Is it possible to discuss relationship problems to get an alternative to TRP-rules?

AIisVolatPropriis · 2021-06-10T16:17:47+00:00

Rule 5 is for The Red Pill trolls that come here to obviously recruit. They'll comment on people's posts with things like, 'You're obviously a beta cuck with some dumb b*tch who is just using you for your money! Take The Red Pill!' Then they'll show their IQ by using 3rd grade spelling while trying to comment on adult manners. Rule 5 is reserved for those that obviously still need to be seated at the kid's table while the adults talk. 😊 Reasonable discussion about relationship issues without name calling and blatant misinformation is okay.

juliuspepperwoodchi · 2021-06-10T16:24:24+00:00

Our relationship is like a textbook-example for TRP and it hurts. I am constantly between hating the TRP-stuff and the question maybe it is true.

That's a TRP recruitment tactic. They aren't wrong about the simple fact that a lot of modern relationships suffer from many of the same issues; but they're massively wrong as to why things are this way and what we should do to fix is.

throwlowesteem · 2021-06-10T16:15:09+00:00

Relationship works based on your own psychology. They are a reflection of what you look for because of your trauma or subconscious ideas formed during childhood. If you are suffering with relationships I would advice to look for therapy. That's the best way to navigate through your life instead of ideologies. It's not based on a common rule for every person. I may be a narcissistic and attract empaths and abuse them, or I may be an empath and attract dismissive people. It's a reflection of your ideas. Probably there are good and beautiful girls who you could have a good love life but probably, and this is hard to swallow, you ignore them or you aren't attracted to them.

Look for CBT therapy, it may be very helpful

xvszero · 2021-06-10T19:32:36+00:00

Lots of women (and men) suck. Me personally, I wouldn't stay in this relationship because it sounds terrible, but I also wouldn't make the massive leap to RED PILL ARE RIGHT ABOUT WOMEN because they're not. Of course SOME women suck, but MANY women do not, and you'll just end up a sad bitter sexist who destroys every chance at a good relationship you might have if you buy into red pill nonsense.

Anyway, now I actually have a great relationship so I also know first hand that red pill are full of shit.

RedPillDetox · 2021-06-10T19:10:37+00:00

It doesn't matter how good you get along with a woman. If there's a deal breaker then there's no point in being in said relationship. You can be 99 percent compatible with someone. But if that one percent incompatibility is bad enough, then it's time to go.

It's all about emotional congruency. You're unhappy and anxious. And there's nothing healthy about a sexless relationship. Prolonging the relationship won't magically solve things. It will only prolong your suffering.

As a matter of fact, no soft way to say it, the girl seems crazy. There's nothing normal about bragging about an extensive sex past, having escort friends, etc. There's nothing normal admiting you'll only love someone if they treat you like shit. Up to which you either comply with her in that sort of thing, or you simply don't bother to waste your time in a roller coaster, shallow relationship with an, excuse my language, dumb bitch.

I know break ups suck, i know you don't want this sort of advice, and i could tell you to be the abusive piece of shit she wants you to be to get sex from this obviously mentally ill woman but sometimes we gotta hear what we don't want to hear.

Good luck, my dude

asshole67throw · 2021-06-10T17:02:22+00:00

Without talking about any “tactics” to use on her, we’re still allowed to offer advice right?

Have you tried to work on your own attractiveness? Mostly physical appearance - get in shape if you havnt not already done so and wear flattering clothes goes a very long way. Aftershave, be well dressed, and be “busy” doing yo own thing.

Basically make her part of your life, not the focus of your life. Still try to make time to do your own stuff that attracted her in the first place.

When it come to relationships, I think the only “advice” from TRP that could be valuable and non abusive, is to simply only put in what she does.

As in no double texting being a big one. If you have to double text because she left you on read without any explanation, you know the end is near.

That’s when it’s dangerous and if you’re in that situation she’s probably wanting to leave anyway. But double texting is a killer; you have to let them leave. Chasing will just chase them off, give her time to miss you.

Of course be a respectful partner in the process, dont play games, don’t give her the silent treatment, don’t make her jealous.

The thing is people don’t want your sympathy and validation all the time. It’s actually quite annoying to have the how are you texts when nothing is going on and both your lives and crap, it’s better to say nothing. That anxiety is fine that’s what maintains attraction.

sweetlike314 · 2021-06-10T17:29:52+00:00

I think advice will depend on what the problems are. Sexual attraction issues can stem from a huge range of issues. Reasons range from childhood trauma, physical changes causing insecurity, concern about a partners perception of their body, external stressors, easily adjusted physical things like amount of hair and everything in between. I think we will need a little more information before non-TRP advice could be provided.

