Talk Therapy: let the cringe cleanse thy soul

MagpieMelon · 2020-01-11T15:00:19+00:00

[deleted]

woiashenseea · 2020-01-12T01:52:31+00:00

I let a man who was an actual zero (YES, AN ACTUAL ZERO IN EVERY DEPARTMENT) be my first fuck. His dick was, I shit you not, 4 inches long, and about the girth of 3 fingers. The condom did not fit well. He immediately asked me afterwards if I was really a virgin, because "it didnt feel like it."

This man would later rape me, and berate me as I faded out from consciousness in an unsuccessful suicide attempt. And got mad at me for peeing on his mattress... because I was unconscious

Be very careful how much medication you let them put you on... they made me insane enough to think I was "sexually liberated" and I kid you not that it what I ACTUALLY thought

He was 5'0" and missing 6 teeth btw

azngirl7689 · 2020-01-11T17:14:50+00:00

Before I lost my virginity at 22, I blamed women for getting pregnant for not using protection and “trapping” men into pregnancy. Turns out it’s men who hate condoms. Cringe AF.

SslimReaperr · 2020-01-11T19:55:18+00:00

spent $360 on nba tickets not once but twice, he doesn’t remember going the second time and insisted i only took him to one basketball game. also spent about 5 fucking grand on uber/food for this pencil dick fool. ugh never again.

FDS might not approve of this but i plan on playing him as my own petty revenge. he reached out to me and ive been playing nice, we’ve agreed to “spend a few days together” at my apartment. im having him call out of work for 5 days and hes gonna drive 6 hours to get here, once he tells me hes in my area im gonna delete his number & block 😋

SarcasmSlide · 2020-01-11T17:15:44+00:00

I was strung out on a skinny, unemployed, alcoholic, 5’6” dude with 2 DWI’s for much of my late teens/mid-20’s. The guy was homeless when I met him, couch surfing through our friend group. He cheated on me constantly, eventually leaving me for his 17-year old side chick (I was 21 at the time and he was 23) whom he had gotten pregnant.

He cheated on her with me when she was 7 months pregnant and he left her for me. I remember feeling so triumphant. I had won! He wanted me! What a prize I had here and boy was I never gonna let him get away again.

Until he did. Duh. He cheated on me constantly still, only this time with a friend from high school (mine, not his). Of course we lived together (in my apartment). And of course we drove one car (mine) while he was out on bond (that I paid for and co-signed). This is the guy’s vocation: it’s literally how he survives. By collecting sponsors. Sad, self-hating, Daddy-issues gals like me who would be more than happy to take the crumbs. I was so dickmatized, too, that it was difficult to keep my head. Big dick energy is real shit.

We went back and forth for YEARS. I mean years upon years. Even when I was excelling in nursing school and he was crashing in a literal crack house. You know who else he went back-and-forth with for years? My friend from high school! Ended up busting up her marriage when she became pregnant by him. He went on to have a bunch of kids with a bunch of women: six that we know of, but a suspected seventh.

I am a deeply damaged woman. I went on to one more toxic relationship after that, but have settled down with the definition of HVM. My life is full of peace now but it took a fuck lotta therapy and hard work.

Aggressive-March · 2020-01-11T22:30:01+00:00

I travelled for a guy I was in a LDR with. He was lovely for a few weeks but then started to treat me like shit, saying I wasn’t ‘challenging’ enough. Instead of going and doing my own thing I begged him to reconsider his opinion of me. I also bought him a ton of gifts while there and paid for all the food (+ rent even though he invited me as a guest). As soon as I left he went cold, suggested we weren’t right for the other and then immediately got back with his ‘crazy’ ex meanwhile I still begged for another chance with him. Sunk cost fallacy!

_untitled_nonsense · 2020-01-12T01:30:41+00:00

A military guy I dated, I asked him out he said yes. I found out he was talking to other girls. He responded, “we aren’t exclusive” I was heated I wanted to get back at him but ended up just wanting him to want me so I stayed around hoping he would crown me as his girlfriend sadly it ended with him calling me fat and he wasn’t attracted to me but still continued to fuck me.

Ahh soo naive little me. 😂

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-01-11T19:38:11+00:00

I have three.

Most recent: a situationship about five years ago. It lasted maybe four months. We had been very close friends for years, I had hooked him up with my ex-best friend (who cheated on him) and we had a lot in common and had always liked each other. I told him I was considering leaving the state to move to my hometown, just to be honest with him. Imagine my surprise when he immediately stops driving to see me, stops wanting to see me, but still asks for nudes. He drug it out up until my birthday with "maybe I can see you" and two other hook up sessions and I made plans to go to an amusement park with him on my birthday. I didn't have a car at the time, so was taking a bus to the amusement park. I bought us tickets, and a hotel room, and dinner reservations. All he had to do was show up - the park was maybe 15 minutes away from his house. Nope. I moved the next month, and he made up three different Facebook accounts to apologize to me with, saying he was in love with me and he was scared. I cringed all the way to deciding I was done with fuckbois. Blocked him, and grew up.

The next: I was in an abusive relationship that ended a year before the situationship. It lasted two years. I constantly made excuses for him and his behavior and spent tons of money keeping him happy, doing sex acts I wasn't interested in, going out of my way to see him. I changed how I dressed, how I acted, who I was friends with. He would drink heavily and flirt with other women in front of me. Just a mess and I kept excusing it because 1) I had put in a ton of work to fix him and 2) if he says he loves me that means it's ok. Yikes.

And before that: pretended I loved football so the man I lost my virginity to would decide I was perfect for him. Of course I wasn't, and he only cared about football - I literally had no other conversations with him. He joined the marines a week after he dumped me.

UnashamedWench · 2020-01-12T04:42:27+00:00

I fell in love with a co-worker, and asked him out. He turned me down.

