I've been cheating, and she found out. LTR of 5 years. Her grandma also passed away the same day.

PragmaticRedTruth · 2016-12-28T17:31:50+00:00

You know exactly what this is.

Do not apologize for what you've done. You did it on purpose, didn't you? Never apologize for something you set out to do.

Yes, reach out and keep it short. "Sorry for your loss. If you need to talk, I'm here."

Then, pack your shit, bro. Time to get a move on.

You feel sympathetic on many levels for different reasons, I understand. But this is no time to act like a bitch. Own what's around you.

flatox · 2016-12-28T15:40:25+00:00

No sex for months, what did she expect? Fuck that, life sucks, everyone has ups and downs sometimes you get double fucked. happens to all of us.

fcb98292 · 2016-12-28T16:42:47+00:00

Very rocky + no sex = Imminent breakup.

If you're RP, then you know what to expect when she returns. So, just skip all that shit. You're going to beat yourself up badly enough. So...

Leave now, get your name off all joint assets, liabilities and debts. For those you cannot liquidate, take more from those you can. You should take half of every joint asset, liability and debt. Negotiate to get out of contracts early by paying your half now in cash, with you sharing half in any penalties for pulling out of the deal(s). Take all of your stuff and half of the stuff you shared. Pay to have a service come in and clean the place.

Then, be gone. Just gone. Of course you will still encounter her and have to answer questions of common friends, etc. Plan now what you will say to all questions. Be gracious in your words, but keep frame. Those answers will define you in the eyes of all who find out about your breakup. Re-read the sidebar. Get strong. Remember that being RP strong is not a license to be an asshole.

Then, take time off from life, have some fun and fuck a few strangers. You need to break the ties, or your heart will command your mouth. Do all of this prior to her returning. Like... NOW.

Oh yeah, and thank God you two have no children.

menial_optimist · 2016-12-28T17:43:45+00:00

Your side girl was salty and exacted revenge. If she knew the number of your gf then you were fucking too close. If you're going to cheat you should cover your bases at least and make sure your side girls don't know the name of, number of or even the appearance of your main girl. Ideally they shouldn't even know you have a main girl.

Within two sentences you already fucked up, living with this LTR for 8 months. You say you can pay the bills no problem, so what was your reason for cohabitation?

Weisbrah22 · 2016-12-28T15:02:45+00:00

Don't deny, I mean she knows you did it and that would only make it worse. Like the other comment, reach out but keep it short, and don't say sorry for cheating, it wasn't an accident and you knew what you were doing, trust me i've been there too.

Then get off the lease and move on, that relationship is done, can't have one without sex, affection or trust.

[deleted] · 2016-12-28T15:42:51+00:00

No sex for months??? The fuck? Don't apologize for cheating but be good to her because of the loss

BestSC86 · 2016-12-28T15:01:21+00:00

You should have talked to your LTR two years ago about you wanting an open relationship and already having a side hoe. The best you can do now is next both chicks.

Your relationship with your gf went to shit (no sex + side chick), her grandma dying is sad but pretty irrelevant to the whole picture. You did well nexting the side chick as she is clearly unstable.

The problem now is finding someone else to put on your apartment's lease. Good luck bro.

Mecha75 · 2016-12-28T15:17:33+00:00

Everyone else is giving you great advice on what to do with this relationship. However for the next one, never ever cohabitate and always own your shit.

ThisIsMyPotPie21 · 2016-12-28T19:42:27+00:00

Full advocate of RP but I have a chip on my shoulder towards cheaters.

Yeah okay if she was cheating too (which if she wasn't giving you sex she probably was) then whatever, but you're a coward if you cheat on someone either way.

Learn from this. Like the top post said, just apologise for the loss and get out of dodge. Just be a man and don't get into an exclusive relationship if you're going to cheat. Cheating is what WOMEN do, don't stoop to their level.

All these people saying 'well if she isn't giving you sex then you have every right to cheat' are full of shit and have no honour. You dump her without a trace and find someone who will fuck you, you don't lead her on. Shame on you.

thor_away92 · 2016-12-28T15:34:05+00:00

Be empathetic to her loss. That's only human.

