Could have been avoided!

WowzerzzWow · 2019-07-17T14:50:52+00:00

No it won't. If you can reconcile, do so. If not, then what happens, happens. You'll be ok and it's going to be shitty for a while, but life will move on. Keep your head up and don't be a defeatist. Best of luck.

ArtisticQuality · 2019-07-17T17:23:44+00:00

A few points:

If it's fixable, there's still time. Filing is not the end, more is still to come

> Our issues are correctable
Only if both sides want to work on it

> my wife is not turning back

If she's made up her mind then this is not about the last fight but about a lot more that she's had a chance to think about and decide the situation is hopeless.

If she thinks the situation is hopeless, she's not going to work on it, then it is not fixable.

You want to do some pondering on where she is at mentally and how things have gotten to this place.

Good luck.

Scooter444 · 2019-07-17T21:45:13+00:00

Sometimes it be like that I went through the same thing. But it’s hard to change others. You can only change yourself

Sad_Dad_0613 · 2019-07-17T23:39:45+00:00

Check out manly marriage revival. You don’t necessarily need the full book but the 10 steps doc they have is super helpful.

Work on yourself, forgive her and be a better man. Either she will want the new you or someone else will.

Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. I’m still separated from my wife since January, I still make mistakes I still say and do stupid things but I’ve found a therapist I go to regularly and am actively learning and implementing new skills. We still have good moments though and do spend a lot of time together, even independent of our kids. It may seem like you’re the only one trying to save the marriage and you’re probably right. If she’s worth it though, keep going and get better every day.

jjonez76 · 2019-07-17T16:57:44+00:00

I’m sort on the other end of the spectrum. I want to file and I’m sure my wife thinks our issues are fixable but it isn’t that easy. Obviously I don’t know your situation but my point is if she’s made the decision already, she may not be open to changing her mind. It may also not be that specific issue that caused it, it could have been the straw that broke the camels back.

ikubyo · 2019-07-18T04:23:55+00:00

No it could not have been avoided! You need to realize your stbxw doesn’t give a fuck. Women are great manipulators by nature. It’s in there DNA. She will act like she wants to be your friend and be nice and sweet. This is 100% to get what she wants. I know it’s hard but you need to man up. You need to be ready to fight every step of the way for your needs and wants. Figure out what YOU want and go after it.

tinkerb3lll · 2019-07-17T20:54:23+00:00

I know, I thought i Was going to grow old with my cheating wife before she started screwing people from a sex app, we totally could of fixed out issues, I was blind and have a lot of regrets, I lost my life partner and best friend before realizing it ..

Title	Could have been avoided!
Author	laughagain3
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	July 17, 2019 2:39 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/cedpn2/could_have_been_avoided/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/could-have-been-avoided.819379 https://theredarchive.com/post/819379

Comments