Oh, not cringy enough for you?

Years later, I see a headline: he went to jail for raping multiple women. Including one he met when she was in jail at the facility where he was a correctional officer.

Flight487 · 2020-01-11T22:56:06+00:00

I dated a guy whose sister told me how awful he was but him being the first man to ever give me any attention outside of home and having never been to a public school to have normal social interactions, I asked him out. He said he was glad that I asked him out because he wouldn't have done the same, it's a woman's job to ask the guy out for feminist reasons. He was super into my eating habits and wanted me to cook for him, drive him everywhere, oh and did I mention he is a thief? Got fired from every job for the following: Toys R Us for illegally giving discounts to non employees and stealing over 20 small items in his time there, attempting to steal a guitar and amplifier from Best Buy, and stealing tires from Discount Tires. Got after me about my weight and justified keeping pictures of naked and half naked women on his bedroom walls because he was a teen boy and it was normal. And I haven't even gotten to the Pop wall. He was a collector (coughhordercough) of various things but mostly Pop figures. He has a few hundred. Ah, and he didn't have his license while we dated. Couldn't pass any of the tests and blew through stop signs/lights until some idiotic fool took pity on him and passed him. I pray for the people driving around him every day.

LittleQueenie8 · 2020-01-11T16:50:16+00:00

I stayed with my ex for too long, after way too many insults and boundary-crosses..

The highlights: took his sister on dates that I wanted to go on with him, bailed on me plenty of times by falling asleep super early and didn't put any thought at all to my birthdays 3 years in a row. Bought me a birthday present only once when we started dating. I had to beg for the cards that he did bothered to write for me. That's to say the least...

The cherry on top: after trying to gaslight me, he claimed that it's all because he is "not feeling well for a long time", and that I'm not a good enough gf for him bc I tried to hold him accountable and not to tolerate his shitty ways.

Thankfully, I dumped his sorry ass after 4 years of being a massive pickmeisha that thought for a while that he was God's gift to humanity. I will never be humiliated like this again.

girlvsearth · 2020-01-11T22:52:39+00:00

I dated a guy for four weeks in uni because it was the first guy that had shown any noticeable interest in me and I was afraid I'd end up alone otherwise. Not only was he boring to me, he also made me go 50/50 on Valentine's day. I slept with him because I felt like everyone else was doing it and I felt some kind of social pressure to find out what it was all about - on hindsight he knew I had no experience whatsoever and definitely crossed my boundaries a few times. He also gaslighted me that relationships were supposed to be like this.... Anyway I blamed myself for a long time for being so dumb... I'm really trying to understand how I can use FDS principles to have a more fulfilling, committed relationship! Also worth mentioning that part of this journey is realising I shouldn't wait for a man to make me complete! (Thanks FDS!)

2020-01-12T08:03:12+00:00

Some of these stories are making me wish I had used to trash bag for a condom because these men be trash

naenita_ · 2020-01-13T17:57:06+00:00

I pretty much posted this in another topic but I feel it fits better here.

About 2.5 years ago, I was in a bad place and tried to give dating a go (I have very limited dating experience, mostly due to self-esteem issues, but that's another topic). I messaged this guy on OkCupid because he seemed like a good match for me (nerdy/geeky, I liked his overall profile even if I thought he was kind of ugly) and we started talking.

I eventually asked him out for coffee, and the date went well imo. He seemed like a sweet guy so I kept talking to him. He was formerly super obese so I thought I could relate to him, since I was at the start of my weight loss journey. Looking back, I realize he wasn't that into me since I initiated every freaking date, it was all low cost dates and always not on weekends (eek). I wanted him to want me so bad. I also initiated any kissing.

One day he "forgot" that I had asked him if we could meet on a Saturday or something. I called him out on it and he got angry that I was nagging him about it, and said he didn't wanna see me romantically anymore. I still wanted to cling onto him, and I still made out with him after. He even told me he'd CONSIDER dating me if I lost weight!!

We stayed "friends" (I know, so cringe) for like a week max, until he decided to randomly tell me how much fun he had with another girl. I decided to ghost him and never heard from him again.

He's now dating one of my friends from high school but that's another story.

I now realize that he wasn't into me, he was just looking to get whatever he could from me. He's immature and now that I know more about him (through my friend) I realize I dodged a bullet. He's an abusive asshole.

After a year I finally started taking my weight loss seriously, I lost 17kg in 2019, looking for more this year. My job started taking off and I've been really busy (I was unemployed at the beginning of 2017, started doing freelance things).

I went on a trip to Europe with my sister and that gave me even more inspiration to better my life; also spending more time with my sister and one of her friends who I see as HVW. During this trip I met a guy and lost my virginity - it was fun! And he was a very sweet guy, treated me right and definitely into me. I now know what it feels like to be wanted by a man, and won't settle for less or half assed attempts. This fling gave me more confidence - I'm not undesirable, as how I would feel back then. I know it sounds silly and I shouldn't base my self worth on a single guy, but I know there's nothing wrong with me.

I've also been going out more (mostly with my friends) as opposed to staying in due to feeling ugly, or just not wanting to live. I was in a rut.

I'm successful, educated, intelligent, funny, driven, caring and loving. Any man who doesn't care to get to know me, or doesn't see me as such isn't worthy. This year I want to work more on my fitness, learning a new language and traveling more. If a guy wants to get into my life he better work for it.

Title	Talk Therapy: let the cringe cleanse thy soul
Author	fim_de_semana
Upvotes	49
Comments	38
Date	January 11, 2020 2:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/en86jj/talk_therapy_let_the_cringe_cleanse_thy_soul/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/talk-therapy-let-the-cringe-cleanse-thy-soul.685040 https://theredarchive.com/post/685040

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