(24M) I hate myself because girls in my hometown from high school don't want me they hate me and think I'm ugly/ No attractive women like me. I never had a girlfriend/ Meanwhile my friends back home has better lives and hot girlfriends I hate my life/ Can I get advice?

Comeandseemeforonce · 2018-06-15T23:15:38+00:00

Actually you'd look pretty manly if you just slimmed down. Look into keto and CICO. Small steps. If you can't do that then I agree don't even try with the opposite sex.

SmittyFromAbove · 2018-06-15T23:15:46+00:00

This is from a guy but you aren't a bad looking dude but you need to lose some weight. Get a gym membership some protein and hit the weights. You will notice immediate improvement in mood and energy.

Chelseaqix · 2018-06-15T23:16:49+00:00

Would you date the female equivalent of yourself?

I feel like you wouldn’t.

So you have two options... adapt or accept.

StrongAffordance · 2018-06-15T23:17:19+00:00

Read the main Red Pill sidebar top to bottom. Start with “no more mr nice guy”. Then do it again but while putting it into action. And stop the”I’m a loser” attitude immediately.

justtenofusinhere · 2018-06-15T23:17:32+00:00

The one instant where a girl liked me was a chubby band girl with braces. I dated her for a week but everyone laughed at me so i broke up with her.

That is the key statement. You sabotage yourself. When you do catch a break, you discard it out of fear of others and their thoughts.

That is why you are fat. That is why you are awkward. That is why you are a loser. That is, probably, why you are ugly. Being Short is just genetics, suck it up, but keep in mind, your a good 5 inches taller than a five foot woman!

The problem is you're a pussy. But good pussy want dick, so get wiht the fucking program. Leave RPW and go to TRP.

Novodad · 2018-06-15T23:18:27+00:00

Read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi. It will put things into perspective for you.

“Getting laid” and getting women should never be the goal. Finding a dream and a passion - pursuing that relentlessly is. All the whole focusing on improving yourself along the way. Work on social skills, upgrade your fashion, make the gym a habit. Incremental steps.

The journey to becoming the person you want to be will not happen overnight. It’s key increments baby steps, hour by hour, day by day.

Eventually things will fall into place. Confidence will increase, conversations will flow. Anxiety hopefully will diminish. Find something you love and manifest the shit out of it.

Women love a man who has a twinkle in his eye, yet they don’t want to be that twinkle.

littleshroom · 2018-06-15T23:18:38+00:00

Therapy. Dude, i have seen guys who look ten times worse than you, but because they have self confidence and they are working on their dreams, not trying to catch pussy, they DO catch it.

You have huge self esteem issues. Lose weight, hit the gym and change your attitude. You whine all the time, even though you should be proud of yourself for losing so much weight since february! All that negativity is aannoying.

Your dislike of women also is annoying. Every woman is either a whore or too ugly for you. Dont go the incel route. Be honest with your self and work on your issues.

IckeSvensk · 2018-06-15T23:18:43+00:00

The first thing you should do is lose weight. If you are concerned about your height, my bf is 5'8 and I'm 6' and I've never been more attracted to a person before. There are women who dont care about height! :). But I think you should go to asktrp because they are better at giving advice to guys

UnbreakableFrame · 2018-06-15T23:18:55+00:00

You aren't bad looking, but you have a terrible personality. You need to go to TRP and devour the sidebar. You need to get your shit together. I'll give you a quick rundown of your first day as a Red Pilled man.

Day 1: Download No More Mr. Nice Guy and go get a gym membership. Use Stronglifts, 5x5, or really any program at all that has a decent following. I have a once fat friend who started P90X 2 months ago and looks like a different person now. Just do something.

Day 2: Read more of NMMNG and complete your second day of lifting. On this day however, you go to Vitamin Shop or GNC (or fucking Walmart even) and buy some decent supplements. If you aren't lactose intolerant, Gold Standard will be just fine. If you are, Gold Standard is still fine, just buy some lactaid also.

Day 3: Your hormones are starting to make you feel like a human being again at this point. Enjoy that. This next step in controversial in RP, but stop fucking jerking off and playing video games. Not for moral reasons, but because jerking off and gaming are both false forms of validation. You need to acclimate yourself to what real progress feels like, and you can't do it if you keep flooding your dopamine receptors with "achievements" from your fucking XBox.

Day 4: Finish NMMNG. Honestly, you should have finished it on day 1 or 2, but I know you didn't, so do it now. Keep working on your lifts; you haven't earned your first rest day yet. Download MAP by Athol Kay. This is often thought of as a 201 book, but it's really not. You need direction in your life and this will help.

