Redpillers claim that women will spend their youth having sex with attractive men, only to later settle for an unattractive “beta provider”. Can anyone refute this?

RadioSphinx · 2021-08-04T21:37:28+00:00

What proof do they have beyond anecdotes? Because this basically becomes a he-said she-said thing.

AutoModerator · 2021-08-04T22:31:22+00:00

First off, the claim that the entire sex of "women" does this one behavior is quite ridiculous. It fails to see that women are individuals and thus have different goals. What about homosexual women? What about religious women that want to wait until marriage and don't like divorce? What about demisexual women (women that only are attracted to people they first love)?

That being said, I'm in my early 20s. I'm in a stable relationship, but alot of my guy and girl friends tend to be very sexually adventurous. Basically, they have the attitude of, "I'll settle down in my late 20s or 30s, now is my time to try out sex with alot of different people." And there's nothing really wrong with this attitude, it's just different from my own. So yeah, I think TRP tends to hyperfixate on young women's sexual promiscuity but completely ignores male promiscuity.

Fufi44 · 2021-08-05T02:02:37+00:00

Uhhh yeah lmao. Look at the world around you. Do you know if any women who actually did this shit?

No? Didn’t think so.

Literally looking at the world around you will refute at least 75% of the dumb shit they come up with.

urfasarmad · 2021-08-05T08:40:40+00:00

I'm literally 24. I'm still a virgin. By choice. And a lot of my friends haven't had that many sexual partners either so I don't get why the Redpill community generalises things so much. it's fucking ridiculous.

Inareskai · 2021-08-04T21:23:03+00:00

The claim implies that 'all women' do this. So if any woman doesn't do that, it's countered.

I am a woman. I did not do that. Easy.

Neither, for what it's worth, did most of my friends - the majority of my immediate friendship group (7 women) - only one has had more than 2 sexual partners, and we're 27. Of this group, 4 of us are in long term relationships/getting married. So, at what point in time were the meant to go wild and have sex with loads of men and at what point do they settle for providers? Because we've all been in relationships since we were 21/22 and that was most people's first or second partner. So like... When were we, as women who supposedly have this in our 'nature', supposed to have done this?

DissonanceBadger · 2021-08-05T09:18:26+00:00

Well, why would she have kids with an inferior man? Why not settle down with an alpha provider? Because in the red pill world, men only want to fuck around, and you’re either someone who is able to do that (alpha), or someone who can’t (beta), so they think this forces women’s hand. But this is really just them applying their own value system into female choice. The claim speaks more about how red pullers view the world than how women view it.

RedPillDetox · 2021-08-05T08:21:24+00:00

Let's look at this from a purely rational, empiricist point of view:

How many times have YOU SEEN this playing out? I mean, what girls do you personally KNOW that are/were having sex with attractive guys while young?

I don't know about you, but i think that the answer to me and to most people is a round ZERO because none of us have any clue of who's having sex with whom, let alone short lived, ponctual casual sex. That's people private life and they don't disclose that in public.

How many times have YOU SEEN a woman "settling for a beta provider"?

Again, i don't know about you, but i think that most people have no fucking clue who is dating whom unless the relationship is made public through social media or it's people in your close social circle. Most of the time you don't know if the girl "views" this guy as a beta. You don't know the sexual frequency of the couple. You don't know if she respects him as a man or is merely settling for him or whatever.

That's the point.

YOU DON'T KNOW.

WE DON'T KNOW.

NOBODY KNOWS.

Because that's simply the kind of shit that, when you look at it from a purely rational perspective, it's incredibly hard to prove or disprove.

Now, you take a bunch of insecure virgins on the internet with resentment towards women and you come up with an "evolutionary" just so story of AF/BB and add a couple of anedoctes, tv movies and the ocasional media coverage of some random study that said something that even slightly suggests that women have sex with attractive men young and settle for "betas" and you got a whole conspiracy theory, that may look like it makes a lot of sense (like any conspiracy theory), but it's nothing but crumbling trash when you look at it from a rational perspective.

nationearthdotcom · 2021-08-04T21:30:25+00:00

Only with anecdotal evidence, most women lose their virginity young because they’re pressured and coerced by older men.

Relationships tend to not work out or they might use sex as a way to attract someone and then the desire for a relationships isn’t reciprocated which is what I think trp is basically exploiting.

Most girls fall victim to wanting that Disney princess kind of love so when a handsome boy exploits that it’s easy for them to fall for it, then when the boy takes that attention away after getting sex, then the girl is left wanting things to go back to how they were.

Your "beta provider" types are typically the ones who lack the predatory nature to strike when they’re young, and if they do approach a girl and get rejected they internalize that.

So yes, having sociopathic or dark triad traits benefits men when they’re younger, but it is often at the expense of women.

Icelandia2112 · 2021-08-04T22:59:12+00:00

Beta provider? Lol women are out making their own money and providing for themselves.

Snoo52682 · 2021-08-04T21:15:45+00:00

When girls first start having romantic relationships, they don't know how to spot red flags, are more likely to be influenced by superficial factors, surface charm and "love bombing," and fall for fallacies like believing you can "save" a guy. Then as we get older, we learn better, and make more informed choices when it comes to romantic relationships. Also, as you get older, having a life partner becomes more of a priority than having fun this Saturday night, so values around that change, too.

There isn't some evil plan or strategy women are executing. Women can earn their own money and aside from Melania Trump types, generally do not look for someone to provide for them. We want someone who can pay his own bills, though.

Nomandate · 2021-08-05T00:57:57+00:00

Young people fuck a lot, then they settle down. The end.