Toomuch_noise · 2021-06-10T17:30:33+00:00

First I feel it is important to state my stance against TRP, the whole movement is a naive opposition against capitalist/liberal/commercial "feminism". While it is true that there is an attack on the masculine it must not be read through the lenses of the war between the sexes (an imaginary war) nor throug the sexual market place (the most bullshit idea I have ever come across) the main premis of how you should work on yourself is valid, and you should work on yourself, the source of this idea is toxic, that of absolute individualism, of being a warrior, of being a lone wolf etc... Humans are paradoxical beings, we are individuals because we are embedded in a web of relationships and we depend on these relationships to be independent individuals, our independence has roots in our codependence. The first conclusion we get from that is that cooperation and not competition is the basis of all human behaviour (which debunks the sexual market value theory which is a capitalist illusion), a corollary of this is that humans can only grow in and through relationships (primary among those are the family and the significant other).

Now to your relationship, while I know nothing about it I can tell you this, talk to each other, state your own mistakes and the mistakes that you think that the other has committed, talk about those, allow you emotions to express themselves (they are as valid as a purely intellectual talk), in the end apologize to each other for what you have found to be a problem that you've both committed and try to work it out. Try to grow together (nobody grows alone). If any of you needs to work on past traumas do so (I've found somatic experiencing to be the best), family therapy is also great (of the palo-alto school). and whatever problem arises, use it as a stepping stone in your co-growth.

The job is hard, you have to walk in a fine line between toxic masculinism and toxic feminism, you have to transcend (not in a spiritual sense) both of them, you have to find the way through which the masculin and the feminin are not opposits but codependent. The job is hard yet doable, and rewarding greatly.

In the end of the day you relationship might not work, but work on it so that at the end you won't hate each other.

Ps. do not use the above argument as a case against capitalism but as a simple critique of a capitalism in a close context, that of human relations, capitalism is in fact a great economic system, but that's it.

Pps. you can read Anthony Wilden's books "Man and Woman, War and Peace" and "the rules are no game" to understand the logic behind the arguments (you can find them online), if you speak french I can give you better sources.

Ppps. It's better to see a qualified good therapist rather to ask strangers online (as I stated above I find the palo alto school to be the best when it comes to relationship issues, transactional analysis is also good, but if you can't find any then whatever good therapist will do)

CapUnostentatious · 2021-06-10T18:01:40+00:00

Thank you, it took me some time to write it down.

Hellion_shark · 2021-06-10T19:31:14+00:00

"TRP-logic says with 36 beginns the alpha-reinterst and she could leave me for a guy, she has real desire for." What? :D hahah dafaq did I just read :D Is it REinterst if you were not interested in the first place? Sometimes trp truly makes me laugh.

We are often socialized that if a man treats us like shit it means he loves us. Shit like that starts in middle school, if not earlier.

There is also this desire in some to turn the beast into a prince. Sometimes people are stuck attracted to shitty individuals because they are trying to fix a past traumatic relationship.

So for that sometimes women like dicks. And men like cunts.

It's not because of some kind of TRP mocku- science almost veterinary bullshit they are trying to pull off.

It's psychology and relational issues from the past.

There is a better solution than TRP - Therapy. Couples therapy if both of you really give a shit.

The girl has issues, probably so do you. It seems to me that regardless of how much she talks with you she isn't honest about what's actually not working for her, sexually. One time she tells you it's not important, the other time she cries for two days because it's important. maybe she feers offending you, maybe she took you as a way to forget her ex and now wants to stay with you but can't figure it out. maybe she has some history of sexual abuse, or maybe she was never thought to figure out what she wants. The reasons are eternal. Something like TRP is... like Ben Shapiro - it speaks nonsense with confidence and hides bullshit under unrelated facts. Just because they act like they know what the yare talking about, it doesn't make it true.

It's like a cult - and the leaders sell you stuff...

If you don't wanna pay for therapy talk directly about how you feel, ask her if she is in love with her ex, and go from there.
Also, you can look up stuff online like Psychology in Seattle - he offers relationship videos without the crazy selfish and sexist things attached to it. Not a replacement for therapy, but a useful starting tool.

Title	Is it possible to discuss relationship problems to get an alternative to TRP-rules?
Author	CapUnostentatious
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	June 10, 2021 3:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/nwr60p/is_it_possible_to_discuss_relationship_problems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-possible-to-discuss-relationship-problems-to.783485 https://theredarchive.com/post/783485

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