When a father takes care of their child it's "babysitting"

rudelyinterrupts · 2015-12-15T14:32:37+00:00

What kind of world do we live in where a father watching their own children is considered babysitting, and not fathering or parenting.

A feminist one. One were a stay at home father is "punking out." (seriously who uses that term) One where stay at home mothers are apparently harder working then the guy on the oil rig or in the mine. Men should still go work and stay at work but women should have all the options they want.

LilyBentley · 2015-12-15T15:05:54+00:00

I /guess/ it's a step up from assuming you'll rape your daughters...

One day a man will be able to be a stay at home dad without the pussification comments.

abusementpark · 2015-12-15T18:03:24+00:00

I've corrected this a few times in conversations with people. More so when my son was a tiny baby and not so much now. But I've had the term thrown at me more than a few times. "Oh, you're going to stay home and babysit tonight?" "It's called parenting. I'm a fucking parent."

Also, I'll add this. A few times, more than I could count, I'd be with my very young son at the grocery store. Someone, usually a woman, would say "Look at you with your child. You're such a good father." I would think to myself: would they say this to my wife? Thats she's such a good mother for being at the grocery store with her kid? No. Because it's commonplace to see women taking care of kids. The bar is set so low for fathers that all I have to do is not be drunk and take my kid to the grocery store to be considered a good father. Infuriating.

UmbrellaCorp1961 · 2015-12-15T18:12:32+00:00

Many people here are brushing this off with 'splitting hair' or 'pick your battle'.

You know what? Women NEVER do that. Remember that stupid #Bossy thing? Women never brush off this shit. Let's stop evading our problems. Men are subtly dissed taking care of their children. This is a fact. Women will praise you for being a SAHD and that very day refuse to invite you to the parent meetings because they weren't "comfortable". Fuck this shit.

Clockw0rk · 2015-12-15T18:52:55+00:00

One of the many reasons I've opted out of being a parent.

As a man, my role as parent would be marginalized by society, potentially included my partner and my child.

deez_nuts_730 · 2015-12-15T16:07:40+00:00

Upon researching the term, "babysitting" uses the term "while the parents are temporarily away" as their primary definition. Thus it is concluded that the father isn't seen as an equal parent, factually speaking.

Captaincastle · 2015-12-15T15:51:41+00:00

I'm confused. Isn't babysitting just the accurate word regardless of gender?

2015-12-15T16:30:55+00:00

I use the term baby-sitting because my wife is the primary care giver and I am usually at work. I work insane hours, so on the occasion, I need to leave early and watch my son for a few hours, I use the term baby-sitting

duhmoment · 2015-12-15T21:52:08+00:00

I work from home and I've raised my two kids since they were babies. I will try to give a little more background for this type of situation. Does the term babysitting oppress me? No. Does it grate on my F'n nerves? Yes. Saying a dad is babysitting implies that the real parent is away. It undermines him as a parent and feels condescending. If you've only heard it once or twice because you're not the primary parent it doesn't seem like a big deal at all. However if you hear it all the time it becomes very aggravating. I suppose society will change slowly as more dads are primary care givers and the term will die off then. Until then I'll just keep correcting people who think I get paid to babysit.

2015-12-16T01:47:39+00:00

"So you need to babysit your kids?"

"No. Nobody "babysits" their own children, parents hire sitters. If you'd like to pay for a sitter then I'll make the time for today's work load and that would be fine, but being a father means my kids are a priority in my life that ranks above all else"

blueoak9 · 2015-12-15T15:57:03+00:00

"The supervisor wanted to clarify that he had the information correctly and ends by saying "So you need to babysit your kids?" "

Male or female supervisor? I ask because a lot of more senior women in the workforce have some Mommy guilt and a man going home for his child's sake just rubs salt in that.

Also, what does the thread think - does this sounds like sexually discriminatory comment the supervisor should have to answer for?

yflmd · 2015-12-15T15:05:01+00:00

As a father, I can say with confidence and authority that when I look after my child, it is considered to be parenting and parenting only.

OP you're talking rubbish I'm afraid. Stop looking to be the victim all the time.

Pedromac · 2015-12-15T20:00:00+00:00

What would it be called if a woman needs to stay home to take care of the kids? I don't see a problem here

Title	When a father takes care of their child it's "babysitting"
Author	deez_nuts_730
Upvotes	110
Comments	55
Date	December 15, 2015 2:13 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3wxvtm/when_a_father_takes_care_of_their_child_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-a-father-takes-care-of-their-child-its.965137 https://theredarchive.com/post/965137

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