What helps you stay strong?

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-12-30T16:39:05+00:00

I am very sorry to hear. 2019 was a very hard year for me too.

Think of it this way:

Why would I want a man who makes my already hard life even harder?

PossibleCook · 2019-12-30T17:08:55+00:00

It’s important to picture your future. That way if say, you’ve just cut someone out of your life, you can see the positive impact that decision has/will have. It’s also nice to think of all the good things happening, even the small ones that we usually take for granted.

totallylikeothergals · 2019-12-30T15:57:35+00:00

Nobody has the power to lower your value except of yourself.

Why do you think there is something wrong with you? Why do you give others the power to degrade yourself? Isn't there something wrong with people who need to give you the feeling you are not worth enough?

You deserve all the love, my dear. It's just there are people out there that aren't able to give you the kind of love you actually deserve. And be happy that they decide to exit your life, what do you want with someone that is only able to fulfill your needs for like 50 percent?

You need to love yourself first before loving someone else. How should you be able to love someone else if there isn't even enough love for yourself left? It will cost you much energy to enter a relationship in such a state because you give your love away to someone who doesn't even deserve it, and start to crave exactly this love back you just gave to the wrong person.

Also, if you begin to love yourself you don't need the love of someone else necessarily. It will be a beautiful bonus if someone appears who brings you love, but it won't rip you into pieces anymore cause you've got something already nobody will be able to take away. 😊

Titibaguette · 2019-12-30T17:43:15+00:00

Daily affirmations babe, try it, they helped me. Just everyday tell yourself, "Im smart, beautiful and successful" (thats what I use, you can make it about whatever suits you or what you want it to be, I also do it while looking in the mirror sometimes) its going to feel cheesy/untrue the first few times but keep doing it. Self-care/love is a big one too, nothing helps me reset after a long day like a nice hot bath, and having a clean fresh body and hair always makes me feel divine.

PatFlynnsPants · 2019-12-30T18:19:27+00:00

You gotta treat yourself in a loving caring way. Be your own best caretaker. When you do this, the feelings of self love will come.

And when you properly care for and love yourself, you won’t let anyone else give you less than you give yourself.

raindampened · 2019-12-30T18:31:52+00:00

you definitely deserve love. all HVW deserve love. but the thing that I learned from FDS is this;

it's hard to accept but it's better to accept the realistic chance that there aren't just enough HVM out there for every HVW. try to live a fullfilling life by creating memorable memories (travelling, going out to have fun), spending time with friends, loved ones, family. and if you happen to meet with HVM then that's great! again I know it's fucking hard to accept, myself I still didn't fully accept that and struggle with it, but I feel like that's the best way to deal with love.

to quote my ultimate favourite line from the Sex and the city show:

"Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with." - (S04E01)

I try my best to live by this quote. btw I know the show is often really PickMeisha but I still like it a lot.

kimikupkake · 2019-12-30T18:28:31+00:00

Write out all the good things about your life right now. Write out all your good qualities. Write everything no matter how small. Read it when you feel weak/down. Make a strong woman/empowerment playlist. Listen to it, dance to it. Do some self care - face masks, fluffy robe, fuzzy socks. Do your nails, fake tan etcetc. Do a YouTube workout. Put on a cute/sexy outfit, do your hair and makeup and take some selfies. Realise how gorgeous you are.

mephitmpH · 2019-12-30T18:44:03+00:00

Helped me to keep a journal. I found one for my phone and every time I felt like backtracking or begging for reconciliation I opened the journal and jotted my thoughts. Sometimes it was just ragey bullshit, other times it was reaffirming my choice and the reasons why. It helped me to see it in black and white. Stay strong sis, you can do this!

Haltthemoon · 2019-12-30T21:00:24+00:00

*hugs*

sending you virtual hugs

oh honey, you DESERVE love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve love. You deserved to be loved.

I know it gets hard sometimes. I certainly felt that a little bit yesterday. Whenever my mind wanders there, I'd stop and ask myself a few things:

Have I eaten?
Have I had coffee?
Have I showered?
Have I taken a deep breath?
Is the weather dreary today?

This thought is a passerby thought. Do not feed it. It's a troll.

If you've answered no to any of the questions 1-4, make sure you do all of them and turn the answers to yes. As to number 5, some people, like me, have seasonal affective disorder. It could be the winter that makes you a bit more depressed and hopeless. If the weather is dreary, sing to yourself 'the sun will come out tomorrow!'

If the weather is nice and you're still feeling down, go for a walk and put on your favorite fun song.

darkhorse8419 · 2019-12-31T10:51:02+00:00

Knowing how terrible my bad marriage is. Coming home to my own house with peace and quiet. Never wanting to be angry or afraid again. I’d rather be alone forever then be with another piece of shit.

WyvernCharm · 2019-12-30T20:57:43+00:00

I have a rock solid foundation because I've put in the work to be the kind of person I want to be. Just keep on living the life you want, self reflecting and being awsome. You've got this babe.

2019-12-30T21:57:42+00:00

Read these books in this order (preferably audio because it makes your brain feel more connected and supported and you can just let the book happen to you instead of sitting for hours trying to read possibly not understanding the true energy of the book)

He's just not that into you

not your mother's rules (and "all the rules).

Why men love bitches Why men marry bitches

(Moderators, these books are 100% in line with FDS strategy. You should read them too!)

Louise hay also helped me a lot and so did Christiane Northrup (spiritual women with high self esteem). I got the audio version so I feel like I have someone comforting me and I can just curl up in my bed.

What "keeps me going"is that before I found these books/this subreddit, I had low self worth (not esteem... WORTH). I was angry and distrustful of men after having been messed around by LVM or scaring off HVM with the emotional issues I was still dealing with from being used and abused as a young girl.

Now? I feel so powerful. My anger is gone. Powerful meaning I trust myself, I feel good about myself and I have no problem asserting myself, my standards and my boundaries. It's a turn on to the right guys, it gets you what you want, and you stop getting hurt or used.

What "keeps me going" is a sense of wellbeing and strength. If you don't feel this way, read those books, start exercise that FEELS GOOD (it's easy to feel hot and valuable when your body is strong and attractive, but exercise for the endorphins and the fact that weight bearing exercise helps your bones, don't obsess over your body). Eat good foods, protein, vegetables fruit and healthy fat and complex carbs. Drink water. You will soon feel empowered and nobody will mess with you. It might take 6 months to get the bugs out of your system and you might have to relearn with one or two LVM but the time will go down that you will tolerate their weird tactics. You want to feel cozy, happy and safe with a man. That means he loves you. Listen to your intuition. Don't obsess, just see your body's response to him and don't blame it away on having "anxiety". I was celibate and totally single for a year while I glowed up and read a lot of books. You don't need to subject yourself to the dating pool immediately it's ok to take a year off. You can let yourself be vulnerable in your own house, get a stuffed animal or a pet to cuddle at night. I don't have any fear and I'm not "confrontational" but I am a VERY strong woman... Not like "don't need no man" but like "wow she's intimidating unless you are high value man, in which case she will seem like a great catch". Don't worry. I also believe in law of attraction (Abraham Hicks) but that's pretty woo woo.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-30T18:08:13+00:00

For me I would get out with my friends, exercise, create goals, eat healthy, work on improvements. Just generally have a forward-looking attitude and do some things that help you enjoy the moment.

Title	What helps you stay strong?
Author	Titibaguette
Upvotes	27
Comments	17
Date	December 30, 2019 3:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ehn61z/what_helps_you_stay_strong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-helps-you-stay-strong.685948 https://theredarchive.com/post/685948

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