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I am the wife in my marriage - maybe victim puke?

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April 20, 2020
8 upvotes

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Post Information
Title I am the wife in my marriage - maybe victim puke?
Author TheBetAwakening
Upvotes 8
Comments 22
Date 20 April 2020 06:29 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/655918
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/g4ydp2/i_am_the_wife_in_my_marriage_maybe_victim_puke/
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[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

Approved. Fresh meat, fellas.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her cheating early in is the least of your worries, and did she really cheat or were you not exclusive with her yet? You’re very vague here, and you don’t say how long you’ve been together, which would give a lot of context.

This feels like yet another troll post, so I’m going to keep it short and to the point.

  • So, you woke up at 40 and found that you don’t have much going for you.

    OK, well, get it going then

[–]MrTrizzles5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do you want out of life? You never mentioned that, so I assume you don’t even know.

Find a mission and get to it. It will automatically give your life structure. Everything, even the small shit, will have a value assigned to it and will naturally fall into a hierarchy of value based on every individual thing’s relationship to your mission.

Right now you’re just treading water with nowhere to go. No goals, no structure, no destination.

Your woman wants to make you her world. But your world is boring and in stasis. There’s little security or comfort for her there, let alone excitement. Fix that and it will go a long ways towards fixing the relationship.

And lift.

[–]TheBetAwakening0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this is good. And I don't completely have no skills. I went to college for graphic design. I've been totally focused on my kids for 10 years, totally focused on my wife prior and the past month, so I am trying to turn some focus on myself I came here because I do need a bit of an ass kicking to get going.

[–]threekindsoflucky5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't imagine reaching 40 but retaining the mentality of a 20 year old.

Start asking the right questions.

[–]UltimateCrypto2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are you going to do when the economy inevitably crashes? The dominoes are falling and bankruptcy’s are just starting.

Time to pull your balls out of your vagina and figure out how you’re going to keep your family safe. Start an online business. Get some weights and get in shape. Buy a gun and learn how to shoot it. Then hire a cute assistant.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to pull your balls out of your vagina

awesome lmao

[–]part_wolf2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife of 16 years I just found out cheated on me very early on in our dating.

If you were both just dating at the time and you have no reason to suspect that she broke your wedding vows, this really doesn't mean anything at this point. However, it does explain why your wife doesn't respect you - women are not capable of respecting a cuckold, even if you weren't aware that it happened.

Unfortunately, you married a whore. At this point, there's probably no action you can take that will have a positive result.

So while I've gone through the motions, I've spent the past few weeks grilling her, and I don't entirely believe she's ever done this again as she was at a very insecure time when I met her

She wasn't honest with you when this encounter happened. Why would she be honest with you now?

Also, what do you mean by "going through the motions" and "grilling her"?

Mostly now I'm telling myself it was a long time ago, we'd just started dating, she was different, move on

You need to be honest with yourself here. Are you simply rationalizing her behavior away? If so, you're sacrificing your own self-respect and gunning for a whole bunch of problems later on down the road.

This is all about your insecurities, not about your wife. Are you capable of accepting the fact that you married a dishonest whore?

As such, Im not sure she's aware or perceptive enough to pick up on subtleties of dread game...

This is flawed thinking. Women are highly attuned to interloping women when it comes to a partner they desire. The real question is, are you a high enough value male to actually generate dread with your wife? If not, it means you have zero power in the relationship. That sucks.

Best of luck trying to figure out what you want.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

However, it does explain why your wife doesn't respect you - women are not capable of respecting a cuckold, even if you weren't aware that it happened.

That's very insightful. Kudos.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

SAHDs get, and deserve, no respect unless they

  • keep themselves highly attractive by being fit, ripped, dressing well, and attracting attention from other women. You must be the man the neighborhood wives gaze after, flirt with, and fantasize about.

  • show high social value through charismatic leadership such as PTA President, head coach of kids' sport teams, organizing and leading activities or home-schooling groups with other parents and kids, and leadership in community volunteer groups.

  • totally own and lead in caring for and developing their kids.

  • own maintaining the household, by setting and enforcing the standards and holding rock-solid frame as to their correctness, and doing the work to operate and maintain the household to those standards.

  • bring additional value through home-improvement projects.

You have to AMOG and lead your household and your social circles. If you're just babysitting your kid, and just keeping the house clean, you show no more value than a new assistant employee at a daycare or a cleaning service, which are very low status, low pay jobs; your wife is treating you accordingly. Would your high-quality wife marry or fuck such a guy? If not, don't be that guy.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're more naive than coachdad8.

  • I'm sure there's some statistics supporting the idea that if your wife cheated on you once, the likelihood she'll cheat on you again is about 500% higher.
  • She didn't fuck that dude because she was insecure, she fucked him because she wanted to fuck him, because women like sex, but sex with you wasn't satisfying.

