Help! How do I make a decision?

waterlily385 · 2021-07-26T17:36:54+00:00

Maybe define what you want out of a relationship(marriage, kids, timeframe to make all that happen, etc) and see if the guys want the same things. That should be a decent filter, then move onto looks, personality, attractiveness. Hopefully that could help you out.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-07-26T18:56:36+00:00

Who do you click with? Whose long-term goals align with yours? Who treats you the best (NOT what they buy you, but how they interact with you)?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10? Who of these guys seems most aligned with that?

The flight tickets is a bit of a flag to me IMO. Same with flowers every day for two whole weeks? It could be love-bombing and/or trying to buy you, so be a bit cautious.

Edit: All you can do is vet carefully for someone who you can rely on, who will take marriage as seriously as you will.

PrincessaRusalka · 2021-07-26T18:59:48+00:00

I know the kind of man I want, and I focus on being his kind of woman.

It's all on your behavior, not him.

Read my guide and weed out the pretenders.

It seems like you are flooded with attention now but it won't be that way forever. Men are very good at coming on strong and leaving you in the dust if they don't get what they want. So you have to figure them out from there without giving out desperate vibes. Sure they're sweet now, but you haven't shown them your true self. Nor should you, you're just dating. So be careful who you enter a relationship with, he should be strong, stable, and responsible.

Even if you told them no sex, they don't care, they will push you. I don't want to burst your bubble but men are goal oriented. We're the goalies. ;-)

orangerose18 · 2021-07-26T19:20:55+00:00

Look past the initial flashy gestures. Look for high value BEHAVIOR not literally high value ($$$). Don’t make a decision to get into a relationship until 3 months of consistent behavior from the guy. Consistency is king.

Does he respect you as a person? Does he respect your life choices? Does he neg (reeks of insecurity) or does he speak honestly and frankly with you? Is he on time to dates? Does he communicate well? What is his dating history like? Are all his exes “crazy”, or does he have self awareness to realize what he has done wrong in the past? Don’t pry him for these, just be a pleasant and casual observer when he talks.

Does he refer to women as “feeeemales” and “bitches” or “chicks” when he refers to men as “men” or “guys”? Do his actions match his behaviors? Does he proactively care about your comfort when you’re together? What happens when you politely say no to something? What happens when you draw a boundary? (Ie, please don’t text me after 10pm, or, please don’t French me in public).

Environmental_Ad5867 · 2021-07-26T18:27:59+00:00

My mother used to say, “when a man wants you, he’ll get you the moon if you ask for it.”

Ultimately none of us can help you decide because we can’t see all the cards on the table. You’d need to know what things are important to you as the very basic baseline ‘entry criteria’. I was in a similar position as you just before I met my SO and I vetted ruthlessly to narrow it down to 6 HVMs (doctor, engineer, pilot basically men with great job prospects). But ultimately, my partner made the decision for me and I’ve never looked back since ie He won me over and that’s what made all the difference for me. I’ve never been with anyone that I’ve been more attracted to physically, mentally, emotionally and committing to him has been the easiest decision I’ve ever made.

What I’m saying is, be wary of choosing based on a list of criteria. Pros and cons list don’t work because we’re human. You can’t ‘logic into a relationship’. Personally I think if you do, you’re at high risk of monkey branching when something goes amiss since you’re less invested in him.

Unfortunately the best way of doing this (for me) was being genuinely interested in getting to know them as people- I know it sounds cliche. But it gave me time to explore their core values, ideas, plans and whether it aligned with mine. I kept my options open by being gracious to all of them but didn’t offer that commitment to anyone until much later when he brought it up (I already decided I chose him by then but if he didn’t step up, I would’ve walked).

Hope that helps give some insight. Enjoy the process and best of luck!

Also: don’t lose yourself and your standards in all this. Don’t be easily seduced by sweet words and promises. Watch his actions and see if they match up with his words. Watch his consistency. It tells you a lot about him as a man

CountTheBees · 2021-07-26T21:25:09+00:00

Go for character and long term compatibility. Look for moments when you intuitively understand something about their characters.

I wrote a post on which standards you should have here The key is to intuitively process likes/dislikes and judgements so you can quickly recognise someone you like vs someone you dislike.

anthonydahuman · 2021-07-26T17:26:36+00:00

some people really are playing in easy mode lol, with that being said, I would see who has the money to make this floating rock experience much more tolerable. once they tick that box see if you can get along/Vibe.. but date with a purpose non of this situationship stuff. you got this!! good luck

tamara090909 · 2021-07-26T17:34:27+00:00

I would first look into the financial security aspect especially regarding their future income and investments. We all know money will make your life more comfortable.

Then try to really look for a genuine connection by asking deeper questions more early on. That way you will see quicker whether you will be compatible in the Long run. Maybe get a feeling of who he surrounds himself with and try to get enough information to make an educated decision. I mean you are in a very unique position there so If i were you I would take my time

mikeegg1 · 2021-07-26T17:59:00+00:00

Male: Write a list of pros and cons for each suitor. Choose the best.

softrevolution_ · 2021-07-26T21:08:34+00:00

Depends on the doctor's specialty and the shifts he takes. Otherwise I'd say take the lawyer.

You didn't exactly tell us anything else about these guys...

Title	Help! How do I make a decision?
Author	camilleballet
Upvotes	0
Comments	22
Date	July 26, 2021 5:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/os3f2q/help_how_do_i_make_a_decision/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/help-how-do-i-make-a-decision.794992 https://theredarchive.com/post/794992

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