There has been a theme that I noticed once I started dating men after I gained some confidence. I know that men generally hate women, irrespective of race, that have confidence. They simultaneously detest and admire these women. However, there is this extra layer of vitriol that you face when you are a confident black woman. The hate comes from black men who think that I can't make demands because I am not racially ambiguous/ lighter-skinned, lighter women who want to maintain the color hierarchy and men of other races that want me only at night.

The best thing that happened to me was learning that I did not mind being alone. That took away the power that people had to emotionally manipulate/coerce me into sex/FWB situations. Finally, I came to terms with the fact that I am a cocky/prideful woman. My ancestors that were denied an education could have never imagined who I would have become and I decided to stop shrinking myself to make other people feel better. I AM THE S**T AND I KNOW IT !!!!.