Should I stick it out or cut my losses?

loneliness-inc · 2017-05-22T13:38:34+00:00

You know him for a month and you had this phone call two weeks ago, this means you had the phone call two weeks into seeing him. This is good.

You say it took a turn for the worse. I disagree. I think it took a turn for the better because he was honest about what he wants and that's not a LTR. He may be open to one later but right now he's still in the "burned" stage after his divorce and not interested in a LTR. That's all you need to know.

You have your answer but you don't like it. This is understandable. You really like this person and you were hoping it'll work out, but it won't work out. You ought to move on.

AndyKane · 2017-05-22T13:09:45+00:00

Next!!! If you think about it a monogamous FWB is basically getting all the relationship perks with none of the drawbacks. That's incredibly selfish and unfair. Abundance mentality is something you've gotta cultivate. You're operating out of scarcity.

destinationjourney · 2017-05-22T16:22:03+00:00

I think the most cringe-worthy was the term "monogamous FWB." What are these college freshman Tinder psuedo-relationship statuses. Did he just make that term up? And he's 31? Nexterino. Sorry not exactly constructive critcism, but you already knew he was a lost cause.

Gardrothard · 2017-05-22T12:50:30+00:00

If you try something with him now it will mean that you accept his terms. And once you make yourself a booty call, that what a FWB is, isn't it, it's very unlikely you will go up in status.

This is negotiation. The first one to talk is the one who will have to accept other's terms.

Even if he doesn't call, you will be someone who showed him that she respect herself, so it's possible he will remember you when he's out of that chill phase. Although, unlikely.

[deleted] · 2017-05-22T14:01:46+00:00

realistically speaking, he's as good as it gets for me.

OP: the above statement is fundamentally false. the man who is best for you - or in your words, as good as it gets - is one who meets your highest priorities; in your case, that's a long term committed relationship.

next.

in the alternative, if you think this sort of behavior IS all you deserve, i suggest that you enter nun/monk mode for a bit and work on building up reserves of confidence and self-esteem. there's a world of difference between being objective and setting yourself up for constant disappointment/heartache.

Willow-girl · 2017-05-22T13:01:07+00:00

"Monogamous FWB" sounds to me like he wanted you to be monogamous!

I don't think you and this man are on the same page. He has told you what he wants, and it doesn't line up with what you want. Yes, he was very charming at the outset, because he was trying to get in your pants! As Mother used to say, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Turn your attention elsewhere and use it to find one who wants what you want.

azngirl7689 · 2017-05-22T13:42:18+00:00

Unless you want to be plated or pumped and dumped, I'd say let it go.

tigermomo · 2017-05-22T16:58:36+00:00

Forget about this guy and move on. Give him a booty call once a month if you need to.

missjulie94 · 2017-05-22T12:44:04+00:00

No, cut him off. Guys like that are so cringeworthy. The moment a guy tells me he's not on the same page as I am in terms of a relationship, I stop talking to him. It's just setting yourself up for heartbreak and if you stick around you might miss out on meeting a better guy.

810809 · 2017-05-22T18:07:43+00:00

I just can't believe this is the same man.

I know, while I can understand his motivations perfectly it doesn't make it alright. He's damaged goods thanks to his divorce it would seem, bail out!

jb_trp · 2017-05-22T23:13:39+00:00

What's the point of getting to know me, if you just want to bang me? How could a man be mature & ahead of his time in every other aspect of his life, but be so stereotypical when it comes to love?

He's being honest with you, and you should be thankful for that. There are a lot of creeps out there who lie to women and tell them what they want to hear, just to use them for sex and them move on. It sounds like many of his interactions with women haven't worked out (i.e. divorce, LTR not working out) and it sounds like he's not interested in commitment, and once it was clear your intentions are different, he's moving on. Don't feel bad about this.

Find a guy who has the qualities you want in life, and who wants the same things as you do. Don't waste your time on a guy who doesn't want those same things, hoping he'll change. A lot of time will pass before you know it, and it'll be harder to find a decent man.

[deleted] · 2017-05-23T13:40:34+00:00

Give it time. Wait around for another six months to a year, watching reruns of Friends and Sleepless in Seattle. It's summer so stock up on ice cream without guilt. Maybe quit your job so you can mourn full time. Text him every day just to let him know you're still here and haven't moved on. If you can, stalk him on social media. And always tell yourself you can change him and make him want an LTR, because he doesn't really want what he says he wants. Besides, you shouldn't think about dating someone who wants you.

Lol if you cringed mad on this then you know what to do.

merlinsmoon · 2017-05-30T19:55:04+00:00

move on

cynicalhousewife · 2017-05-22T12:51:12+00:00

I think at best you should keep your options open. It could be that he's making you think there is a chance because he wants non commital sex. I would be wary. If you are a 7 like you claim to be then you shouldn't have problems meeting someone else unless you live in somewhere like LA.

HangingSalami · 2017-05-22T18:30:40+00:00

Timing is not right. He's obviously not that interested in you unless their is fwb sex involved. Why not just have him give you an orgasm and then rush out...that would be hilarious...cuz you'd be using him and he'd probably put up with it...lol

dottywine · 2017-05-22T18:45:21+00:00

It's interesting you believe the best you can do is fall in love with a guy who doesn't want what you want.

Have fun, but keep your eyes open for what you truly WANT.

bowie747 · 2017-05-22T21:56:08+00:00

Assuming that when a man wants to get to know you all he wants is to bang you and bail

Assuming that this man is immature because he does not want an LTR at this time.

Sounds like a certain anti-family dogma to me.

[deleted] · 2017-05-23T06:55:13+00:00

When in doubt, always cut losses. Also divorced at 31 tells me he probably won't want marriage again for like another decade.

Also, be very leery of liking a man because of how well you perceive your connection to be. He might be a sociopath, narcissist, liar, or manipulator and that may be why you feel that way. Been there done that.

Title	Should I stick it out or cut my losses?
Author	AndyKane
Upvotes	19
Comments	47
Date	May 22, 2017 12:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6cmwta/should_i_stick_it_out_or_cut_my_losses/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-stick-it-out-or-cut-my-losses.72841 https://theredarchive.com/post/72841

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