All the other shit is moot though. And if she somehow tries to twist up your cheating and her grandma into some mega guilt trip well then she can fuck right off.

TeacSubpageIndex · 2016-12-28T16:07:57+00:00

Tell her face to face that the relationship's over. It's over, buddy. Don't try to tiptoe around it. Don't look back. It's obvious you don't care about her anymore, so why bother consoling her over her grandma's death?

rpisnotpua · 2016-12-28T17:10:51+00:00

Every girl has ups and downs. This is a down. Don't change your behavior to try to make it go up again faster. Ride it out.

theWolfeman88 · 2016-12-28T19:29:22+00:00

Seems like the relationship has been over for some time. This culmination of events is your definitive exit.

stephcurrythrowaway · 2016-12-28T19:54:04+00:00

Is cheating advocated in redpill? If she's not giving up sex then why didn't you communicate?

nigborg · 2016-12-28T18:08:32+00:00

You're a pussy. Shoulda broken up with her instead of cheating like a faggot and doing irreparable damage to her psyche. Congrats bro you're part of the problem. My advice: just get out of her life. You're bad news.

[deleted] · 2016-12-28T15:06:32+00:00

deny deny deny?

"IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS MY EVIL TWIN! WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE MEEE?"

i know the relationship is over. and yes i feel horrible. but just not sure what my next move should be.

Well, relationship is over but you can always stay with her and embrace lifetime of suffering. She will never forgive you truly. Once a cheater, always a cheater, it works both ways.

You know, nobody's going to moralize you here. Moralizing is against rules.

Just pack your shit, move on and forget about her.

brinkleybuzz · 2016-12-28T16:47:12+00:00

Dead bedroom for several months ... sure she wasn't cheating on you or was about to? She may be breathing a sigh of relief that you gave her a reason to move on without being the villain.

Be a decent guy and show compassion while she's mourning but make plans to move on. Your relationship is over

RPShitlord · 2016-12-28T17:44:46+00:00

First, fix your mindset. Cheating is a violation of monogamy. You didn't have a monogamous relationship with your GF, therefore no cheating took place.

Don't admit cheating (because you didn't), and don't apologize for being able to get laid. There's no dibs in life. If she's not jumping on it, someone else is.

This relationship was over when you two stopped having sex. The death is irrelevant.

harkrank · 2016-12-28T18:29:32+00:00

You are in the wrong frame of reference. The reality is that your woman was unfaithful to you, you had every right to pursue other women.

I'd say you move out or if the place is dear to you contact her and ask if she wants to move out, but only if she's a somewhat reasonable person and you can expect her to move swiftly.

blackhawks93 · 2016-12-28T18:23:04+00:00

She was in a mono relationship with you and there was no sex. Don't apologize but don't be a dick. Simply say, "You didn't satisfy my needs so I found it elsewhere."

The relationship is dead. Move on. Also FYI never hard next a plate that has leverage over you that you are tired of. I become super beta towards them and they end up leaving haha.

PantsonFire1234 · 2017-01-03T02:04:38+00:00

oh no I cheated

Lol so what, you know how many cunt shit women pull on a daily basis? You are merely following your sexual imperative. It's much worse if a woman cheats, that's like you getting a secret girlfriend while being with the old one. And women cheat all the time. What you are doing is like a woman friendzoning some guy while she's in a relationship with you. Who cares man keep fucking other girls.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T14:58:07+00:00

Ur a true savage my friend

[deleted] · 2017-02-11T05:45:11+00:00

Typical man behavior. What are you concerned about?

Yashugan00 · 2016-12-28T19:00:41+00:00

Ok, no sex or affection = no attraction

You banging girls behind her back = surprise SMV bump and attraction

Move out, don't apologise, don't be surprised if she becomes a plate.

Title	I've been cheating, and she found out. LTR of 5 years. Her grandma also passed away the same day.
Author	notsureidk
Upvotes	17
Comments	49
Date	December 28, 2016 2:37 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5kqi8q/ive_been_cheating_and_she_found_out_ltr_of_5/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ive-been-cheating-and-she-found-out-ltr-of-5-years.79838 https://theredarchive.com/post/79838

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