Advice for dressing more feminine even as a "tomboy"?

2015-11-22T07:34:40+00:00

I can help a little! I'm not much of a tomboy but I know this sounds weird but I don't find dresses usually "match my personality" and neither do a lot of really feminine clothes. (I wear skirts, but not flowy 'pretty' skirts. I wear some dresses but usually not).

Weird as it sounds cardigans are a huge help to me. I find them flowy and pretty while also allowing me to wear pants and boots. Also I'm not very fashionably inclined so it makes my outfits look less plain too!

I've never understood layering (and still barely do), but layers totally add appeal to the outfit. I feel much more girl if I wear black skinny jeans, boots, a lacy cami, a cute shirt, and a cami, as opposed to how I feel if I wear just the boots and jeans and a shirt.

Even if it's not a dress, find clothing that accentuates your waist. Always a good idea. I am fond of those cotton maxi skirts, the plain straight ones that are just cotton. There's a ton of ways to wear them (short plain t tucked in, or flowing tank top loose) and they are seriously so comfortable.

For makeup I'm like the opposite of you, I always wore pounds of it before but I quit in June. Visit /r/skincareaddiction or /r/Asianbeauty -- healthy skin will do more for your appearance than makeup will. That being said, also check out /r/makeupaddiction. I would suggest just a tinted moisturizer, touch of blush, mascara, and lightly filling in your eyebrows if they need it. Honestly that's enough to brighten your face without overwhelming you.

Pinterest actually helps me a lot. I search things like "easy fashion" "basic outfit" and things like that and you'll see tons of simple and cute ideas.

For hair I am as clueless as you so hit a sister up when you figure it out d:

femiyogi · 2015-11-22T11:09:52+00:00

If you can't bring yourself to wear dresses and skirts, replace what you usually wear - jeans and t-shirts, in your case - with a more feminine version of it. This can be a matter of texture, colour or other details. (E.g. what works for me is a dress shirt with a cardigan and well fitted pants.)

This might be a solution to your problem, because you can keep on wearing the same kind of clothes, they will be equally covering and won't make you feel too silly. But then again: are there any specific reasons why you're not into dresses, skirts? Sometimes, you have to go beyond your comfort zone. I think that if you'll find the right combination of more girly clothes, you might feel equally good in them

In the end, feminity is more about a certain attitude than clothing, but clothes can certainly help you feel and therefore act more feminine ;-) It goes both ways

Edit: more thoughts

Washiface · 2015-11-22T09:25:16+00:00

I'm not a huge dress person anymore. I wear them when we go on a night out but rarely in the day time nowadays. What I try and avoid is jeans and tshirts. There is a modern uniform of jeans and t shirts and everyone ends up looking the same. Just try making a rule of no jeans, and if you do get jeans, not blue jeans and see what happens. Coco Chanel is my style inspiration and she was the person who got women into more comfy, male style clothes. But she still looks feminine and sexy. Instead of wearing a hoodie wear a wrap or kimono jacket. You get the idea. Parisian style in general is quite tomboyish but looks very feminine.

cats_or_get_out · 2015-11-22T13:10:31+00:00

I've dressed this way for years so I wouldn't bring attention into myself, even positive attention.

I think this is most interesting sentence in your post.

As you deal with that inside stuff--those things that kept you more comfortable as an invisible woman--then you'll start to feel more comfortable with the externals (dresses, makeup, hair).

littlek1ttenprincess · 2015-11-22T14:04:12+00:00

I wear mostly skirts and dresses, but on days that I need something lower maintenence, I have different colored skinny jeans, black, olive, maroon, etc. I have very dark colored denim too. Instead of wearing a t shirt try a blouse. Pull over, button up, any kind. Jut try to stay away from traditional tshirts, shirts with words on them. No tennis shoes or sneakers. Nice flats, or low heels if you're not used to wearing heals, ankle boots,riding boots, there are so many choices! ^{.^} go on pinterst and search in the "woman's fashion" area, it has given me a lot of inspiration!

TempestTcup · 2015-11-22T13:01:29+00:00

I rarely wear dresses or skirts, and I think that any sort of baggy clothing is too casual and frumpy. Just wear form-fitting clothes! My uniform consists of AEO super stretch jeggings, Target long and lean tanks, cute boots (for winter), and some sort of warm form-fitting cardigan or hoodie.

Feminine is more about how you carry yourself and your demeanor than it is wearing frilly frocks.

