I hope this is okay to post here. I (female, 29) have an old friend I grew up with, B (male 31) who visits our hometown, where I now live, during the holidays. He’s moved out of state. We’ve been friends for 20 years, so if he’s around we try to grab a drink or something. But we don’t talk throughout the year.
In May 2015 he drunkenly confessed his love for me when I drove B home from a bar. I told him I don’t feel that way but I value our friendship. We didn’t speak of it again and it was business as usual.
Over Memorial Day weekend 2018 I was invited to B’s parents’ house to hang out with B, his siblings, and some of their friends. He ended up isolating us from the group and trying to kiss me. At that time I abruptly left and didn’t say anything to him for the next few months.
I started dating my boyfriend, N (male, 31) in August 2018. B hit be up over Christmas 2018 and I invited him out to hang with N and I and a big group of people. All was fine.
But I didn’t hear from B for the next few times he was home. I figured my suspicion was correct - he just wanted to get with me and didn’t actually value our platonic relationship. I didn’t reach out.
Last night, b told me he was in town and I offered to grab a drink with him when I was done working. It was fine at first. But then I was showing him photos of a competition I had won with my sports team and he kept commenting on how I looked in the photos and not my team’s huge accomplishment. I transitioned to pictures of n and I at my best friend’s wedding and he still commented on my appearance saying how hot I looked, etc.
I stopped with the photos. At one point he thanked me for getting the second round of drinks and patted my back. Which was fine. But then he commented on my jacket fabric. Trying to downplay it I said, “yeah it’s super soft! That’s why I bought it!” But then he took it upon himself to TOUCH MY LEG and say “same fabric as your pants, right?” And I was like hell naw and told him not touch my leg.
That’s when I was over this friendship. I don’t need my space violated. B fully knows I’m not interested. I had shown no signs of changing my mind on this point on any way. And he knows how much I love N. I don’t understand the utter lack of respect.
Badass ladies of FDS, what do you make of all this? I’m trying to navigate what my next move should be. If any. And trying to make sense of my feelings.
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