What do you ladies do when you just don't want sex?

Bakerofpie · 2014-07-08T04:31:15+00:00

I just don't say no. The absolute only exceptions are due to physical illness or something serious like someone dying where he would already know and probably not try to sex me anyway. Emotionally drained, distant, or annoyed? Any of those sound like a reason to have sex more than a reason not to.

2014-07-08T03:59:12+00:00

Never say no. I don't wait until I'm in the mood to do it, I do it until I get in the mood.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-07-08T07:43:47+00:00

Holy moly, all the girls here saying just to do it. I guess this is the female equivalent of "manning up" lol.

I'm a guy and I'd say just let him know how you feel. But make sure to make it up to him and once your drive is optimal then fuck his brains out. Make him appreciate that the fact that he let you be alone and next time it happens he'll know that what'll happens when he does.

2014-07-08T06:38:51+00:00

The only times I ever say no are when I'm too sore from too much sex or when I'm absolutely too sick (which is very rare). Otherwise, it's always a yes, partially because I have a large drive, and primarily because I want him to be satisfied. Don't leave him in the dust.

The reasons you listed are all reasons to definitely have sex rather than to avoid it.

Sex is an emotional release and relaxant almost unlike any other. It will soothe any sore feelings you have towards your SO, especially while you're both climbing the ladder of bliss, even if you don't have an orgasm. It's a fantastic way of just letting go of any ill feelings.

If you absolutely have to say no, offer a BJ (whenever convenient) to make up for it. At least don't leave him sexually hanging. Though you should be giving BJs often anyway. ;)

2014-07-08T05:11:11+00:00

Edit: Hello azul capsule subscribers, how kind of you to drop by. I think we can all agree that it's important to be selfless and considerate in a relationship. For RPW, this means keeping our SO's sexually satisfied. It's not demeaning, belittling, or in any way abusive. The OP asked what we do and everyone here has answered in kind. If you disagree, that's fine. Just be sure to observe the rules and don't comment and/or down vote.

Take care and be well.

:0)

My drive is very low when it comes to initiating/feeling turned on prior to kissing/making out etc. I rarely think about bedroom activities. That said, my SO has a larger appetite than I do, and it's very important to me that he is happy and satisfied. I don't tell him "no," but more importantly, I never feel the need to. When he surprises me with a kiss etc, I relax and let things happen - and you know what? I always end up feeling turned on and enjoy myself. I always feel better afterwards, my headache is gone (if I had one previously), I have more energy, I'm happier, and we get to spend time relaxing quietly together. If sleeping together isn't an option, then there are other ways that I can tend to his needs. It's not a chore, or a punishment - it's about wanting to satisfy the man you love and being selfless. My SO knows that I want to make him happy, and that desire is separate from my own personal carnal desires.

It's about balance and trust. I trust my SO to be balanced and considerate of my personal state, and he trusts me to never turn him away for superficial reasons. He always considers my needs and happiness, and actively makes me a priority in his life - why wouldn't I strive to do the same?

If you expect a man to be faithful and stay in a dedicated relationship, but at the same time deny him access to physical pleasure and release - then you are essentially holding him hostage. Your SO is the one person that you can be sexually intimate with, so to deny him pleasure when he wants it, simply because you don't feel like being intimate is cruel. You may as well tell him "I expect our relationship to be exclusive, and for you to be 100% faithful. In exchange, I'll be intimate with you some of the time, provided I feel wonderful and am totally in the mood." That's a horrible contract. If you don't want to date someone that is "mostly" faithful, then it's unfair for you to expect your SO to be happy with a GF that is "mostly" willing to fulfill his sexual needs.

proprioceptor · 2014-07-08T03:32:47+00:00

Honestly, I usually just submit. I'd rather have him be happy and satisfied. That being said, once in a blue moon I just can't do it. It happens very very infrequently, and he knows that I'm never ever going to deny him for a petty reason, or to be passive aggressive or hurt him in any way.

