An old friend of mine has turned into a beta orbiter.

I've been asking myself if I've done anything to encourage this. Apart from becoming single and being my normal charming self (heh), no, I don't think so.

We've known each other for ten years, he initially expressed interest when we met but I friendzoned him and we were cool afterwards. We've functioned well as friends ever since. The last three years, he's been abroad so we've barely met, but since he got back a year ago, we started hanging out every now and then (5-6 times per year maybe as we're in different cities).

After I became single a few months ago, he became more "attentive", for example trying to hold hands after dinner once, which I refused. He later asked me by text if he understood right that I'd shown interest in him before. I told him that I had no intention to do so and apologized if that's how it came off. He's still taking more initiatives to meet up than before (met 4 times in 6 months)

I'm definitely not flirting with him. If anything, I'm pretty relaxed around him just because I'm not interested in him, and that probably makes me more charming.

I pretty much avoid any type of physical contact, apart from when greeting and saying goodbye.

I dress modestly, no date outfits.

And no, I'm not asking him any favours or doing things for me - I don't want him orbiting.

This is a great guy and I value our friendship, but I don't want him as a beta orbiter. He might have a crush on me but in my mind, he can never ever leave the friendzone.

Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with this? I'd hate to cut contact, but so far I've pushed back on meeting up with him. Talking about some guy I have a crush on just feels blunt, insensitive and possibly a bit cruel.

UPDATE: Thank you for your advice on being frank. As kindly as I could, I talked to him about some signals I've been getting from him lately and stated that I can offer friendship and nothing else. He says he's got feelings for me and admits to secretly taking lessons and learning more about my interests. Not sure we can stay friends after this, he says he wants to keep in touch but I'll distance myself or it might be difficult for him to move on.