Wavering.. anyone else?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-05-06T23:21:50+00:00

Fear is the greatest obstacle to growth, and manifests as excuses. Fear has suppressed more people than anything ever will. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-05-06T22:37:34+00:00

I had all these questions, it kept me up at night. Talking to a lawyer helped clear the fog. I remember talking to my therapist about the cost, and he asked me if it would get any cheaper if I waited? The man had a point.

HelixFish · 2021-05-06T21:53:27+00:00

Yeah, try for mediation. You’ll get a fair result and spend thousands less.

soph_a_loaf_ · 2021-05-06T21:04:46+00:00

give this a watch

https://youtu.be/th0R2nxva2w

playerknowmore · 2021-05-06T22:25:21+00:00

These are calculations people make before doing things that may get them a divorce. You need to know if your spouse has spoken to an attorney. If they have, and they still seems confident the calculations are probably in their favor.

guy_oregon1 · 2021-05-07T00:59:59+00:00

I understand your concerns. It's sad that finances alone will encourage you to stay.

I'm in the same boat as you though. I'd like to think it'd be amicable. We'd split things evenly. Wouldn't she want her kids father to live comfortably, just like she is? I'd like to think so but I won't know until I know. Good luck pal. I wish you the best.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2021-05-07T13:26:45+00:00

Worst case scenario is that alimony is 1/3rd of the difference between your incomes, paid for 1/2 of the duration of your marriage, unless that marriage was over 15 years long because then you can expect it to last for quite a bit longer. But in most states it is typically substantially less than that.

If your wife is a relatively unreasonable person and you expect a lot of conflict over stuff, a good lawyer will probably cost you less than what you might expect to save over the next few years. The biggest thing that a lawyer will do for you is give you a reality check about what's normal, reasonable and possible. Many of them may also have some sort of financing that makes it reasonable to pay over time.

You'll figure it out with the kid. I found myself in a situation with multiple kids on my own after my wife got tossed in the clinker and then given a no-contact order over domestic violence. I was able to work it out with my job to rearrange my schedule, and some of my kids were responsible enough to be trusted with a passcode lock to let themselves in. All-day daycare for the ones that weren't in school wasn't cheap, but it didn't break the bank for me.

Most states like to award 50/50 custody unless there's a specific compelling reason one parent shouldn't have custody.

Title	Wavering.. anyone else?
Author	tanotsurewhattodo12
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	May 6, 2021 8:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/n6hist/wavering_anyone_else/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wavering-anyone-else.817076 https://theredarchive.com/post/817076

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