My husband and I (married for under a year) like to be physically playful with each other. He especially has a lot of energy, and sometimes when he pokes, squeezes, hugs, etc. he does it too hard. Never like leaving a mark, but in a way that sometimes is uncomfortable or painful. I was his first girlfriend and I know growing up he physically played around a lot with his brother and still does with some family members. I have told him clearly when something is too rough and he is always apologetic when it happens. I did see this as a potential red flag (and won’t deny that it could be still) and have told him that also. However, since he seems truly apologetic when it’s come up and has gotten much better about it I believe him when he says that he doesn’t intend to make me uncomfortable.

My question is, since he now has a much better idea of how much physically I can handle (admittedly very little), has anyone experienced anything like this with their boyfriends/husbands? I worry that because I’ve asked my husband to cut back on the physical playfulness a lot that he might feel like something’s missing. Also, I can tell he has to actively watch himself sometimes, but I don’t know if that’s sustainable or what might help with him more naturally being gentler if possible. I do really enjoy wresting, playing around, and being affectionate with him, which we still do, but the line between it going from fun to uncomfortable just seems to be very thin and I don’t want to give mixed messages. Thanks!

Edit: Thank you all for the responses, I truly appreciate your perspectives. I tend to worry that small things will get worse and worse over time, so hearing that people have had success with something like this is reassuring. I will make sure to say ‘ow’ consistently but still be kind about it, he really is a wonderful man. Thank you!!!