Question about how getting served works practically.

Queasy_Sale_8800 · 2021-07-06T20:46:11+00:00

She’s playing low & dirty. Get an attorney ASAP.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2021-07-06T20:53:31+00:00

Couple of things:

You should have filed, and with that filing submitted a parenting plan. That and how the serving took place is now water under the bridge. Don’t let that muddle your thinking.

Your next step is to figure out what the temporary parenting plan is. Many states simply implements joint custody if someone filed and doesn’t specify a plan.

If this is the case, you need to start asking for the kids in writing - so that you get at least 50%

If she denies your requests and you can prove it, you can leverage that layer.

Just keep asking for the kids, over and over and document

Don’t use your attorney for petty shit, that’s just a waste of your money that you’ll never see again.

Queasy_Sale_8800 · 2021-07-06T20:44:54+00:00

It was absolutely intentional. Usually the plaintiff tells the attorney the location they want you served.

cschoonmaker · 2021-07-06T20:51:46+00:00

Could be either or. Mine were served by a mutual acquaintance instead of a process server. Since I only know the other person because of my daughters dance school, that’s where she served me, while I was with my daughter. Luckily she was in class at the time and didn’t see it happen.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-07-06T21:57:08+00:00

It's intentional. She could have served you via FedEx or UPS.

sicrm · 2021-07-06T22:09:49+00:00

the bigger issue right now is what kind of lawyer you hire.

anyone that you don’t trust to go to war with is going to cost you short and long-term.

rmorlock · 2021-07-06T23:13:07+00:00

About the restraining order. I don't know about every state but in Washington all diverse filings get a restraining order in them, it is practically automatic. It should restrain both parties.

FUMoney · 2021-07-08T19:09:12+00:00

Disagree with most of the prior responses. Especially about “service by mail,” which is an alternative method of service of process and requires your acknowledgment. If you fail to acknowledge receipt, service is ineffective and the process cannot begin. To avoid such games, the preferred method is in-person service.

Also, the process server absolutely could have determined how and where to serve you. They could have been given several locations where you can be found at a certain time of day, and your work location was on their route.

Or to avoid a scene at your home, the lawyer thought service at work was the better option. I wouldn’t read much into it.

throwawayDquestions · 2021-07-12T22:54:40+00:00

Zero chance it was happenstance. The good news is she just telegraphed how she wants engage you. Screenshot every communication (record phone calls if your state allows it) and NEVER loose your cool.

As a corollary, I recorded my ex screaming at me for 20 minutes “the only reason I want 75/25 is because of money”. The GAL was floored and recommended 50/50 - in GA which is not automatic. Stay calm it’s a marathon.

Title	Question about how getting served works practically.
Author	SpiritualEnema
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	July 6, 2021 8:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/of3le3/question_about_how_getting_served_works/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-about-how-getting-served-works.816569 https://theredarchive.com/post/816569

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