.

Title	I’ve become that guy
Author	socalking3
Upvotes	205
Comments	79
Date	November 12, 2019 12:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dv1wly/ive_become_that_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/ive-become-that-guy.647672 https://theredarchive.com/post/647672

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