Day 5: Your first rest day off of the gym. Read all of MAP and start drawing out your MAP on real paper. If you don't know how to use Microsoft Excel, now would be a good time to learn. Excel is an incredible tool for tracking your progress.

The rest is up to you for now. Stop whining about your situation and do shit to change it. Whining isn't for the public, whining is for you. Every time you want to whine, ask yourself what it is you are about to complain about, and address that fucking problem. If it can't be changed, ask yourself if you can find away around the problem. If you are positive that it can't be changed or worked around, then you are wrong and need to read more.

Nick Vujicic married a very attractive woman and he was born without fucking limbs. I want you to read that sentence again. He was born without limbs. How did he do it? He has an incredible personality and an alpha mentality on how to approach his fucking life. He's the most badass legless mother fucker on the planet and everyone who has ever met him knows it. You literally don't have single deformity from what I can see. You are just a little bit short (which is not a big deal) and way overweight (which is entirely under your control). You need to become a person that you can be confident in being. Do that at any cost and your life will change.

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-06-15T18:54:58+00:00

Go to askTRP this is not the place for men's questions

Beeswaxed · 2018-06-15T23:19:08+00:00

Hey there.

I think you have the wrong sub.. Were you maybe looking for the Red Pill?

Regardless, I think that I can sympathize with you... I think everyone, men and women alike have had times in their lives when they feel undesirable, like a lost cause etc. I think it's just part of the human condition. It is a Red Pill tenant that men have more of an issue with this, especially at a younger age, because they are not given the inherent societal value that women are given.

It is easy to be angry. It is easy to feel like everything is unfair. When I was growing up, I did not fit in with people, and I desperately wanted to! I didn't realize that I was doing things that put them off of me as a person, like being too clingy or needy, desperate, unkind (even when I wasn't trying to be!). I took it out on my parents growing up. Here is a thread which might help, from the social skills subreddit. Recovering Awkward Person If you search by top posts there is a lot of good material on that sub about social interaction and some rules you can put in place to make yourself more relatable. Social skills top

Life isn't fair, honestly. You can either be angry at the things that you can't control, or you can try to do something about it. There are some things which are not changeable, but it looks like you are already on the path to self-improvement! Congratulations on the weight you lost!

I think the most important thing to focus on is on what are YOU offering to the people in your life? Your friends? The women you are persuing? Because people do not owe you anything. They do not owe you time, love, admiration just because you talk to them or are around them. What, honestly are you giving to them? Some things, especially with high value women or people, are just baseline. Being nice to someone is baseline. Almost everyone important to them is being nice to them most of the time, and almost everyone in the world is basically decent and polite to them. So being nice doesn't really get you any points.

People want to be around people who make them feel good, who offer them something. Maybe it is good converstation, or adventure, or debate, or humour, or support. Most of the time it is almost all of these things. You are expecting women to want you (and blaming when they don't) why? What are you offering them that others in their life don't?

As soon as you are the desperate one in any relationship, or the more needy one, or the more dependant one, the other person cannot have respect for you, because you do not respect you. Have you ever known someone in your life who you did not want to associate with or hang out with? Think about the interaction patterns the two of you had, and try to extrapolate those to the other people in your life. What might you be doing to those around you which are repelling them from you?

You can have reasons for things, but it is a good idea never to make them into excuses. Self pity is not attractive to women or people in general. The difference between reasons and excuses are that reasons suggest a plan of action to help you overcome an obstacle, whereas an excuse excuses you from trying. For example, a reason not to do your homework is that the internet might be down, and you can't access the homework page. This suggests alternative plans of action, maybe you can go to the public library, or a coffee shop and access it there. An excuse happens the next day, when you tell someone that you couldn't do homework because the internet was down. A reason suggests action to prevent it from being an issue, an excuse relives you from the burden of responsibility.

As soon as you stop focusing on things which you do not have control over (your height etc) you can take that energy and focus on things which you can actually improve.

If you think you can handle some honest criticism from people in your life, you might consider talking to those close to you, your cousins, your friends, your dad, and saying "hey, I have a lot of trouble with women, with meeting people, with feeling worthwhile, what do you guys see me doing which may make me unattractive to people in my life?" If you honestly want to get better, there is no one on this site who is going to have more insight into the destructive patterns that you may be exhibiting. They are giving you reasons that you are failing socially, you are giving us escuses because it places the blame on the people around you. "That girl didn't want to go out with me because she is stupid and a whore" is an excuse, "That girl didn't want to go out with me because I was too needy right off the bat and it made her think that I do not have self respect". Why in the world should people have respect for you when you don't respect yourself? Why should people have confidence in you if you don't have confidence in yourself?

