Feelings after first date?

M_riane · 2017-05-13T20:50:53+00:00

Have you known this guy for long? I'd say that if you see a person only one night in your life, even if he is great, it's normal that you don't really care if you see him again. You can't get attached to someone in one night.

Your feelings depend on a lot of things and there is no 'normal' after a first date. Ask ten married couples and you'll get ten different stories about how their feelings developed.

I'd give it another couple of dates and see how you feel then.

nerdforsure · 2017-05-13T14:51:14+00:00

Do you find this guy physically attractive? And not just in a general sense but TO YOU? If so, did he leave an air of mystery around parts of his life, or did he open up too much and leave you with nothing else to learn about? If you've covered values, lifestyle, kids, etc. all already on the first date, it sounds like that lack of mystery might be what's turning you off.

That being said, definitely give him a second (and third) date if you keep feeling compatible. Sometimes it takes more than just one meeting. If however, you're still not feeling it after the third date - I'd cut my losses.

JackGetsIt · 2017-05-13T17:38:11+00:00

Did the first guy not have any other traits besides making your body 'react'? Why did you stop dating him?

You said second guy had 'every aspect' of what you're looking for? Obviously not if he doesn't give you a primal feeling the first guy did.

You simply need to 'vet' more men until you get a nice blend of both traits: what you're looking for in the 'body reaction' department and what you're looking for in the 'values, confidence, family' department.'

It's a tough truth but if you break down and start settling for one or the other and start increasing your partner count you will waste time and lower your chances at finding the blend you deserve. (I'm assuming you're a quality women that does deserve it; i.e. a women that's prepared herself to give back to any relationship she finds and wants to continue to develop herself and have something to offer partners beyond looks and ability to reproduce.)

Never ever feel bad you passed up a good guy 'on paper' and never feel bad that you passed up pure electricity. You are a young chaste women which means you have a lot of value. You need to go more short mid week dates that have quick exit routes and meet people organically in groups.

If you're new to the group and haven't caught this recent video from Lauren Southern I'd highly recommend it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHIftZVfrQ

I hope the mods consider putting it on the side bar as well.

If you're frustrated with the advice to continue to vet, it's very understandable, you live in a highly sexualized culture with lots of voices saying that you should just have a lot of sex with whoever does it for you at that moment.

You certainly should be weary because you have a depreciating asset in your youth, chastity, and fertility and it can be tough to find both dominate men that are also well established financially and match your values, and actually willing to settle. That's why women go so crazy for them. They are naturally rare. Feminism has actually made these men even more rare because more and more high quality men have seen the legal dangers of marriage and families and logically decided to forgo marriage and LTR's in favor of lifelong dating.

Econo_miser · 2017-05-15T16:21:46+00:00

should you at least have some feelings after the first date, or is it normal to have a good time together, laugh, easy talking, and have the feelings not show up before after some time?

That's the whole AF/BB dynamic at play. Alpha men are the ones who will evoke those strong feelings in you, while the guy you can see being best friends with but who doesn't give you those strong initial emotions is your typical beta. That's actually rooted in neurology. You can definitely develop feelings of love over time with that second guy, and chances are you will be much happy in the long run if you take the time to develop that rather than throwing shit out the window for the guy who lights the fire but will burn you out quickly.

Macheako · 2017-05-13T17:34:10+00:00

I didn't truly Love my last girlfriend until WELL within the relationship. Real Love IS the most valuable thing in this life time, so please, sweet thing, if you could tell me where you EVER got the notion it would be....easy? lol

Those words have stuck with me for some time now, and they still ring just as True. Too often women go into dating and relationships believing it SHOULD be like the Disney movies, and I mean, hey, you're not wrong for FEELING that way, Disney movies purposefully over inflate romance, so that's OK...but you are dead wrong for thinking that way lol :P

The problem comes out from, I think, is that girls seem to have two things going on here. 1 - ya'll experience way more intense emotions than we do and 2. ya'll "move" around in the world based on your feelings more than men do. And I'll tell ya right now there is nothing wrong with this, emotions are an incredibly useful "mode of being", it's just that, well, emotions suck for when you're trying to figure out the ACTUAL Truth of the matter lol. And surprisingly, I'm not sure you're aware, but our thoughts and beliefs play a HUUUUUUUUUGE roll in how we feel throughout our lives.

Sorta like if you believe you're a crappy person, you tend to feel like crap, or when you believe you're doing the right thing, you feel all sorts of good inside. What you believe, as a Woman, is almost entirely responsible for directing your internal emotional state.

And so, this is just my 2 cents, but if you expect prince fuckin charming to sweep your ass off your feet when you've done nothing but fuckall in this world so far....you're probably not gonna be too razle-ma-dazzled by the reality of things lol. Sorry for harsh words, sweetheart, but this is something you gotta come to accept about life which is our generally equal "start out in life as a nobody" beginning. And I'm NOT saying this is you, ya turkey :P I'm just saying a LOT of younger girls are forced to believe, because their parents are utterly incapable of HONEST criticism, but they lead them to think they ARE snow white and mother fuckin prince charming which is part bill gates, part jon snow, and part the guys on jersey shore is just gonna sweep you off ya goddamn feet one day for doing....NOTHING!

And this is something you're gonna have to, IF you do, stop believing, beautiful. Good men are hard to come by, and even harder to keep around. Good men, Real Good Men won't waste their time on a woman they think isn't "worthy" of it, which means, they ALL have standards they hold women to, and if you don't mark up to those standards, they likely won't pick you.

Now I'm not saying this boy is perfect, or Good BUT...if he really, truly is a catch in your eyes....then sweetie, please understand, he's got other women that think he's a catch too lol, and he WONT come around often...trust me. But don't let me talk you INTO feeling something for him, I'm just saying all this stuff to give ya some options to think about here. You gotta really ask yourself "How do you DEFINE Love?". If this guy fits the bill...then WHY are you letting him get away lolol. Again, I knew, beyond a shadow of a fucking doubt I truly loved the woman I was with....2.5 years INTO the relationship lolol Stop make believing you get the goddamn castle & moat on the first date ya ding dong!!!!!!!!!! :P

much <3

Title	Feelings after first date?
Author	RedDetergent
Upvotes	7
Comments	24
Date	May 13, 2017 2:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6ay00a/feelings_after_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/feelings-after-first-date.87298 https://theredarchive.com/post/87298

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