Years ago I figured out that my mother was a narcissist. It made sense: she’s very egotistical and attention seeking. This is what I thought narcissism was all about.

And I thought for sure my wife was BPD. Until my oldest daughter (who’s also getting sick of her mom’s crap) spoke with a psyche professor at college about her mothers behavior, and said it sounded like “covert NPD” (she doesn’t have the attention seeking traits like my mother)

So I googled the heck out of it, and sure enough, my mother is an overt “grandiose” narcissist and my wife is a covert “vulnerable” narc. I’m just now finding out these subtle things existed.

And it makes sense, like my mother, my wife is very free with criticism for everyone, and has temper issues. This is largely because narcs are so self important that they have little regard for others?

I’m addition my wife is constantly coming up with excuses to not seek any kind of marriage counseling. It makes sense that that a NPD will not think there’s any problem with themselves.

Does this make sense to any of you guys here? And has anyone here specifically had to deal with marriage to a covert NPD?