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lillunaindica
[–]VerysoftbunFDS Newbie141 points142 points143 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel like I've had a hard time explaining why I'm ok being single and this is it. I like spending time alone and when I find people I want to spend time with I'm happy and upfront/vulnerable about it without being needy of their time (because I respect them). When it's clear that they aren't interested I let them go. And when it's clear they're playing games or there's clearly hesitancy, I let them go. Because I respect them and want them to take their decisions seriously. I'm happy to return myself back to myself.
[–]discretevalorFDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
People who are comfortable being alone are looking to complement their lives, not have you complete it. All women should become comfortable being alone before dating—because you’ll realize that putting up with terrible behavior isn’t better to being single. And us women should always seek the same of our partners, so they don’t expect us to pick up the slack in their lives.
[–]DaneShookFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Preach! I’ve found that soooo many men do not like to be alone and that is alarming to me. Do you not like yourself enough to be by yourself for more than 5 minutes? I’d like to be in a relationship with a man that has been single for at least a year.
[–]sofiacarolinaFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points 3 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
This def applies to women but not to men imo. Men that are comfortable being single are usually emotionally unavailable, unwilling/afraid to commit, and just wanna use women for sex in my experience.
Edit: Obv there is a difference between being comfortable being single and preferring it/the bachelor lifestyle, and ofc we want partners who are healthy enough to be on their own but...men distort everything lol. I feel like Comfortable being single is the goal and empowering af for a woman but when it comes to a man it means comfortable being a player lol
[–]Pumpkinhead82FDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bingo.
[–]kwalden2FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Here's the deal: male players/cheaters/eternal bachelor's aren't necessarily comfortable being single. They want a woman or multiple women to be exclusive to them while not having to return the favor. I don't know what their nonsense even is, but it's not being secure and comfortable on your own.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They want all the relationship benefits without the responsibility. It's not a fear of commitment; it's a fear of responsibility.
[–]sofiacarolinaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very true
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is kinda what I struggle with. My ex, who I think is an LVM, has a very take it or leave it mentality. He doesn’t “need” anyone. He values his independence over anything else. In fact, I’ve never been with someone who is so afraid to “losing” their independence. Looking back on our breakup it feels like he was emotionally unavailable and unwilling to commit. The moment I asked for more effort, he bailed on me 4 days later.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My ex did the same thing. He couldn't didn't understand sacrifice or compromise. Everything had to be his way, or somehow it was an infringement on his "independence". If you want to be so goddamn independent, why are you with me?! Just be single forever and leave all of us alone! But what does he do? Cling to another girl as soon as we broke up. Smh.
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh fuck, that sucks. I’m sorry sis. Our exes sound similar. Ironically I never once kept him from friends or doing his own thing but he still craved that independence. You’re right - why be with someone if you’re so damn independent. I’m independent too (whoopdy-doo) but I’m not so afraid of losing it because I know it will always be there. I just prefer to spend time with ya know...my partner...kinda the bare minimum.
[–]xButFirstCoffeexFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude”.
[–]Delicious-ScholarFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How are we defining single? I used to think it had a standard universal definition, but after talking to friends and family, I’ve learned it can mean anything from, not legally married but still dating, talking to, sexing one or multiple people to not actively dating and celibate, and everything in between.
I think this meme has valid points, but men in the past has said they’re single but they’re still getting their emotional and physical needs met. So are they truly happy alone just because someone doesn’t permanently sleep over?
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[–]VerysoftbunFDS Newbie141 points142 points143 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]discretevalorFDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DaneShookFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sofiacarolinaFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pumpkinhead82FDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kwalden2FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sofiacarolinaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xButFirstCoffeexFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Delicious-ScholarFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link