I am 23 years old male and I've been groped today by an old man... don't know if this is the right subreddit.

Blarty97 · 2018-04-15T22:13:16+00:00

Well done, you did the right thing by telling him to fuck off. This guy seems pretty bold to act like this in public. I understand if you don't want to take things further but I would be inclined to at least alert the police to what had happened to prevent it happening to others. Take a trusted person with you if you do.

iauiugu · 2018-04-15T22:28:06+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with that

I recommend finding someone to talk to about it, compassionate friend or professional. It is a serious violation no matter how old he is or how much or little he touched you. If it's effected you you owe to to yourself to find peace with it and maybe report it so others may know to avoid this horrible man

erenthia · 2018-04-16T00:46:07+00:00

It's really up to you how you deal with this. I don't recommend going the feminist direction of wallowing in your victimhood, as that's not really going to accomplish much and it certainly won't make you feel any better. But a rational re-evaluation of your level of vulnerability and a sober attitude about that is certainly called for.

I'd recommend you accept the fact that you live in a world where some people are gross and don't respect boundaries and then resolve yourself to how you will deal with them in the future.

You correctly point out that your family would have responded differently if it had been your sister, but the question is, which response is correct? Should they have responded to your situation as if you were female or should they respond to a similar situation with your sister the way they responded to you?

Either way, you have an opportunity now to be prepared for it should it happen again, and it's probably better for your state of mind to focus on that.

perplexedm · 2018-04-16T05:08:20+00:00

Men getting is similar situations are pretty common, they don't expose this to anyone. Personal experience.

ifelsedowhile · 2018-04-16T08:25:54+00:00

A lot of kids had similar experiences of being groped by older men, yet you don't see generalized accusations against gay men like you see about straight men abusing women.

WillMeatLover · 2018-04-16T11:09:30+00:00

Honestly, it can be a real surprise when something like this happens and you simply are not prepared for it. So, try not to hate yourself for not reacting faster or anything. I know that's how I usually feel about that type of thing.

Another thing is that old people are just people. Plenty of them are fucked up. And some of them realize that with death around the corner that they just don't give a fuck anymore.

Yes, with age a lot of people mature, but that's not an absolute rule.

Leinadro · 2018-04-16T16:19:09+00:00

Damn. I'm sorry man.

If he did that in public there is a real chance you weren't his first target.

And while you should feel free to speak up here if you think you need more direct support don't be scared to reach out to a trained counselor for more help.

jp_mra · 2018-04-16T02:47:18+00:00

I'm a straight male. I've had women grope me, men grope me, and even a transsexual grope me (ew). I physically push them away with an open threat of violence, problem solved every time. I've once had to call the police on one gay man. He was very big/strong looking and was following me in his vehicle while I was walking alone at night. I assume he was gay because I saw him walk out of a gay bar as I walked passed it... I ran into a gas station and the manager locked the doors. The back door of the gas station made rattling noises, but it was fortunately also locked. The female manager was terrified, I was chill. The police came, found him hiding on the side of the station, and had a chat with the individual to make him leave, but no arrest. The police repeatedly asked me if I was gay and didn't seem to believe me.

Men can and do experience sexual assault, get no support from society, and no one believes us when it happens. But feminists can't admit to this as it would counter their world view of men=perpetrator, women=victim.

Male_Positive · 2018-04-16T03:15:34+00:00

What happened to you was really bad. If you feel angry, dirty or just bad about it, that's normal. I have been the victim of sexual harassment from older women and sometimes older men from when I was 16 until 25. (Actually, when I was younger too) Where you are wrong is in thinking that this is something that only women have to deal with. It happens to men and boys plenty. The media won't cover that topic. I don't think there is any point in talking to the police. I can't picture them doing anything, because you are an adult and a man. I never told anyone about sexual harassment I suffered. Women do not suffer "daily ... groping". That is silly. As for catcalling: As a young man I was flattered to be whistled at or a woman saying "nice legs". Yes young men are harassed a lot and you won't hear about it in the media. I am sorry it happened to you. Let yourself be upset about it, but life has its nasty moments. Be proud of how you handled it.

2018-04-16T09:33:24+00:00

If this is true, report it to the police otherwise I have no real sympathy for you. If you can't be bothered to care about it, then why should I?

Not doing so risks other people, otherwise I wouldn't care what you personally choose to do. But you do not live in a vacuum. And based on what you claim, that he's talking about how if he were '16 years old', that you look younger than you are, he's a risk to underage boys.

AnotherDAM · 2018-04-16T00:29:28+00:00

To be blunt, I don't actually believe your story - it really feels strongly as if you are attempting to gather some cointel.

Why you might ask? First and foremost because this is not an MRA issue. We advocate for the rights of men; and most of us advocate for the rights of everyone. This group isn't about taking away women's rights or giving men rights that women do not have. It is 100% about making sure everyone enjoys the same rights. At the moment we can document that men are deprived of rights that women enjoy.

What you describe was an assault, the only person making this a gendered issue is you:

So, up until now I've always though about how women had it rough daily dealing with unsolicited groping and catcalling, but I've never really came closer to what they really feel before today.

and

If it happened to my sister it would have been way more impactful on all of us...

Your responsibility is to inform the police. Either there is an elderly predator on the loose, or much more likely there is an elderly man suffering from mental issues who is in need of supervision and help.

Since your narrative doesn't talk about going to the police after being assaulted it strikes me as very likely that you are a troll.

Title	I am 23 years old male and I've been groped today by an old man... don't know if this is the right subreddit.
Author	MoussakaChaos94
Upvotes	65
Comments	53
Date	April 15, 2018 9:54 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8cikoo/i_am_23_years_old_male_and_ive_been_groped_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-am-23-years-old-male-and-ive-been-groped-today.902779 https://theredarchive.com/post/902779

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