2015-11-22T13:51:48+00:00

Yes! This is my struggle too haha. I think femininity in appearance is so much about

feeling comfortable and confident in what you wear so that you can put others at ease around you, you're not focused on adjusting your shirt or checking your hair in the mirror or w/e
how you hold yourself - no matter what you are wearing, great posture, gentle movements, classically "ladylike" ways of sitting give you a more feminine presence
good grooming - taking care of skin, hair, eyebrows, and nails just makes you look better and more complete
good fit! Women wear clothes that accentuate their figures. Even masculine clothes are cut differently and you can wear jeans and flannel in a feminine way if the fit is flattering and tighter than a man's would be. Google Audrey Hepburn for the best feminine-tomboy inspiration ;)

A couple smaller notes - wearing color can also help you appear more feminine, as well as wearing delicate accessories, and showing a little skin. You might find it easier to style and wear your hair down if it's somewhat shorter; I had mermaid hair for years and always had it up because it was such a hassle otherwise. Cutting it made it easier to wear down and style it in a more flattering way.

Other shortcuts that work for me include high-waist jeans, sweaters instead of hoodies, v-neck or boat-neck shirts instead of crew-neck, three-quarter-length sleeves, print shorts instead of jean shorts, wearing things tucked in.

rpwhelped · 2015-11-22T14:09:03+00:00

This might not be what you're looking for, but check out Madewell lookbooks from past seasons(upcoming season isn't the same) for some tomboy-inspired feminine looks. Madewell helped me ease in to dressing more femininely, and eventually to wearing dresses/skirts in a casual setting.

You can also upgrade your t-shirts/sweat-shirts to flattering blouses and keep wearing your jeans, just make sure you wear well-fitted jeans. I do think you'd be able to find useful advice on /r/femalefashionadvice, as this question comes up often there.

tradmarriageftw · 2015-11-22T14:18:39+00:00

Ah, yes, I've been through this process. First thing I did was start wearing more feminine accessories in my hair- I'm very active and i work with young children so I still usually wear my hair back, but adding bows, ribbons, cute headbands already makes it look like I've put consideration in my look.

Then, I started wearing more feminine tops with jeans. Floral tops, flowing tops, lacy tops. I tend to really like pale pink, peach, and creamy colors.

Because I ride my bike to work and work with young children I still wear pants or jeans, but I found if you wear skinny jeans you can wear a short skirt or short dress over them and have the benefits of wearing jeans, but still look feminine. Like this. I get a lot of compliments on this look.

Biking to work means I don't have a lot of choices for footwear, but I've found Saltwater Sandals to be comfortable, feminine and they go with everything. I bike to work in tennis shoes and bring a pair of sandals to change into at work. I do not wear heels, I have no idea how to walk in them.

Finally, leggings or stockings (or if its cold, a combination of the two) will help you feel less naked than just wearing a dress in public. I do really miss having pockets though!

PremiumGoose · 2015-11-22T17:50:40+00:00

Girl, I was in your exact same shoes 2 years ago.

Well fitting clothes are the way to go for sure. It'll make a HUGE difference. Toss the sweats, they look frumpy and like you can't be bothered to put any effort into your appearance. Trade in your graphic tees for something solid or patterned. Clothes have holes? They've got to go too. I keep about 2 shirts that have rips and stains for cleaning and moving purposes. Like tank tops? Maybe purchase a tank with some lace around the neckline and bottom.

As for makeup I just wash my face daily and apply mascara. Takes ten seconds to apply and when finding one you like you want one that will wash off easily without making you look like a raccoon. It never needs to be touched up so there is no need to carry a purse. I have sunscreen that is a BB cream as well. It's pretty much put it on and forget about it.

Hair, that I can't really help with. I'm a ponytail or leave it down type of girl. Sometimes I braid it to the side and that works well enough. I can put my hair up with chopsticks too, that was easy to learn. Only last year I bought a straightener to curl my hair. Time consuming at first but like cooking, I got better and faster at it with practice.

OP don't feel like you need to give up your look all at once. It was a slow incorporation for me and when I know I look good I feel good. When I found a shirt that fit well I bought 3 in different colors. Easy way to expand the wardrobe for sure.

scallopkid · 2015-11-22T19:44:53+00:00

What shoes do you wear?

agh_missedit · 2015-11-23T04:25:37+00:00

Most gals in the comments are giving great ideas for wearing non-skirt, non-dresses and they are great!

It doesn't seem like anyone has really talked about skirts/dresses so I wanted to share my two cents. I'm a huge fan of wearing skirts and dresses. I prefer to wear them over pants because they really help boost my inner sense of femininity.

It does take some getting used to. You will be getting attention, especially since your social circle isn't used to seeing you dressed that way. Also, the societal norm these days is that skirts and dresses are for "special" occasions. Very few women wear them as their everyday garb. Be prepared to hear "Wow, you look SO dressed up!" Take it light-heartedly with a smile. You will be the "best dressed" person at most places. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Dressing in a skirt or dress for every day can be tough. There's no "jeans" equivalent of a skirt where it can be easily thrown on and matches everything. The closest I've found is an A-line, pleated skirt. Something like this. Wear it with a blouse or t-shirt, tucked in. Buy it in all sorts of hem lengths, colors and fabrics to modernize the look. Just make sure it sits at your waist, not your hips. If you're very skinny this could be a problem. This skirt gives a classic feminine hourglass shape and pairs easily (thanks to Christian Dior for pioneering this silhouette with "The New Look" after WWII. The 1950's equivalent of "bringing sexy back". Compare this to the 1920's silhouette at the height of women's suffrage movement.)

