Ghosting a guy first after sex

redbirdflies · 2020-03-11T18:19:21+00:00

“Some women here can be harsh”. Actually most of us are just honest and for some it isn’t easy to hear the truth. Most women here are supportive and helpful

That being said, I don’t really understand what you are saying? Are you asking if it’s a good strategy to ghost someone after sex?

nalia1rebel · 2020-03-11T18:23:36+00:00

I'm a little confused here. Why did you ghost him in the first place?

nalia1rebel · 2020-03-11T18:52:25+00:00

If you feel that you have to hurry up and ghost a guy after a hookup just to be sure he won't ghost you first, I don't think you should be hooking up with the dude in the first place.

But if you really don't give a fuck about the dude and just wanted a one night stand, then I don't really see the problem with ghosting. A lot of guys do it all the time with hookups.

VikingPug · 2020-03-11T19:33:49+00:00

I’d ghost him if he didn’t text me until 2 days after sex.

hello-earthlings · 2020-03-11T18:26:54+00:00

"...possibly because they want to fuck again, but there's also the possibility that they're into you."

If all they want to do is fuck again, it's a no from me.

And if there's a possibility that they're into me, it's still a no from me. He waited 2 days after sex to text? And you've been on 7-8 dates? Pass! If I were in your situation, I would sense that he's just not that interested in me. I no longer entertain the "possibility" of someone being into me after that many dates... it really doesn't take that long to figure out if you want to seriously date a person or not.

I think this is a decent strategy for keeping his attention for a while longer, but not a good strategy for if you're looking for a HVM. You said you're not looking for a boyfriend though... so if you just want to keep him interested so that you can have FWB situation with a LVM (because I'm getting LVM vibes) then go forth with this strategy.

Kindly_Cupcake · 2020-03-12T01:16:12+00:00

That seems like a lot of work for one night of sex, especially considering the first time is usually lackluster. No man is going to be able to get me off the first time. It takes a few times to learn my combination!

Was this a power play to string a man along and hurt him in the end, to "one-up" men in general? Sis, your efforts are better spent building yourself up and building an awesome life for yourself. Let the men play stupid games with people's hearts and, in turn, win stupid prizes. Our energy is worth WAY more than that!!

timetofliptables · 2020-03-12T08:20:59+00:00

I’m all for ghosting if a man is rude, abusive, cheating, etc. I can’t get behind it in a scenario where a dude was nice and was making a genuine effort and thought it was going well and then gets ghosted when you’ve used him for sex. I don’t see the point in that. That’s just shitty behavior.

The point is to protect ourselves from dehumanization not participate in it.

Kristeninmyskin · 2020-03-13T00:16:49+00:00

Most of us here fall under the ‘don’t have sex with a man until he’s invested a good deal of time, energy and money and he shows you a clean bill of health and is committed to you’ category.

However, some of the more, let’s say emotionally compartmentalized of us, have the ability to have a FWB situation without catching feelings. From what I can tell, these men are still held to rigid, albeit different standards than HVM we date. They are expected to be STD free, only have sex with one person, treat their lover with respect, not being selfish in bed, respectful of boundaries, etc.

If you just want a FWB relationship with this guy, fine. But do it on your terms and be upfront with him. If you let him Court you, invest in you, have sex with you and then ghost him for no apparent reason, you’re just using what I’m assuming is a HVM for sport and that’s not fair to him.

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