Update to - I (25F) told my fiance (30M) some details about my sexual history. He took it badly and says that I mislead him early on; we separated

πŸ“·

Here is the original post

First of all, I do want to thank those who took the time to read my original post and gave advice, it was helpful to get different perspectives. A few users suggested that the situation may be more serious than I thought and could end up in a breakup and unfortunately that ended up being the case...

It's difficult to explain how things unravelled since I am still trying to come to grips with the situation myself. But as I said in the last post, Zach became distant after that initial conversation, and at first I just wanted to give him space. Then he went on a short trip to a work site and when he came back we had another discussion. At that time he said that he thought about the situation non-stop and that he's sorry but that it would be best to call off the wedding and separate at least temporarily.

His reasoning was that although he tried as hard as possible to get past it, somehow he just can't look at me the same, as though I'm not the same person he has known all this time. That part really hurt, because it made me feel like some kind of fraud, when I was always consistent throughout our relationship. He did apologize and said he realizes it's his problem, but that he doesn't want to get married unless he is 100% certain he wants to spend his life with that person and right now he can't be sure that person is me.

He has since moved to a small studio he used to rent out. We initially said the separation would be temporary, but I'm not really holding out any hope, I don't really see how we can recover from this. We were civil during the moving out stage, but I would be lying if I said I'm not extremely upset at the situation, alliterating between sadness and anger. It all just seems so needlessly pointless, like throwing a fresh cake into the trash. We had a great relationship, both invested in each other and bonded, and got along so well. I have no doubt we could have continued going just this strong for decades to come. And yet he chose to throw all of that away because we were different people in our college years.