Promise rings

SextMex · 2020-03-07T23:52:15+00:00

As someone who dated as a young teenager and hadn't had a break in dating until I was 30, I do not like the idea. I see from your post history that you are 14. While I'm not against teen dating, I am against teenage monogamy resulting in something like promise rings.

This is the time to focus on friendships, education, family, and hobbies. Soon you may start thinking about a career and college/university. Boys are a distraction from leveling up at ANY age, but especially around this time. No one should be promising anything to a teenage boy. I am going to be 31 and I have seen so many women burned by this. Even the ones who are still with their high-school sweetheart have been burned by it. They get stuck, they settle, they never taste independence, and never fully get to know who they are as an unattached woman. I feel like I missed out on so much by not being single from 14-21. I really think any serious relationship should come AFTER you've found direction and independence in life. Your love life will be so much more fulfilling and you are more likely to end up with a high value man, being High value yourself.

So no, I am not into promise rings as they symbolize giving your future to a boy. Your future is yours, no one else's.

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-03-07T23:41:30+00:00

It's cute if you're like 15 but otherwise it's pretty silly.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-03-07T23:59:12+00:00

I once gave a guy a huge amount of shit for acting really weird about giving me a promise ring. Like it was a big deal and I should be flattered. I said DUDE we're in our mid 20s and in a serious relationship and you're giving me a promise ring?! I ended up dumping him for other shit and trading that cheap ring for something I really liked.

Rockymemorylane · 2020-03-07T23:48:25+00:00

It's usually given by a man to his girlfriend as a promise to marry her... one-day, usually after 10 years.

Okay but seriously, a promise ring could be either:

When a woman hints that she wants to get married, he will get a promise ring so that he shuts her up for the meantime.
Maybe I'm being way too ruthless, so ofcourse, there are guys who mean good and give it as a token to express their love and his promise to marry her soon enough.

brit-md · 2020-03-07T23:57:49+00:00

I would’ve also found it cute at 14/15 but would be mortified I ever wore one looking back now.

SavvyInNYC · 2020-03-07T23:55:19+00:00

Childish.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-03-08T00:04:41+00:00

Personally, I am very grateful that I stayed away from any kind of commitment to anyone other than myself while I was growing up. You are in a transformative stage in your life, you should explore life and who you are as a person. When you’re with someone there’s an expectation that you’re kind of going to be that same person and I worry that you’ll not become who you truly are because someone else has expectations placed on you. I’ve watched girls stay small because their boyfriends expected them to and it’s sad to watch.

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-03-08T00:48:32+00:00

I got myself a white gold and emerald promise ring that I wear on my right hand as a reminder that I deserve someone who treats me at least as well as I treat myself.

TheWordLilliputian · 2020-03-08T00:55:29+00:00

My sister has one and I understand his choice on it. He wants to be married now lol. But she is focusing on school first- finishing up her last degree so getting married “now,” is not the right choice for her. His promise ring is to let her know he will wait until she’s ready. He is signifying that he will be patient no matter how her life goes, for this time it’s school. So she is mentally “ready” in regards to how she feels about him, just not in the other ways. While he is ready 1000%.

The idea behind it at ANY age is that there is love and “I want to marry you one day.” As teens, marriage is too young so they know that and the next best thing is the promise. As adults it’s the same meaning, same reason just different situations.

2020-03-07T23:44:41+00:00

I'm not familiar with them. I've heard of them, but what is the implied promise?

Title	Promise rings
Author	skeeeq
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	March 7, 2020 11:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ff3qn4/promise_rings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/promise-rings.680666 https://theredarchive.com/post/680666

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