Missing verbal affirmations in my relationship.

dzgata · 2020-04-06T22:31:15+00:00

Men know if they want to marry you by the 6 month mark, so the least he can do is express his love. (Not saying get married at 6 months, but that they KNOW). Literally every straight man ever has told me this. You can have a conversation discussing your concerns. But you’re going to have to face what he actually says and do NOT interpret what he says based on how YOU feel. Only take his words literally.

shade_of_ara · 2020-04-06T21:29:23+00:00

It would take a 15-second conversation with a real HVM to fix this issue immediately. And even then, I'd be sketched out that he has not bothered to figure that out on his own.

He might have come from different norms but that doesn't exempt him from figuring out how to make you feel cared for. Which he should have been doing the whole time, regardless of whether he loves you yet or not.

2020-04-06T19:08:28+00:00

[deleted]

radical__daphne · 2020-04-06T22:54:02+00:00

You're wasting your time with this one.

BrooklynBabe33 · 2020-04-07T02:05:43+00:00

Need the words and the actions

PsychologicalBeat2 · 2020-04-06T18:30:18+00:00

This is very interesting to me from a cultural point of view. I'm not from the west (I'm assuming a large portion of women on this sub are), but in my part of the world, saying "I love you" to someone is a really big deal! In fact, if a guy told me he loved me before the 6-month mark I wouldn't believe him haha.

Now I don't know which country you're from, but it is possible that he considers this to be a significant step. I could be wrong, but with men, I trust their actions first, and words second. So far, his actions show you he is investing in this relationship and that he cares about you. I've had a guy tell me he loved me 5 times a day and he still did me so dirty in the end. I think it might be too early to start questioning this but I'd like to see the perspective of other ladies on this sub as well

Blackishcat27 · 2020-04-06T19:20:18+00:00

I know a lot of people here despise the love language book but I've found some value in it. It sounds like your love language might be verbal affirmation while he is acts of service. Try to learn each other's language. If that doesn't work than re-visit things.

kwalden2 · 2020-04-08T05:27:46+00:00

Does he say other verbal affirmations, leaving only the specific "I love you" to be missing? Are you even sure already that you're in love with him and want to plan a future together? If yes and no respectively, keep him. If the opposite, next him.

pallta · 2020-04-07T03:15:00+00:00

If he shows how much he cares about you, I’d talk to him about it and see if there’s a reason why he’s not verbal. You deserve to be told you’re beautiful /cared for!!! Don’t gas yourself up about that sis :)

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-04-07T04:06:32+00:00

I think it’s worth it to suggest you both do the love languages assessment together, or express that your love language is verbal affirmation. That should be a big enough hint for him, if he truly cares about you he’ll want to express it in the way that means the most to you. I don’t want to come across as giving the ol’ JuST tAlK tO hiM advice, but it shouldn’t hurt to give him a nudge in the right direction.

I’m a big believer that actions are stronger than words, if he works that hard to show affection through acts of service he shouldn’t have a problem adapting to your love style. If he doesn’t then move on.

Title	Missing verbal affirmations in my relationship.
Author	htp5643
Upvotes	25
Comments	15
Date	April 6, 2020 5:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fw2zzy/missing_verbal_affirmations_in_my_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/missing-verbal-affirmations-in-my-relationship.678854 https://theredarchive.com/post/678854

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