You aren't bad looking but you aren't a model. You are reasonably young, good complexion, nice eyes, good bone structure. You aren't irreversibly disfigured. You seem relatively healthy other than being overweight. You are mobile, and don't have any mental defects other than apparently poor social skills. This is good news!!! Social skills, personality traits, weight and body shape are all things you have total control over! You are the mind controlling the meat machine, with dedication you can get into shape, and with research and practice you can develop good interpersonal skills. You live in a first world country. You have a job and a family. Focus on things that you are lucky to have instead of the opposite, gratitude is the first step towards inner peace and self love.

Other good news is that people less able bodied, less tall, heavier, poorer complexion are in relationships, have confidence in themselves, and are happy, which means that there is the potential for you to get there as well. Don't give up hope on yourself. E

There is so much here on reddit for self improvement. I will link the top posts from some of my favourite subs. Self Improvement A good post Fitness Eating Healthy Seduction Self Help

Just search up questions you have, people have most likely had similar struggles! Do some research on some books, How to win friends and influence people is a good one. Explore your passions. Do you want to spend time with a boring person with no passions, and a bitterness towards people because they feel they have been treated unfairly? Become the person you want to attract. Join a book club, a tennis club, a walking club, anything to get you out of the house and interacting with people. Volunteer. Work on improving yourself before you even consider wanting a relationship.

Best of luck, I know that there is a world of possibilities out there for you. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-06-15T23:19:18+00:00

Not for nothing, but this is more for AskTRP or somewhere else - you'll get pretty good advice from mostly men.

Being a never-kissed virgin doesn't matter and has no bearing on how your future with women turns out. You have to lose the mindset of "I'm still fat and ugly" as this gets you nowhere and keeps you in negative- mindset mode.

You joined the football team for the wrong reasons. You play for the love of the sport, commitment, team camaraderie, and the challenge. Girls are secondary and never should be your focus.

If you like a woman - simply tell her. If she offers friendship/friend-zone status simply advise you have enough friends and decline the offer. DO NOT become a Beta Orbiter...hanging around and doing favors trying to earn points. This is bad and desperate strategy.

Don't make friends for the wrong reasons. It seems as if you're "using people." That's not a good look. Get and find a few good, genuine, and honest friends. That's it. Also - don't compare your life to others. Forge your own path and seek your own journey. That’s much better. The man you're ALWAYS chasing is the man you want to be FIVE YEARS from now. Do that and think that way all the time and for the rest of your life.

Bars, clubs, online dating, and the like are terrible prospects for relationships. Women are running around you all day long and when you conduct basic activities – even at church, community events, fairs, and special celebrations, etc. You’re missing a lot of opportunities by failing to interact away from bars, clubs, and online. Politely introduce yourself and ask for a date or coffee-shop meetup. Keep it simple. Be prepared for rejection and don't be bothered by it. Don't be a spaz, but don't be a jerk and don't be desperate. It's not that serious.

Forget all the other negative experiences. If anything - find a life-lesson from each episode you can use to make life-improvements.

"The one instant where a girl liked me was a chubby band girl with braces. I dated her for a week but everyone laughed at me so I broke up with her."

If you liked her and she was attracted to you, you made a mistake by caring too much of what others think. As long as you and she were good together with neither person hurting the other in any way, you should have stayed the course and let it play out. That's a life-lesson.

So... you're not a lost cause, you can improve your dating life, and generate interest from more attractive women and women in general by doing the following:

-Conduct a direct attitude change and shift your mindset.

-Place direct focus, effort, and energy in ALL the important areas of life: health, fitness, education/academics, career, finances/financial stability, assets/investments, intelligence, confidence, leadership, life-experience, be aware of local, national, and international news and events, etc.

-Get in great shape and keep in shape - ALWAYS. Conduct regular exercise for strength, improving cardio, and a healthy diet. Make drastic changes and stick to it.

-Also - consider women who are your looks-match versus aiming for some 8/10 or 9/10 woman just because she's hot.

You want character, integrity, honesty, loyalty, respect, support, and dedication versus just some chick with a pretty face and little substance. It’s a bonus if she just happens to be prettier than expected.

Only spend time and interact with women for who you have GENIUNE and mutual attraction and eventual love. This is a must - along with compatibility, shared life goals, and shared life-interests.

Do these things and do them right...and you will not spend your life chasing women you have no chance of landing nor waste time with thinking you cannot be happy without a mate.

Also - get mentoring and advice from men in solid marriages and great relationships. Most are glad to help.

It's not easy. It takes work. There are NO SHORTCUTS.

Now get busy living your best life.

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