This Woman is Doing The Lord’s Work by Refusing to help her friend breed with a LVM.

TheOGJammies · 2020-04-08T14:44:16+00:00

AITA for refusing to give my friend my embryos and having a spite baby?

My husband and I ended up freezing some embryos years ago due to medical issues. We used them to have our now 4 children, and we now feel that we have enough. At the time of this conversation, we still had three left over, and we had been debating what to do with them.

Her husband is horrible. They got married before my husband and I met. He's done so many horrible things both in general and to her. I've had so many talks with her about how she deserves better and how unacceptable his actions are.

We're all now in our late 30s, and they are now trying to have kids and can't (because they waited too long at HIS insistence). They're now looking at donor material, and she came to me. Absolutely not. This man shouldn't be a father and definitely not to my at least biological children. I was vague and tried to avoid a real answer. But they pushed too hard on why "we deserve to have all those extra embryos" and I lost my temper a little.

I ended up telling him that I/we think he's a terrible person, in no way should he have children, and she would only get my biological help if she "dropped him" like a diseased fish. Honestly, I hate him so much. This whole thing and the knowledge that we would only get more and more requests for them led us to the decision that we needed to use them ourselves. It worked and we had a single pregnancy.

We've been getting some comments from friends and family that we had a child out of spite and we're not better than anyone we have problems with. I don't know that that's true. We just couldn't destroy them and also couldn't trust anyone else.

Yianna_F · 2020-04-08T14:50:27+00:00

I can't unread this...

I just want to bleach my eyes! I'm so happy she called him out for everything and for being the LVM that he is! Her family and friends are disgusting and enablers that are a big part of the LVM pandemic! 👎

BasieSkanks · 2020-04-08T16:19:33+00:00

I have extremely little pity for women who choose to breed with degenerate men. When you’re shopping for a life partner, you’re also shopping for the future father of your children. Your children don’t get to choose their parents, so you better make sure that you make an informed choice (people can change, and we can’t forsee that, but it seems like this woman knows her friend’s husband is a POS).

PurblWasp · 2020-04-08T16:27:05+00:00

Im saddened that she felt that she NEEDED to use them herself though when she already has 4 kids. No one should judge them for getting rid of them or just. not giving them away to this friend.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-04-08T20:43:47+00:00

I’m over looking across the street and seeing the same LVM who has been breaking quarantine for a month now accept custody of his children. Not everyone should have children.

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-04-08T17:56:28+00:00

I saw this this morning and my face was horrified. The LVM man also kept kicking the can down the road on having children, and this woman’s friend went along with it and is now struggling because she followed his wishes. Not hers. Ladies, if you want children and a man doesn’t want to follow your timeline for completely reasonable, biological reasons, he’s not the guy for you. He should understand and respect your goals and needs.

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kwallio · 2020-04-09T03:41:04+00:00

Everyone sucks here. Her friend for asking for embryos (seriously, I would never), her friends husband for stringing her along, and OP and her husband for not sticking to their orginal plan and having another child just to use up the embryos (wtf).

Title	This Woman is Doing The Lord’s Work by Refusing to help her friend breed with a LVM.
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	69
Comments	17
Date	April 8, 2020 2:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fx7o9n/this_woman_is_doing_the_lords_work_by_refusing_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-woman-is-doing-the-lords-work-by-refusing-to.678744 https://theredarchive.com/post/678744

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