I have noticed a lot of posts here taking the basic following format:

I know FDS advocates only dating men with quality x. The guy I'm with does not have it, or does not have it in high amounts. Is this acceptable? Can I give him x? Am I LV if I stay with him?

The thread that runs through a lot of these posts is that many of us are expecting too much from a single relationship and, as a result, we're negotiating our standards for men who do not meet our needs. Your romantic relationship is supposed to add to your social circle, not entirely replace it.

FDS cannot help you find or pick a perfect man. Nothing can. No such man exists. It's about YOU. What do you want? What is important in your life? What qualities do you value in a partner?

And, most importantly, if you value these qualities, why are you settling for someone who doesn't take them seriously?

That being said, if you are dating someone who lacks a quality that you value in your life -- maybe an appreciation for travel or art collecting or whatever -- it is not your job to give these to him.

Your job is to go out and build a social circle that allows you to enjoy these things whether you have a man or not.

This way when you meet someone who doesn't like, or have, this one particular thing, you won't be looking at him like a project or viewing him for his potential. You will be able to look at the man as he is and decide whether or not he has some other quality that outweighs this deficiency or whether to stop wasting your time on someone who does not meet your needs.

Marriages used to be about economic stability and cementing social bonds between families. In some ways, the transition to romance based marriages created an ideal that is entirely unrealistic. This one person is now expected to be your best friend, your lover, your provider, your advisor, your everything. These were roles that used to be filled by friends, family, mentors, village elders and now they all fall on one person.

That's only going to do two things. Put a lot of pressure on them, making them want out. And set them up for failure, making you resentful.

I understand that many of us may have difficult family backgrounds or feel lonely. But, getting married isn't going to solve either of these. Narcissists and assholes can smell vulnerability and they'll just leave you feeling worse.

In short, ladies, if you're lonely build up your girl gang. If you have family issues, seek therapy. A man isn't going to fix these for you.