As for dresses, I'm on the constant lookout for "skater" or "fit and flare" dresses. Like this. Dresses in this style are cut to the waist with a flared dress. Beware the hem length isn't too short or the neck scoop too deep, otherwise it will look a bit too racy. Layer with leggings, a cardigan and a thin belt.

I hope this helps!

birdbiscuit · 2015-11-23T15:44:56+00:00

Check out Prana and Toad and Co for some ideas. Their stuff is geared towards the outdoorsy girl. Simple, comfy, and largely based on jeans!! Some of these looks might give you ideas for a more feminine look. I love their dresses. They are comfortable and look super cute with tights and boots for a nice winter look.

You can still rock the jeans, t-shirts, and chucks and tone down the tomboy aspect. Heck, you can even keep the ponytail if you add the right elements. I would look for t-shirts that are cut for women, the boxy regular ones for men will de-feminize your look. You can add a cute cardigan and a scarf, maybe a cool bracelet. If I were you, I would hit the mall and experiment in dressing rooms with belts, cardigans, sweaters, and t-shirts. Wear your chucks and favorite jeans to pair new items with things you are already comfortable in.

For the ponytail, do you have bangs to shape and soften your face? Do you wear it straight? One thing to try might be braiding damp hair before bed to add some beach wave look to your ponytail. I think that looks super cute. Add a dash of mascara and some lip gloss.

Also...don't ever feel bad about looking 17 when you are 21! When you are 30 you will look back and long for that kind of youthful glow. Work it while you have it!

2015-11-23T18:09:13+00:00

It is winter time here so dresses are out of the question for me. That doesn't mean that I don't dress feminine. I have posted this blog here but I'll post it again.http://www.extrapetite.com/ She has some really girly stuff but also can dress up some jeans. So it isn't necessary to be in a dress. I'd take it slow. Any changes I make if I just do a complete overhaul, never take. So start by wearing flats or wearing more accessories. Also, don't think of dressing feminine as being feminine. I've seen plenty of girls who dress up but have the shittiest attitude and I would never consider them as feminine.

lazysnakes · 2015-11-25T16:29:30+00:00

I think we are similar in shape and style. I have made an effort to wear skirts more. I have a couple of mini skirts, this kind of style which I wear with leggings. That is cute and actually more comfortable than jeans! You can get the stretch jersey ones really cheap and I have a couple of 'fake' leather ones which are also easy to wear. Then a jumper instead of a sweatshirt or hoodie, and ankle boots/pixie boots instead of trainers. Or I have a really comfortable pair of boots kind of like these ones but in grey, which go with everything. They are not ultra feminine, but it is a positive improvement, and really easy to wear :-)

I didn't wear makeup or go to the hairdresser regularly until I really needed to (age 38) so I am pretty clueless but learning. As others have said, makeup can be done in 5-10 mins and really does help the overall look. I also didn't like looking younger than my age, but obviously it is more of a bonus as you get older. So - concealer, tinted moisturiser, mascara, a bit of blusher and lip gloss. That's my minimal make-up now.

Plus - earrings - I found some studs that I am not allergic to, yay, and occasional nail polish, especially on toenails as it doesn't chip nearly so fast, and looks cute at bedtime.

Oh I just remembered another thing I did which may help you. I went and bought a load of those socks with frills round the edges, the really cute girly ones. And I replaced a lot of my boring utilitarian knickers with pink/lacey/cotton ones. It helps set the mood for the day!

Hailey_407 · 2016-04-09T05:05:54+00:00

I'm the same but I got a haircut so I have shorter hair and my hair is super wavy and I feel like I look ugly in alot of clothes so I just stick with my look, but now I'm better so what you should do is slowly change into what you want to be like if you want to wear somthing more girly then start to wear somthing from your tomboy look and somthing a little more girly and just keep advancing fron there trust me nobody would really notice or they would just this you wanted to change your style which is totally ok.

Rougepellet · 2015-11-22T09:56:26+00:00

You don't have to wear really feminine clothes to appear or be feminine as long as you yourself are feminine hygiene enough.

NaugahydeWindpipe · 2015-11-22T10:10:27+00:00

First thing is you swap out the T-shirts and sweat shirts for a spaghetti strap tank top. This way you are still wearing something you are comfortable wearing (shirts) but it is a shirt that should make you look more feminine.

Title	Advice for dressing more feminine even as a "tomboy"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	22
Date	November 22, 2015 6:22 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3tsc3k/advice_for_dressing_more_feminine_even_as_a_tomboy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-for-dressing-more-feminine-even-as-a-tomboy.85785 https://theredarchive.com/post/85785

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