Most of the time though, it's best to just take care of him.

gabilromariz · 2014-07-08T12:30:34+00:00

If I'm not feeling up to it like I'm tired or grumpy or whatever I just tell him I'd like some extra cuddles before. So we do something fun together to get my mood up to neutral and he knows how turn me on from then onward.

The key for you it seems is getting yourself up to neutral so you guys can take it from there. Try giving each other footrubs, taking a relaxing bath together or just watching some funnies on youtube. Try to loosen up your mood a little in a non-sexual way if "going from 0 to 60" feels like it'll be hard

little_red_ · 2014-07-08T06:07:19+00:00

A lot of people don't ENJOY dieting or working out or going to work or a number of other activities, but still do them because they know the end result is beneficial. Sex with someone you love is FAR more fun than anything else I could think of and what you have to gain from that intimacy is so much more substantial than writing a few reports for that meeting next week or watching the latest episode of Drama Wives. If having sex with your partner is really that big of an issue (not saying that it is with you) then there is a big red flag and things need to be addressed. I understand people have different sex drives, but not being able or willing to have fun with your partner for no reason at all just makes no sense to me.

What do I do when I'm just 'not in the mood'? Like Phantom said, a simple kiss on the neck or the way he drapes his arms around my waist and flashes me that smile is enough to get me skipping to the bedroom.

sierrasecho · 2014-07-08T03:39:06+00:00

You just do. Smile, and get into it. At least this works when I'm not cranky with him. Nothing beats stress like a good fucking ;)

If on those very rare instances it is him I'm annoyed with, I pretend to have a conversation with him in my head, and I usually realize I'm a nut, and there is nothing to be hurt or upset about. Proceed with sexy times.

If there is genuinely something that has upset me, that was not just a small slight, I tell him. He would know anyway. I don't do the passive aggressive "what's wrong?" "Nothing" (you should know) but I will sometimes take a while to gather my thoughts. Again, usually a misunderstanding. I'm blessed with a Captain who always acts in my best interest, sometimes better than I do myself. He has a reason for his actions and sometimes I don't see it until he has explained it to me. That trust means I never feel he is selfish, or worry about him doing something that is going to effect me poorly. Because of that trust, I am very very rarely upset enough to deny sex. I don't actually think I ever have.

Sorry for the bad answer, as all I have to say is have at 'er.

BP troll proof edit: of course there are times I am not feeling well or such that we don't. He doesn't force himself on me. I just genuinely can't think of a situation when I would say no.

Frankenoodle · 2014-07-08T18:13:43+00:00

Sex is such a good way to mend arguments and relieve stress, I don't think that being distant or annoyed is a particularly good reason to say no to it.

That said, I do get emotionally drained. With a baby still in his first year, I often find it difficult on certain days to summon up the energy to do anything properly. In those cases, we created a system of 'mutual admiration'. Basically I'll give him what he needs, and he will reciprocate that by taking a bit of time with the baby (or arranging with his mother or sister to take him) so the next day so I can rest up and actually be at my best for him.

Is there some reason why you're feeling distant or emotionally drained? And if so is there anything you can do to remedy that? Or even something he could help with? Most guys, especially RP guys, want their ladies to feel 'taken care of' and love to find solutions to problems. Honestly a talk with him might help if you're feeling overwhelmed.

Bbyybbbaby · 2014-07-08T05:37:48+00:00

Suck it up princess and get down and dirty.

A lot of the time by the end of it you will be enjoying it.

TempestTcup · 2014-07-08T03:17:21+00:00

Have sex anyway. Once sex has started, you will find that you want it after all. Women are reactive so when sex becomes a thing, we generally tend to get into it.

Title	What do you ladies do when you just don't want sex?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	July 8, 2014 2:58 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2a3zdb/what_do_you_ladies_do_when_you_just_dont_want_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-do-you-ladies-do-when-you-just-dont-want-sex.84686 https://theredarchive.com/post/84686

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