If you decided to write down your thoughts for one whole day, 95% of those thoughts would be about you:
I want a hamburger.
I gotta take a shit.
I should probably go mow the lawn.
What time is my barber appointment?
Et cetera Et cetera you get the point. Everyone in the world is thinking "Me. Me. Me."
With this in mind, everyone is also dying to tell someone about themselves. Anyone. Who doesn't like talking about themselves? Why do people buy Rolex watches, rent Lamborghinis and wear Gucci belts? Because they're expensive and they want everyone to know how successful and/or cool ME is. Now there are the few who appreciate the design of Rolex, the speed of Lamborghinis and the style the gucci belts add to their wardrobe, but that's for another discussion.
Now think about the last time you saw anything over the top like a Rolex, Lamborghini, etc. You thought , "damn that's an interesting (insert nice ass gadget, toy, or buttplug here)," and moved on with your (MY) day.
The truth is that nobody gives a shit. Nobody is constantly thinking about the guy they saw with the Rolex at Whole Foods or the Lamborghini driver at the cars and coffee. This should be a well known fact if you've been lurking here for a while, but if you're new then you should know that nobody but your friends, family and maybe your dog gives a shit about you.
So flip the script. Start developing a genuine interest in people and you will be amazed. Go ask the dude with the Rolex what drove him to buying such an expensive watch and observe his face light up and his thoughts regurgitate as if they've been sitting in his head waiting all day to come out. I've had some of the best conversations of my life by simply being interested and wanting to know more about someone else.
How does this make you interesting you ask?
- By wanting to know more, you develop an open mind to learning more, and knowledge gives you the tools and resources to be an interesting person.
- People will see you as someone "different." Not a lot of people are genuinely interested in others which is what makes this mind shift so remarkable, along with the fact that people absolutely love talking about themselves.
If you haven't read it already, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," by Dale Carnegie was where this post got it's inspiration from. I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone.
Develop this interest but expect nothing in return. By doing this, you're becoming interested for the sake of wanting to know more about everyone, and people pick up on it. It's very easy to recognize when someone is talking to you because they want something from you, so expect nothing but a great conversation with someone new.