If you got pregnant and your boyfriend/husband wanted you to get an abortion, would you do it?

4Sken · 2016-12-09T12:14:45+00:00

No. I'd leave him.

The real problem with this question, however, is a lack of communication among couples. This shouldn't be up in the air for a committed couple, if they're having sex. You should know if he would want you to get an abortion and if you're in disagreement about that, you're gambling on someone who has different core values, because those relationships usually fail.

Mentathiel · 2016-12-09T21:38:15+00:00

No. That being said, you shouldn't sleep with someone you disagree about this on.

jenthenance · 2016-12-09T16:31:12+00:00

I would not be dating or married to someone who believed abortion was a choice. I am pro-life in the most strict sense.

r3mememember · 2016-12-09T18:05:41+00:00

If you got to the stage where you are in a disagreement about an abortion, it's a failure to properly vet the guy. You need to take some responsibility for that. Furthermore, it's a failure to take proper precautions on BOTH sides - not just his. Both need to take responsibility

Lastly, for argument's sake, let's imagine you accept both these and decide to parent the child alone. You are now among the thousands of single moms out there. Dating is now much more difficult. Your SMV is much lower and the quality of a man you can get is drastically lower. That's an undisputable fact. This fact doesn't care about you being "morally right" in your decision to keep the child, you are now going to have a drastically harder (and potentially lonelier) life. Your kid will have a more difficult time, have less opportunities and chances for success than kids with both parents. Congratulations, you've failed the red pill.

"fuck that terrible guy, dump him and raise the kid on your own. you go girl!" is feminist advice.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T10:28:04+00:00

I think this is one of those fundamental discussions everyone should have with their SO before the fact (in this case, before any pregnancies happen.) I personally would abort at this time, but I know it would be emotionally difficult to do so.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T14:50:55+00:00

No.

rainyweathergirl · 2016-12-09T20:08:33+00:00

I know a girl personally who got pregnant when she was 21 and the father was 18. At first the father was really unhappy about it, and said that if she didn't abort he would leave. They had been together for about a year. They are still together several years later, and the young man in question really loves being a father and he works a job to support his family. It could turn out that this is the case, but then it might not. An abortion is something I couldn't go through with either way.

HappyLollie · 2016-12-10T21:13:11+00:00

I'm pro-choice so it depends on the couple I think and how long they've been together, I don't believe in bringing in a child into a unstable household, either your ready or not and there's no shame in admitting your not and deciding that bringing another life into the world isn't the right thing to do right now.

Me and my SO had to have one early into our relationship, we had only been dating for less than 2 months, I was 19 and had no interest in being a mother at that point but the biggest reason for not keeping it was the fact we haven't been together for long enough to establish whether we'd make it long term, I grew up within a nuclear household with both my mother and father present and that's how I'd like to bring up my own children too, I still believe it was the right decision and so does my SO. Although if it were to happen again we'd both definitely keep, we've been together 4 years and we're in better financial position now.

I would be in a totally different position however if it was my husband saying this however, when your married or in a LTR it's different children are a monument to the commitment you've made to each other unless you've got a ton of kids already and know this one would be a massive strain maybe (but people generally don't have 5 or 6 kids like they did in my grandparents day so this would be a rare occurrence I think) or if the child would be born with an incurable disability those are the only circumstances there would be a valid case for an abortion within a marriage for me personally.

brittnicole10 · 2016-12-11T14:36:37+00:00

What a hot topic!

From reading the comments, it really seems to depend on the woman's stance on abortion. If you are pro-choice, then you may be more willing to listen to him and making your decision accordingly. However, if you are pro-life, abortion is out of the question. You cover your bases, letting him know from the beginning an abortion will never be an option, and he decides if the risk is worth it.

As for myself personally, I would keep the child. Yes, being a single mother isn't ideal, but motherhood is something that is important to me. My mother has a friend that when she was younger, got pregnant and the guy told her to abort it. She did as he said, hoping that they would stay together and have children when they were ready. Now she's 45, never been married, never had any children. The two things she wanted most in life she never got.

I'd rather risk being a single mom, than never having a child. Not very red pill, but many single mothers my age (25) have met good, hardworking men that want to be a father and help raise their child from a previous relationship. I believe you can always find your captain regardless of your situation.