NELA730 · 2021-08-06T00:35:04+00:00

Any man that has truly had alot of women in their lifetime. (Over 20 bodies) knows that although women have some consistent traits and society has specific trends. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

This is why the red pill theory is a scam because it is an industry now for incel loser men who are bitter towards women and feel like they are building themselves up. No real player, mack, pimp, or even just regular self respecting man would aver adhear to this bullshit.

Western-Minute9312 · 2021-08-05T14:13:21+00:00

Another claim is that all women in their 30s are damage good and they have hit the wall. Like all women in their 30s look the same and act the same😂

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2021-08-05T01:17:30+00:00

The burden of proof is on the person making the claim. And the more unlikely the claim, the more evidence is needed. Without evidence accompanying the claim there is no need to "refute" anything.

Here are a few thoughts to help gauge how likely/unlikely the behavior is. Incentive: what is in it for the average woman? What are the downsides? Women run the risk of rape/murder/pregnancy, so that is a huge downside. Do they get any enjoyment to compensate for the risk? The location of the clitoris implies that most women wouldn't enjoy 'normal' sex. If women enjoyed it as much as men, wouldn't it be safer to use a male sex worker? Yet the number of women paying for sex is only a fraction compared to men. I see no evidence to support the claim. And I don't see how anyone could claim to know this unless they have spy drones watching all the women and "Chads" , lol.

Brilliant_Usual_743 · 2021-08-05T10:31:35+00:00

I think the whole beta/alpha creates even further division where there shouldn't be any. If we are healthy enough as women and have put in the effort to heal and become just better, more insightful human beings, we settle down for men who are assertive because it shows they respect themselves and the people around them, warm, loving, honest, vulnerable and consistent in their efforts with us. Even this is hugely subjective. It greatly depends on each woman's personal values I think. If I prioritize having a family, sleeping around won't be appealing and I would be looking only for men who I'd see have those traits I mentioned earlier. If my ultimate goal is career and I can't see myself ever being a mother, I won't be interested in necessarily choosing a man I intuit would have the traits to be good at handling potential children. If I'm constantly on the run, I won't even have time for a man, so I'll probably take what I can have.

It also depends on the values that our parents instill in us to begin with, which influence our self-esteem. If we grow up in an environment where immediate gratification is discouraged, where boundaries, proper guidance and mutual respect exist, we won't be interested in shallow sex because we the way we've been brought up will make us be extremely careful with the people we let in our lives, let alone in ourselves and we would always prioritize quality over quantity because our identity is so solid that no amount of f-ing around would ever make us feel any happier or more confident in ourselves.

I find evolutionary psychology fascinating, but the way I now look at people is "people, regardless of their gender, will act how they've been modeled" and if they haven't had proper guidance, they will spend a lot of their lives looking for the thing (hooking up, buying the next big, expensive thing etc.) that would eventually make them fulfilled and feel better with themselves, because they never really fully experienced that from within.

Greevjacket · 2021-08-04T23:53:25+00:00

I'd say those that perform this are gold diggers with intention of finding a long term attractive sugar daddy. They're not going to "settle for a beta" when they have all-in-one package. These types of women exists, but they're minority.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-08-05T00:43:32+00:00

Well it's not something I keep up with as far as raw statistics but it's definitely a scenario and dynamic I have seen played out in real life, where a woman will have casual (also enthusiastic and kinky) sex and flings with the kind of guys that she's really attracted to, but then either because she couldn't lock that guy down or she wanted to go with the "safe" option, she settled down with the so-called beta provider, even though he's usually not ugly but doesn't necessarily get the panties wet

There's definitely a lot of coded language that some of them tend to use whenever this Dynamic is at play, which is why I wasn't shocked or flipping out whenever I read the premise for that new sex/life Show on Netflix, a lot more women like that than you would think lol, which is why I always tell guys when it comes to dating focus more on being the kind of guy she wants to fuck as opposed to being the guy she wants to settle down with, because that way you get the potential of the best of both worlds

tiesioginis · 2021-08-05T18:48:33+00:00

Yeah saying that all women do this is kinda crazy, however a lot do this, especially in western countries.

It's usually the 6's and 7's mostly. My idea is that these women just can't get the hot guy to settle for them so they just get left behind.

They usually don't want to settle for lower-tier guy 6/7, but when the 27-28 comes they usually settle for them, but think "they missed something" and still keep being arrogant.

I have seen this countless time in my friend group, but to be frank the problem is with GUYS. Yup, I said it. The guys can't put these girls into their place and they have to deal with all the bullshit.

IF these men became more manly these girls wouldn't act like that.

Also, I have been in a similar situation, so I speak out of experience... If I knew how to deal with these girls at that time I would be better of :)

And many women I date have had at most 2-3 partners (yup even after multiplying by 3 it's not a lot)

2022-01-17T17:36:58+00:00

The simplest answer is that women look for their looksmatch, only that once they lose the attractiveness of their twenties they become uglier and therefore look for partners as ugly as they are.

It's strange to me that they say the next step for a woman past her twenties is to "settle for a beta provider" or similar. What man is going to agree to provide for an ugly woman. This only makes sense if we accept that men in the long run have higher standards about women's physical appearance for a long term relationship.

I say it's odd because the "they'll settle for a beta provider after their twenties" trope coexists in turn with "enjoy your cats". Which is.

Kingofnewyorkcity · 2022-09-12T20:12:07+00:00

No-one can refute this. I have seen this happening with plenty of women in my own eyes. Facts are facts. If you’re too beta to handle come hard reality then kill yourself

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