So how long ago are we talking? 15 years, 11 months, and 12 days?

I modeled when I was younger and always found myself with a well-to-do woman who would buy me whatever and such, thus there was never a necessity to develop career building skills

Great. There's your answer. You're still a child. That's likely why she's always cheating on you.

rant, rant, gross, disgusting, houwewife, wokeup, feminist, gay...

That's disgusting.

Part of me is pissed about this because I had options and opportunities with side women and didn't take them to do stuff - now I kinda wish I had, and part hurt.

Pissed and hurt. We don't get that much around here.

So the sex had gone nonexistent and cold between us because to her, sex was more of a need to be validated/quell insecurities through male attention, rather than an act of actual pleasure - I even bought her a vibrator about 10 years ago hoping it would get her going and she never even touched it.

Okay, the "gay" comment had been just for fun. But are you gay? Either way your wife finds you every bit as effete and unattractive as your compelling personal journalism suggests you are.

But one step at a time - I love my wife, but is my moving on a bitch move or the rational move?

Are you actually intending to follow the guidance given and, should we, abject strangers all, tell you to move on and leave your wife, will you do so?

[–]Rogue684863 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the side bar. Aka Community Info on the upper right of your phone after the hitting 3 dots.

Start reading. STFU in general. Lift something heavy if you can get to it.

You've got it all backward.

[–]ancient_resistanceShit coming out my eyeballs5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I modeled when I was younger and always found myself with a well-to-do woman who would buy me whatever and such, thus there was never a necessity to develop career building skills...so I just woke up to my life as 40, stay at home dad, no career, cold marriage, been totally buried by my kids.

Jesus christ man, what the fuck did you expect all those years? Do you really think women are attracted to men who let them pay for everything while you stay at home with the kids doing all the cooking and cleaning? And youre surprised she cheated once?? The way you describe things I'd be surpised if she wasn't choking down Chad's cock every other night.

I'm in pretty good shape, just started hitting the heavy bag again, biking, I think I still look pretty good,

Lift stats?

she is stubborn and sort of naturally cold. As such, Im not sure she's aware or perceptive enough to pick up on subtleties of dread game...

So it's not your game that sucks, it's her fault for not picking up on it. Right.

You have a long road ahead of you. STFU, sidebar, lift, repeat.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you should ask her if letting the past go is a beta move or a mentally strong move.

[–]Cl_ARK1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife of 16 years I just found out cheated on me very early on in our dating

Ever considered marketing beard oil?

[–]Redrover8574 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

“I think it was get drunk and just lay there for the guy” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha run hamster run. No. That’s not at all what happened. Just accept it. His cum running down her face with her tongue out. Fingering her ass while he fucked her from behind. Even though she always tell you she hates butt stuff. That’s the kind of shit that happened.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

run hamster run

lmao

[–]Fabulous-Craft0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The kids even yours?

[–]Balls_Wellington_Main Event + Coronavirus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is letting this go a beta move or a mentally strong move

You needing us to tell you whether or not this is a strong move should be all the evidence you need.

I think it was get drunk and just lay there

Sounds like you are trying to make yourself feel better. Maybe she did just lie there. Maybe she moaned like a camel while he stuffed his dick in her ass. It was good enough to make it into the journal.

The fact is, you have no frame. You want to borrow ours for a few hours to make some decisions because you don't believe in yourself to make a call on your own. Can you live with this? Do you want to? Make your own choices.

I want you to focus on the fact that everything you've posted here relates to how to make your wife treat you better. That's not frame, it's being a dancing monkey. You are, right now, drawing up a contract in your mind that "If I get a career, run some game, and get fit, my wife will notice me, treat me with warmth and love, and fuck me like a pornstar."

Life doesn't work like that. Women have a sixth sense for covert contracts like that. Then, when she doesn't follow the terms, you'll get butthurt and blow it. Instead of demonstrating that you're a valuable man with options, you will show her just how strongly you view her as Your Only Option. She'll see that all of this working out and job searching and affection has been you desperately trying to impress her, and she will understand just how much more valuable she is than you. And She. Will. Hate. You. For. It.

Improve yourself for yourself or don't even bother. Work toward your vision (and develop a fucking vision, we both know you don't have one yet) or don't bother working at all. Doing it for anyone but you is just spinning your wheels.

[–]Ireallyamtheprize-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you worry about that, you are a bitch.

If you had options, didn't give a fuck at all, and were doing whatever is best for you, would you be worrying if that was a bitch move and asking internet strangers about it?

Hell, if I wasn't a bitch like that, would I be sitting here on this toilet typing this shit to you or would I be having fun teasing and fucking my girl?

[–]Balls_Wellington_Main Event + Coronavirus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even alphas gotta shit.



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