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Y’all. Of COURSE he lives with his mother. 🙄

slynnry

January 9, 2021

556 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Title	Y’all. Of COURSE he lives with his mother. 🙄
Author	slynnry
Upvotes	556
Comments	37
Date	January 9, 2021 5:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ktkv8y/yall_of_course_he_lives_with_his_mother/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yall-of-course-he-lives-with-his-mother.737792 https://theredarchive.com/post/737792

Comments

[+][deleted] 5 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

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[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]_RustInPiece_FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogchickenhorseFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LePetitChibiFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I agree, isn’t one of the FDS core principles to pay these LVM no mind?

Anyway, I am happy to answer these questions:

Let's discuss qualities of a HVW instead. Has anyone college-aged decided on a career? Tell us, we would love to hear and offer you advice on striving for financial security.

Yup! I am going back to college to get a degree in I.T and to become a software developer. My entry interview is this Monday! Thanks to the Pandemic, I’ve unfortunately been unemployed for a year and barely have a penny to my name, but I am filling up my funds by doing some freelance translations.

Has anyone made gains performing therapy?

I did have a therapist, but unfortunately we can only communicate via e-mail right now because her office is closed and the walls in my home are paper thin, so zoom meetings are unfortunately not an option either.My goal for 2021 is to get my long overdue ADHD diagnosis (it has always been an open secret in my family that I have it, but nothing was done to help me) and start therapy for it.

Has anyone finally stopped being a doormat for coworkers or family?

I am starting to set boundaries, and lord have mercy, it’s hard. Tell me: will they ever stop telling you to “stop overreacting”? I know I am not overreacting, I am just putting an end to two decades of mistreatment. My philosophy so far was to let things slide, since my entire family is currently crammed in a way too small house and I felt like I needed to “keep the peace.” But you know what? Fuck it, my siblings don’t care, so why should I? Telling people to fuck off is terrifying in the moment, but it feels amazing afterwards.

Also, I am currently reading “Why does he do that?” and “Adult child of emotionally immature parents”. They’re both not easy to read, so I am going through them at a much slower pace than what I am used to, but I am learning so much from these books.

Also, I got a smart watch for Christmas, which finally got me back to exercising.

Lastly, If I may get a bit silly here, FDS helped me in making the decision to divorce my useless spouse in Stardew Valley 😅. Fuck Elliott though, six years of marriage, does jack sh- around the farm, and hasn’t written a single book in five years. AND THEN has the audacity to bitch about me not doing any housework? Sure thing, boo, it’s not like I have a farm to run or anything....

[–]riricideFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wonderful 🙌🙌

Relate a lot to almost everything you talked about. Getting my ADHD diagnosis was so helpful. I was able to stop feeling guilty and start taking steps to remedy executive deficits. Literally those 6 months after diagnosis my life was completely different and it was simply because I stopped feeling so damn guilty 😅 Building the necessary skills has been key of course. I highly suggest meditation and mindfulness (whether ADHD or not) it has helped my focus and chill tremendously.

The CPTSD journey is one I'm still on, Lindsay Gibson's book was phenomenal. Maybe read Pete Walker after that if you're up for it. I know it can be very triggering and exhausting. For me, ADHD treatment alone did not solve the emotional reactivity situation and it's only when I started learning about emotional neglect and boundaries that I was able to get there. ADHD and CPTSD are apparently highly correlated, so I'm happy you're looking into healing both.

Edit - Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel! I think you will like it :)

[–]LePetitChibiFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Candid_Check_4843FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]RojavaLoverFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

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[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Like fuck, feminism is for women,by women and about women.

YESSSSSS. So many women want to buy into the idea that "men benefit from feminism too!". They don't. They fucking don't. Men have no skin in the game when it comes to feminism.

Oh, the poor men who can't express their feelings, waaahhhhhh.... Men are known for their anger issues. That's a fucking feeling. Men are known for 'bromances'. Look throughout history! Men express their feelings when they want with who they want without remorse. Yea, that man manipulated and fucked a bunch of women while married? How do you think he manipulated them? He expressed feelings.

I honestly don't think men can be "allys" in the way I see the term used. When it comes to feminism the only men I trust are the men that shut the fuck up and listen to women. They don't lead feminist groups, they don't spout feminist bullshit. They closest they get to spouting anything feminist is about viewing women as people, supporting organizations that help women, and backing laws that help women.

I don't want a man who thinks he can tell me "abortion is fine if it's rape" or "some women find prostitution empowering"... Fuck you for thinking you know what female empowerment looks like. Female empowerment sure as fuck doesn't benefit men and let them use us for sex.

[–]_RustInPiece_FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Over years of studying feminist topics I've reached the conclusion that true feminism has to be uncomfortable for men in order to archive it's goals. Most of that time I tried to excuse the existence of feminism (yes "excuse", you read right) while following the school of thought of liberal feminism. Without realizing it I was - speaking in FDS terms - a pickmeisha who wanted equality but at the same time didn't want to loose men's acceptance or love (like I had any of it in the first place). Unsurprisingly all attempts to do so backfired big time. Every move I made while having this eQuAItY mindset led to those men exploiting me and other women even more. It was the opposite from what I fought for.

Turns out creating liberal feminism LGBTQ friendly open-minded kink accepting safe spaces didn't sensitize not hetero-normative men towards sexual assault and the relevance of consent. Instead they diverted the female members from each other because it increased their chances of getting laid. Don't like it: How oppressive of you! You're just jealous. CoMMuNiCaTe better. Speak out against triangulation and be prepared to become the next target since you know whats up.

Men don't think like women. Don't let them into female minded safe spaces and movements. I guarantee you, men will corrupt them.

[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]VeronaMoreauFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]getrippeddiemirinFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]plummyjellyfishFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that our focus should be on levelling up and identifying HVM, but I also agree with another poster here that talking about LVM is essential as well. Know thy enemy and all that, plus, frankly, sometimes you just need to vent. Wish there were all-female subreddit for general shitposting and the like...

Anyway, as to this post, I think it's a good thing to roast LVM like this one - he's part of a group that is openly chauvinist, it's part of the mandate. It's very depressing as a woman to live life knowing the sheer number of extreme misogynists there are out there in the world, but exposing the correlation between that thinking and being an uber-loser can take away some of that burden.

At least for me. Knowing that all those men out there who hate my guts, just for having XX chromosomes, are simply projecting their own failures, helps me sleep at night.

[–]WomanWarrierFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Curiousquest2FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link