Men will be men?

Flockofpuppies · 2018-09-15T16:27:00+00:00

How about "Men will be men and will be brave and honorable and hard working"?

It's sad that we've associated male traits with shit talking and crude humor.

bambiliftsweights · 2018-09-15T12:13:57+00:00

I really think men will be men, to be honest.

I find it very endearing, to be honest.

I just find it so special that my man is a man’s man when hanging out with his friends but then he comes home and needs his “wife time.”

durtyknees · 2018-09-15T13:23:56+00:00

Just curious of the general consensus

This is something that I've found is part of "women will be women" (among my female friends, anyway) --- always unsure about what to think/feel about something, until either there's a group agreement, or someone in the group speaks convincingly enough to sway the general consensus to her viewpoint :p

Men, as far as I know, don't require any consensus, because they're more inclined to challenge each other's views, or just be accepting of differences.

This means if a woman is friends with women who don't approve of her choice of relationship dynamic, they could influence her into negative consequences for her relationship.

The same do not apply among men who are friends --- not in general, anyway. I've noticed many "men" do have "womanly" traits (those very traits men speak of, when dismissing women: hamstering, fickleness, unreliability, lack of reciprocity, and "nice guy" entitlement issues which I compare to women throwing princess-tantrums).

Not all men are the same, so "men will be men" is (imo) something rabid feminists say, to lump all men into the lowest common denominator, to be sneered at.

Since RPW is not about relationships with men who are representative of the lowest common denominator, this is my opinion:

Don't tolerate male behavior that you can't personally accept in your personal relationship, because "men will be men" is something a rabid feminist would say when they're dismissing men --- and it's not any better when "men will be men" is used as an excuse for behavior/traits that bother you.

However, I think men in a relationship should be given the freedom to be who they are as individuals, and women would be happier accepting a man as he is, instead of trying to make him conform to any expectations --- especially what her female friends tell her should be expected of "a good man" :p

If you find yourself needing to "keep your man in check", then you're effectively mothering him. Granted, some men look to have a wife who could be their second-mother, and praise her for being "nurturing", and some women enjoy that role, but that's mostly in asian cultures, as far as I know.

Pixie0310 · 2018-09-15T14:19:57+00:00

No I don’t think ‘men will be men’ applies everywhere. Yes in certain places probably- America/Australia - however since moving to a central European country I’ve noticed a big reduction in those sorts of jokes and comments.

The men here are very considerate and cultured and I find their refined social graces very attractive.

telltalesass · 2018-09-15T13:43:27+00:00

Some aspects are men being men. They are biologically driven for certain behavior.

With that said. There is a line of respect. Men who respect his first mate will protect the relationship and their woman.

So yes some is to be expected but that doesn’t mean he will intentionally try to hurt you or treat you like a doormat.

Whisper · 2018-09-15T14:58:15+00:00

What men talk about with their male friends is none of your business.

Kara__El · 2018-09-15T13:54:28+00:00

My husband wouldn't make an inappropriate comment to another woman, because he'd consider that to be unfaithful. He also wouldn't call me the ol' ball and chain. Other than that, I'd probably agree with the "boys will be boys" sentiment, but I also think there's a time and a place and a grown man should know that.

justtenofusinhere · 2018-09-15T14:47:23+00:00

I think the consensus here is that a man should not be a woman.

Just because you wouldn't act or speak a certain way, doesn't mean he can't.

immaculacy · 2018-09-20T04:46:12+00:00

"or flirtatious to a woman"

Definitely not this if they are in a relationship with someone else. This is never ok.

FleetingWish · 2018-09-15T17:48:04+00:00

I think you are looking at this on the wrong access. What you're basically asking is "are certain men saying certain things acceptable or unacceptable?" You're trying to figure out whether or not certain behaviors should be tolerated or not.

That is the wrong question to ask.

By categorizing it into acceptable vs nonacceptable, you are putting yourself in charge of his actions. You are (directly or indirectly) putting yourself in the role of the monitor for his actions. This puts you in charge of an aspect of his behavior, which means you have not accepted as him as captain, but more importantly it means that your setting yourself up for confronting the situation in a way that will make him angry and less likely to do what you want. It will make him feel like you are controlling him.

Men do not like being told what they can or cannot do.

Instead of asking yourself if his behaviour is "acceptable" ask instead "does this hurt my feelings?" If the answer is "yes" then bring your captain your problem (ex "It makes me feel insecure when you say these things") and that will let him know that the problem is you don't feel secure. That will allow him to choose how to address it (which may or may not be "stop saying these things") without feeling like he's being made to do something.

If you however approach it as "my girlfriends and I all agreed that I shouldn't accept a relationship where my man flirts in front of me, because I'm worth more than that. So, you need to stop doing that." I can guarrentee you are not going to end up with a happy relationship, and you are not going to get what you needed in the first place, which was to stop feeling insecure.

As a side note: if a man is calling you his "ball and chain" then there are worse problems in your relationship than him talking about you behind your back. Such as he feels like you are controlling him. ("You" not necessarily OP, but anyone this might apply to.)

MissNietzsche · 2018-09-15T22:05:04+00:00

Fuck that.

One of the biggest reasons why I'm dating the man I'm with now is because he isn't like that. He only speaks of me with the upmost respect, and I do the same.

But the part that bothers me most is thinking that flirting with other women is acceptable behavior. Both my partner and I are fiercely monogamous. I find great solace in the fact that I am not conscious of a man more monogamous than him, and he mentioned to me once that "[I] wont even as so much as walk to class with another man".

So, no thank you. My partner knows I respect him so much because of his behavior.

Title	Men will be men?
Author	Pixie0310
Upvotes	8
Comments	44
Date	September 15, 2018 12:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9g0ya2/men_will_be_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/men-will-be-men.67618 https://theredarchive.com/post/67618

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