My experience with being falsely accused of rape

vanillatootsierolls · 2018-05-28T01:07:02+00:00

I’m so sorry.

I’ve been falsely accused of rape too and it turned my life upside down. It happened to me four years ago but things are better now although I’m still upset about it sometimes. I lost a large group of my friends but the people who counted stuck by me and I made it out alive. I moved away due to it and I think it made me a stronger person. I’m 32 so it happened when I was 28. The girl that this happened with went like this:

We were both in relationships but were flirting with each other. She just moved to my area and wanted out of her relationship and I confided I did too. There was a party and it was late and everyone was sleeping there. She invited me to sleep on her bed in her room with other people in same room. We fooled around that night. We spoke the next night and the night thereafter we got back together and had sex in same place as party only no one was there. The next night she invited me to another party but I was with current girlfriend and since I cheated I hadn’t of come clean with her yet so declined. The next night she called my girl friend to tell her we fooled around. She called me after and said never call her again. She was still seeing her boyfriend at that time too. About six months later I catch a word that people are saying that I raped her and that while at that first party I came into her room in the middle of the night and got on top of her which is a lie. I tried to get her to stop the rumors but it just kept brewing and shit just got worse.

I also lost my virginity to my adopted cousin at 12 but it was super consensual although I was the one pursued vs the latter. Later on we fooled around but I wasn’t into it so she told the family I was gay. How fun right?

Both stories involve a lady who didn’t get what she wanted and retaliated or who felt ashamed and wanted to make me look bad or worse because of it. They responded like children.

I think your cousin felt guilty or regretted her actions and wanted to get out of trouble so she just made stuff up to get you to look worse and take blame off her self. When people are caught in a corner or feel guilty they lie as a defense mechanism. Since the lie built up so large she just kept going with it.

The truth always comes out eventually- it really does, so please believe me that one day she will spill the beans of truth out of guilt. OR, she won’t but instead will do the same thing again to someone else or something similar and people will start to see a pattern of bullshit and discredit her ability to tell the truth. No one can walk away from lies like that without karma coming down on them one day.

Talking about it helps and talk about it as much as you need to. These groups may help or others better.

Some women know women are full of crap sometimes and most of seen another woman pull this sort of stuff to get out of responsibilities. You’ll find someone and don’t give up.

Sorry man

Lupinfujiko · 2018-05-28T04:22:03+00:00

You poor guy.

This is exactly why we need men's rights.

Your situation is the one we are fighting for.

If you want the truth, you were a statistic. All that, "only 2% of all sexual assault trials end in convictions" rhetoric that gets thrown around by feminists has leaked into our legal system.

Of course, "only 2%" means... The patriarchy! Right?

I once asked a feminist about this stat. I suggested that within that 98%, there were maybe some false accusations. That's why, you know, they ended in non convictions. She lost her mind. "False accusations never happen!"

My goodness...

The court wanted to appease a statistic. If they got a plea deal, that would reflect good on the record.

Meanwhile, your life has been severely affected.

When the rights of the individual are trampled in favour of a group, that's when you know an ideology has gone too far. That is modern day feminism.

The worst is that you've been told that you should feel guilty, and need to repent your sins. For the last five years of your life! When you didn't even do anything!

This is what women's rights look like. They will ruin your life to appease a statistic.

Sorry to hear you went through that.

Fortunately, people can live through and grow even through fucking horrible experiences.

Your life isn't over yet. You've learned something, and maybe have a bit of focus. Maybe join the men's rights movement to prevent this from happening to other boys.

That's seriously fucked up right there.

Ninagram · 2018-05-28T00:11:23+00:00

Are you in therapy for these feelings?

2018-05-28T01:11:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s very alarming how people react to these king of allegations... most people are willing to execute, castrate, or even torture a man at the slightest hint of violence against women. The majority of men that end up accused of such things rarely get a fair trial.

I’m glad that you’re free, and trying to get on with your life. Stay strong man!!

2018-05-28T06:24:34+00:00

Stories like this need to get more exposure so it stops happening. People always believe womens claims and men are immediate labeled monsters. I can't even begin to relate to what you have been thru and nobody ever should. Stay strong.

Blutarg · 2018-05-28T02:56:59+00:00

All I can say is I'm so sorry.

scsimodem · 2018-05-29T00:44:17+00:00

You need some face to face venting time, and I know it will be difficult, but it's for the best. The issue is that you don't trust anybody, so it's time to go over confidentiality.

