Adopted/fostered kids and blood-family rights

cloudydays84 · 2020-04-28T18:22:11+00:00

I mean adoption is a complex situation that involves a lot of important players and information. It's not as easy as most people think it is to just give up a chile (for some it is) and to take one in. The systems we have in ace for adoption aren't as good as the can be be.

The issue is multifaceted and I have a hard time siding with one specific person/group because I know emotions run high. An adopted kid that wants to reach out to their parents are obviously doing so for a reason, maybe emotionally to connect and get closure, or maybe even for pragmatic reasons (not to say emotional ones aren't) like to see if there are any family ailments that they should be on the lookout for.

But at the same time, the parents had to go through the process of giving up a child and choosing/asking to not be contacted afterwards, they did so for a reason as well, maybe emotionally or maybe pragmatically.

At that point I would say that the privacy of an individual(s) would supersede that of the child. I know it's fucked because they obviously want to see their parents but I don't think we should force them to or shame them for not wanting to.

It's not a 1 to 1 thing but there are several stories of birth parents trying to reenter the life of a child they had given up. And some of those stories are heart warming reunions, but something the child wants nothing to do with their birth parents, and rightfully so if that's their choice. I wouldn't make to make the child connect to their parent(s) so in the same sense I wouldn't want to make the parents connect to their child.

AutoModerator · 2020-04-28T17:57:15+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ThisIsMyAccount135 · 2020-04-28T18:09:39+00:00

The kid can't become the legal Child of the biological parents if they sign away their parental rights. However there's nothing stopping the kid from reaching out and talking to his kids I guess

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-04-28T18:35:17+00:00

[deleted]

poppy_blu · 2020-04-28T23:16:25+00:00

I think that should be a condition for financial abortion. You give up any and all parental rights. If the kid wants to come find you when they’re an adult fine but you don’t get to have your cake and eat it to. And when you’re old and alone and heartbroken when you don’t have anyone to take care of you, you might just regret having been selfish (or just not using a condom).

Pola_Lita · 2020-04-29T09:04:14+00:00

It's not "suddenly" okay. AFAIK, it's been okay as long as adoption has been legal. Due to the social pressures and damage even up to 50 or so years back, I can understand the intent behind allowing parents to even avoid the biological connection when giving a child up for adoption. Now, I think it's not only unnecessary, it's morally wrong.

misiepatysie · 2020-04-29T10:25:45+00:00

I always thought the fathers should have the right to opt out of fatherhood, same as mothers have the right to abort. That said, I do belive a child given up for adoption should not have the means to reach out to bio faily against the bio-parents wishes. The only thing that should be provided is the bio-parents medical history (and it should be anonymus).

nosynobody · 2020-04-28T18:30:00+00:00

I don't think you get to "opt out" once the kid is born. Honestly that thread enraged me. How dare they pretend this living breathing feeling person just disappear because the parents feel its inconvenient to acknowledge their mistake

IWTKMBATMOAPTDI · 2020-04-28T18:05:35+00:00

What's your opinion on an adopted/fostered child coming back to reach out to the family against the bio-parents wishes?

Can you explain this? The biological parents that gave up the kid want to prevent the kid from reaching out to the adopted family? How does that work? This seems backwards?

DeuxPistolets · 2020-04-28T18:47:01+00:00

I agree 100% with the adopted kid. I think his biological parents were first class pieces of sh**. I’m glad that members of his biological family took him in and sided with him over the parents.

Do you get to have a child and just “give him up for adoption” at 11 years old and rip him away from his siblings, grandparents, and cousins too? Strip him of his identity and discard him him like he was nothing?

He isn’t a dog. He’s not “property”. He isn’t a dog that you can simply give up for adoption. What those biological parents did at 11 years old was horrible. They are disgusting for how they reacted when he reached out to them too.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-04-28T18:14:05+00:00

The adopted kid should not have continued contact with the bio parents once they made it known he was not going to be a part of the family.

2020-04-28T20:16:56+00:00

When a woman is involved, she is allowed to do as she pleases with a child. When a man wants to make a sole decision about a child, on his own, he is stripped of that right because he's a man.

Nothing more to it, we still live in a sexist, racist and hypocritical world that's convinced itself it's changed so they don't have to acknowledge shit like this.

It shouldn't be this way, of course, but it just is.

LittyKitsune · 2020-04-28T19:55:01+00:00

Adoptive parents are usually well-off and don't need financial support to raise a child.

A single mom is a different story. It's all about the $, not some vague concept of "the child deserves a father."

Title	Adopted/fostered kids and blood-family rights
Author	WicGoingAnonymous
Upvotes	3
Comments	75
Date	April 28, 2020 5:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g9s1nl/adoptedfostered_kids_and_bloodfamily_rights/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/adoptedfostered-kids-and-blood-family-rights.657321 https://theredarchive.com/post/657321

Comments