ElfFey · 2016-12-09T09:18:04+00:00

No.

Something I noticed by 25 was that all of my friends who had abortions didn't end up staying with those partners. No offense. But what kind of man aborts his own child?

jenthenance · 2016-12-10T22:42:17+00:00

I know it's kind of late to butt in, but I thought I'd contribute another way to see it besides just political.

This is about being RP, right? Despite my pro-life beliefs, it's not very alpha of him to have sex with you, knowing fully well that pregnancy is always a possibility (and if he doesn't know you can still get pregnant no matter how hard you both try... well maybe he should learn a little more about contraceptives and human reproduction), only to end up getting you pregnant, and then decide to call it quits because it "wasn't what he expected" or "it's too hard" or "it's too inconvenient". Men are made to deal with challenges, right? I understand why a boyfriend wouldn't feel very obligated (although, again, if we're subscribing to the evolutionary biology philosophy, a "real man"'s ultimate goal is to "spread his seed"), but if it's a husband, I just don't see how an RP man could do this and justify it.

Tl;dr: I don't think it's very alpha of the man, but either way, I'm with MsSadie

tylertgbh · 2016-12-11T04:16:34+00:00

Shouldn't this be a discussion with a pre-determined conclusion before the pregnancy happens?

ElfFey · 2016-12-09T09:53:18+00:00

I look at the lake

CaliBlossoms · 2016-12-09T18:54:38+00:00

Yes, because that's what I would do anyway. I've committed to being childfree, and I've accepted the responsibility I have to ensure I enter a relationship only if a man and I are compatible in that way. I will not lead on a man who is undecided or definitely wanted kids and make him think that there's a chance I'll change my mind. If he wants to have children, he should be with someone who also does. My ideal captain is one who does his part to ensure conception does not happen in the first place and agrees that abortion is what's best for both of us should our contraception fail.

lackadaisicalily · 2016-12-09T21:35:12+00:00

It would depend on his reasoning. But probably not.

SuperSlavisWife · 2016-12-11T10:05:29+00:00

Too many variables. If Jon wanted me to have an abortion, he would have a reason. It's his child too and that reason would need to be debated before we decided.

[deleted] · 2016-12-12T17:35:34+00:00

It depends. If it was my boyfriend I would get an abortion as we would not be financially able to care for a child, have time, be living together, etc.

If it was my husband (which wouldn't happen because I would only marry someone who wants children with me) I would probably abort and then divorce him and marry a man who wants to have children with me. Or assuming he had legitimate reasons for wanting the abortion I would listen to what they are and judge whether it's fair (i.e. He lost his job, can't afford to pay rent if one of us doesn't work, etc). Then I would probably get the abortion because he has the best interest of the family at heart.

SpectralCadence · 2016-12-13T22:58:21+00:00

I don't believe in engaging in premarital sex so this problem is mostly non-existent, but even when married, my answer is no - and this would be very clearly detailed in the prenuptial agreement as well. This is a very good question - my best friend's mum got pregnant and her dad made her get an abortion although she was alright with having another child, he only wanted one :(

[deleted] · 2016-12-25T16:30:36+00:00

In a heartbeat. I only get involved with men of similar values and in my current LTR we are absolutely in agreement about this. It wouldn't even be a discussion, just a "Hey, out birth control failed, let's go get this taken care of."

Nyquil-Junkie · 2016-12-10T03:51:14+00:00

Before any crew gets on my boat, I as the captain require all fertile crew members to have IUDs before boarding the ship. All aboard! Next stop the island of Planned parenthood, where the crew will disembark for the required upgrade.

Then we shall have smooth drama free sailing.

(see how easy this is?)

[deleted] · 2016-12-10T04:23:09+00:00

I'd get the abortion and leave him.

Title	If you got pregnant and your boyfriend/husband wanted you to get an abortion, would you do it?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	65
Date	December 9, 2016 9:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5hcu2r/if_you_got_pregnant_and_your_boyfriendhusband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/if-you-got-pregnant-and-your-boyfriendhusband.86710 https://theredarchive.com/post/86710

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