Only four relationships are absolutely protected from subpoena power, meaning not even the government can make them say anything. The first is spousal, but I'm guessing you're not married and even then, it's conditional on your trust in your spouse, as while they can't be compelled the testify, they can choose to.

The other three are professional, but are also legally barred from offering as testimony anything you tell them, and any such testimony is inadmissible as evidence against you. Lawyers charge big bucks for their time and it only relates to legal services, so that's pretty much out. There's also doctors, and while a physical, medical doctor isn't going to be much help here, that's not the only kind of doctor this applies to...

If your health insurance covers it, you might consider therapy. The dude's entire job is to make you feel better, and he's legally barred from telling anybody anything you say to him in confidence unless he legitimately believes you are going to hurt yourself or others.

The last, and only free, option would be to head down to a church of your choice and confide in a licensed minister (for your own peace of mind, pick somebody who doesn't know your family and is unfamiliar with your case). I don't know how religious you are, and yes, said minister will try to pressure you into joining the church, but the minister is bound by a power he believes to be higher than any government to meet your needs and keep your confidence. Even if he personally doubts your innocence, he is commanded by Jesus to treat you with dignity and respect and to love you as Jesus does. Most of the ones I've met would be flattered that you picked them to open up to.

Whichever one you choose, find somebody to open up to. It helps.

perplexedm · 2018-05-28T12:33:21+00:00

What you both did happened because of childhood innocence and ignorance. Grownup cousin felt mentally bad about it once she is old, wanted a closure in which she will be considered victim, older people made you a scapegoat of their own dirty thoughts.

Remove yourself from toxic people, relocated to a new pleasant place, start a new life. That is the only possible solution.

There was an article around here, much of the accusations that women raise at men in their own family did not even happen, those are wrong, erratic memories they created themselves out of their own insecurities and conveniences. It is sad and unfortunate that you got into this terrible situation, but ignorance is a bliss sometimes, learn to forget those events and move own with your own life.

Troubleshooter11 · 2018-05-28T13:01:23+00:00

Holy shit, that's horrible. Where did this happen? In the US?

2018-05-28T16:58:25+00:00

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mwobuddy · 2018-05-28T01:09:27+00:00

Most people would say that sexual abuse when young is exactly why she's acting like this now (crazy, making up relatively more horrible stories, lying, etc).

its funny that if you'd been 16 when she was 10, people would be clearly stating it was sexual abuse, but that people don't want to say it when its 10 and 10 or perhaps even 12 and 10 because "they're so similar in age", as if that reduces the harm done.

Somehow we start watching porn together and we decide to try some things out together.

Lets say you are the one who discovered porn but she didn't. There's really only one way you both ended up watching porn. You encouraged it.

We have several more "encounters" like this throughout the years, most initiated by me but plenty were initiated by her as well.

If she initiated it as a consequence of having been "initiated upon" by you first, then the reason she chooses that behavior is a consequence of the past.

I'm reminded of the Seinfeld joke "there's no such thing as a mutual breakup". No one believes that they both said they wanted to break up at the exact same time. Why? Because we intuitively understand that in 99% of cases, one person or the other initiates an event. Who initiated the very first time for "trying things"? It can't have been 'truly mutual'.

I told them that we both engaged in the behavior willingly, they told me I was in denial and in order to leave I had to accept that I was an abuser.

As both older, male, sexually interested, and "lighted" by heavy porn use early in life, you are likely to have been the initiator, and since 10 year olds can't consent, and since she may have felt pressure to perform for an older boy, you cannot say with certainty that you were not abusing her sexually.

There's no such thing as mutual when it comes to sex acts with a child.

Everyone told me that I was a monster, and eventually, I believed them.

Lets presume it had all been as mutual as you think it was, but you were 16 or even 40... that would be seen wholeheartedly as monstrous and lacking basic humanity. You acted in the ways of a monster, even disregarding the lies and adhering to the belief that it was mutual, because you had sexual relations with a child. The fact that you were 12 instead does reduce your level of monstrosity, but its still there.

Igot2phonez · 2018-05-28T03:50:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	My experience with being falsely accused of rape
Author	williamsquire
Upvotes	141
Comments	35
Date	May 27, 2018 11:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8mljp7/my_experience_with_being_falsely_accused_of_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-experience-with-being-falsely-accused-of-rape.900539 https://theredarchive.com/post/900539

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