For RPW who value themselves and are in a LTR, what are ways you try to show some effort in the relationship (small things) & how do you know it’s being valued or appreciated?

constantly_in_motion · 2021-04-26T02:42:11+00:00

I cook dinner every night, and do more of the chores since I work less than him. I also try to tell him every day that I appreciate how hard he works and compliment something else masculine, tell him he's handsome or strong or turns me on ;)

1987dd1987 · 2021-04-25T21:58:09+00:00

Ah ha! This sounds like a love language issue. My husband is always trying to show me love through touch however my love language is words of affirmation. I hear and absorb words of affirmation better. I am always telling my husband kind and thoughtful words whereas to him a kind touch would convey more love. We tend to show others love in the way that we want it and not necessarily in the way that they need it.

It’s possible that your partner does not value acts of service in the same way that you do. Perhaps take the love languages quiz as a couple!

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Once you know each other’s love language you can each work on being more fluent in your partner’s.

throwawayisathing · 2021-04-26T09:14:59+00:00

I ask him for small favours like helping me reach stuff, what he thinks I should do and is really appreciative when he helps me. I also admire his muscles a lot by caressing his chest or arms and telling him I like that he is handsome and strong. He lights up.

I ask him if he wants a cup of tea every now and then. He tells me thank you in a very sincere way when I bring it.

I know he loves massages but I don’t enjoy giving them much, so I should try giving him more of those without him asking about it.

Maybe your man is not voicing his appreciation? Maybe he doesn’t care much about the coffee. I know admiration for your man and him feeling like he is doing a good job or helping is very important and that’s what I try to enforce. When he tells me he’s been on a long run I compliment him, says he’s doing a good job cause he is!

I would recommend reading fascinating womanhood or listen to some podcasts, that has helped me out :)

MirriMazDuur · 2021-04-26T05:50:36+00:00

What about wearing sexy lingerie or dressing elegantly? Does he notice that?

Own-Grapefruit7309 · 2021-04-25T23:17:00+00:00

He doesn’t care because men are givers (doers) and women are receivers. Going out of your way to do things is actually masculine energy. I used bend over backwards for my husband (when we first started dating) and realized it wasn’t really doing me any favors. I’ll give him a massage after work, cook food he likes, wash and put his clothes away. Other than that I don’t do much else, my husband is always the one doing little gestures for me and I looove it!

Happysunshiner · 2021-04-26T20:37:55+00:00

Men don't want to be given things or have things done for them really. They would rather hear that you need and appreciate them.

homefronthoney · 2021-04-26T21:42:46+00:00

I do all of the meal planning and 90% of the cooking (sometimes he likes to cook on his days off). He regularly thanks me and compliments my cooking, or may ask me to make something again because he loves it.

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