Hello,

I am a 24 year old currently in a 4-5 month relationship with another 24 year old. I've been visiting this sub for about a year actually and I think I'm honestly pretty naturally rpw, but I don't think my boyfriend is used to rpw types (nor is he familiar with redpill, though definitely alpha).

Anyway, this might be a communication issue or it may just be me talking too much, but essentially I feel like my boyfriend treats me/expects me to be some sort of naggy gf, when really I don't feel like I'm being that way at all (maybe I am??? Help??). Actually all of my friends think I'm a pretty chill, easygoing person (in certain ways...I've never been one of the "cool girls" into sports or casual sex or anything), but for some reason he makes me think I'm super uptight and I don't know if I am or maybe he just has the wrong idea?

For example, one night he was trying to meet up for dinner and said we would hammer out the details when we both got off work. After work I gave him a call (he said for me to call when I got off) and he said he had a quick errand but that he would call when he was done and that should be around 6:30. He ended up not calling until 3 hours later, when he told me to come over, and when I did, I found out he had already grabbed dinner. This is not because he's a bad person- he has ADHD and sometimes gets really distracted and I try to be understanding of that. However, I told him that while I don't mind if plans change, it upset me that he forgot to keep me in the loop, that I was sort of waiting for his call, and felt upset that he didn't think to tell me ahead of time that he was getting dinner elsewhere, etc. I could tell he genuinely forgot about our plans and was pretty surprised when I told him about them, so I dropped it.

But after a couple of similar instances (some where he didn't seem as apologetic), I decided to ask for a solution, since he wasn't offering any. Maybe this is where I went wrong? I told him that I would appreciate it if he could try to remember to keep me in the loop/posted on plans, because I'd like to minimize the amount of "wait time" I endure but also because it makes me feel forgotten about and uncared for, even though I know that's not his intent.

So he begrudgingly agreed that that would be a good thing to do, and now, when he actually does remember to keep me in the loop, it's this sort of extra-careful, almost mocking (at least to me, maybe he doesn't mean it) "hey I know I would call you around 8 for you to come over but the waiter is taking a really long time so I probably won't be home until more like 8:05. Is that ok?" and it sounds like he's walking on eggshells around me.

In that particular instance I said "yes of course you don't have to ask me just letting me know is fine" and he gives me this "ugh I thought I was doing what you wanted and now you're criticizing me" so I apologized and dropped it, telling him I very much appreciated him keeping me in the loop.

But have I created a monster? His whole reaction makes me feel incredibly misunderstood. I was never asking him to ask permission everytime he thinks he's going to be 5 minutes late, I was just asking for him to try and let me know if plans were changing/there was a chance I'd be waiting for a long time (like on the order of an hour or more). But now I feel like he sees me as this control freak who can't handle any flexibility in my schedule, and of course there are still times where he forgets. It's not the actual change in plans that upset me, it's him forgetting to tell me and not really noticing that I end up waiting around for him.

So I guess this is the mess I'm in after offering a solution instead of letting him fix it on his own. How do I get out of this? Should I try and re-talk to him about it or is he going to think I'm beating a dead horse?

I mean I feel like there are other instances where he sort of assumes I'm being a crazy gf. In one instance, he forgot about plans to hang out and instead hung out with his friends, and he thought I was upset that he was hanging out with his friends and gave me this huge lecture on how important guys' nights are when really I was just upset that he didn't tell me about it with enough warning, since we initially had plans. And everytime that situation comes up he thinks I'm upset that he's hanging out with his friends and not me when really that's not the issue. I swear if I get one more lecture on the importance of guy time I'm going to crack, because I KNOW. It's not the guy time- it's if we have set plans beforehand and he forgets to tell me that we're now hanging out later than anticipated.

TL;DR: Offered a solution and boyfriend is going to the extreme to humor me- I feel like my boyfriend assumes I'm being a crazy gf before hearing me out. Help?

EDIT: I've been responding but I'm not sure if they are going through since this is a new account