How does FDS feel about being a dominatrix?

spiderunderweb · 2021-06-10T09:05:49+00:00

Isn’t dominatrix still catering to the male gaze, men are still getting the benefit from it

Platipus6 · 2021-06-10T09:17:06+00:00

Men top from the bottom. They're the neediest, most demanding, selfish black holes of personal sexual gratification. You won't be whipping them with a riding crop for funzies. You'll be the one obeying instructions or else receiving a tirade and mantrum. And you get to clean the shit off the dildo they demand you peg them with.

Also I'm against giving men what they want so 🤷‍♀️

Connect-Ad-9361 · 2021-06-10T09:08:33+00:00

Do you mean being a dominatrix in the context of sex work or just like, being into dominating men that you date in your personal life?

If the former, pretty much any and all forms of sex work are a no-go in FDS because at the end of the day they all fuel the sex trade and all the harmful shit it perpetuates. And I would assume that it would be just as dangerous as regular sex work.

As far as in your personal life, eh. Personally I think this is one of those things where it really does go both ways. There's often posed the question of "if he loves me, why would he want to hit me, choke me, humiliate me, ect?" When women talk about men into BDSM. And the answer(generally) is that it stems from a fucked up place having to do with power dynamics and fucked up views on relationships. I think the opposite is true as well. When women want to flip the script like that it stems from an idea of getting the upper hand on someone that screwed you over (no pun intended) and getting them back for it. And I don't think some latex and a strapon is going to give you the retribution you're looking for. Funnel that indignation somewhere useful and build your life.

searchingforjupiter · 2021-06-10T09:15:03+00:00

It's still women providing sexual satisfaction to men for payment, doing something they normally probably wouldn't.

fancypantsdance92 · 2021-06-10T09:19:56+00:00

I was asked to be someone's domme. Still felt like if I'd gone through with it I'd be pandering to him.

c_a_t_lady · 2021-06-10T09:16:51+00:00

When I had just discovered FDS, I was wondering about this too. To my understatement, FDS is against BDSM in general. I think they've talked about this in the podcast if I remember correctly.

Pre-FDS I was actually interested in being a dominatrix/mistress. I even considered myself a dom and bought some tools for that and almost started a "mistress-relationship" with one guy who seemed nice. However, I noticed few red flags and we had a different idea of the seriousness of the situationship, and at that point, I had already found FDS so I ended it. He tried to contact me few times after that and even offered money, but I wasn't interested anymore.

But I realized that my attraction towards femdom was related to other things, that I should try to deal with other ways than sexual acts. 😊

I still occasionally feel attraction towards the scene, but I remind myself why it's a bad idea and where my urges actually come from. I think they'll eventually fully disappear, I guess you could say I am in "kink recovery". 😄

radsera99 · 2021-06-10T09:50:37+00:00

It’s weird. The whole concept of bdsm should just be eliminated. That being said I’d rather see men being beaten during sex than women lol

Lady_Godot · 2021-06-10T09:45:13+00:00

A lot of good comments already have been made.

Here is a good older FDS post, too:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jedbtl/i_tried_femdom_and_it_was_nowhere_near_as/

From personal expirience: My first boyfriend (in ym early 20s, before FDS was even created) was into Femdom. While it was eons better than the abuse girls and women with men who are into dominating them have to face, it - or rather he - still asked me to do things I did not want to do. With some of those things I gave in and did them and thinking about in retrospect makes me feel gross. It never made me feel empowered or loved and always felt performative and sometimes, like said, gross.
It also killed what little attraction I may have had for him.

Title	How does FDS feel about being a dominatrix?
Author	ussr_ftw
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	June 10, 2021 8:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nwixox/how_does_fds_feel_about_being_a_dominatrix/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-does-fds-feel-about-being-a-dominatrix.781756 https://theredarchive.com/post/781756

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