I am starting to have new opinions on my sister.

kizzan · 2015-03-18T01:36:18+00:00

I'm not telling you how to treat your sister and family (except that's exactly what I am about to tell you), it's obviously your choice how you deal with this. However, it always irritates me when I see these stories posted here of a man just letting a woman walk all over him in a debate and then posting the story on reddit. I mean have a backbone. When she fired of that completely inappropriate filthy pig remarked I would have shot back with "I don't know how mom raised you to be such an ignorant bigot" and then simply left of my own accord without having to be told to leave.

DavidByron2 · 2015-03-18T01:47:28+00:00

Well your sister is a bigot. Laughing at rape victims, laughing at the idea of civil rights? She's pretty fucked up.

2015-03-18T02:04:14+00:00

This next part left me with a confused look and a strange feeling that I had only felt once in life (it is strange). She said "Male rape is a minority though as rape is female based crime".

This is false.

I said " You know most crimes like rape, murder, and assault are not gender based they happen to everyone".

This is false too. Violence and crime are mostly a male issues.

She then again says that it is a minority and isn't as large and I replied saying that even if it is a minority that it still happens and is not right.

You know she's dead wrong about this. Ask her for a source. Violence against women is the minority.

She started laughing like a madman and coldly replied with " That I cant believe mom raised you and you are this much of a filthy pig". I got this feeling of like having a predator near you like a bear or a coyote. She kept laughing and the said "get out of my room your're a joke". I walked out of the room immediately to my computer and starting typing this.

My sister's the same way. After a while we agreed never to speak again. I can't stand the hatred she harbors and I'm not sure how she can stand feeling so much hatred. I do my best not to think about her since I can't tolerate feeling that way like she can. You might want to do a bit of research though to confront your sister.

I have a post that might make it easier for you.

And another.

2015-03-18T09:14:54+00:00

Your sister employed what's called a suppression or domination techniques in discussion.

Ignore your points.
Ridicule you.
Shame you.

BlackMRA-edtastic · 2015-03-18T03:14:37+00:00

The way your sister treated is inexcusable. If she calls you nasty names then I suggest you respond in kind and remind her she'll be seeing you every damn day so she ought not dare treat you like some random dude on the street. Demand respect and you'll get it because that kind of abusive 'mean girl' social aggression has no business going on between siblings.

On the facts presented you can improve your argument. Don't rely on prison rape. The fact is men's sexual assault in studies like the CDC NISVS 2010 show reveal comparable rates to women. That studies 12 month numbers had 1.3 million men "forced to penetrate" compared to 1.3 million women raped. It's essentially the same crime except men's genitals are on the outside so it's not called rape. That itself is a strong example of sexism.

Male sexual assault being under reported in the media and under researched is yet another strong example of sexism against men. It's sustained by attitudes like your sisters and informed by a brand of feminism that puts more priority on maintaining hegemony over the gender dialogue than it does doing right by men and women. They use the abusive tactics employed by your sister to control others and what people have to do is stand up to them. You did that and I hope you keep doing it. Changing her is something you can do. If this were 5 years ago your resources would be scarce but now I can link you to several more articles on topics like "Forced to Penetrate" which should have been front page news when that study was released.

Read the CDC NISVS, it has enough ammo for many fights. Check out this addendum has some fun tid bits like Lesbians being more likely than Gay or Straight couples to engage on domestic violence. Read studies not the articles. If they have a link check it out. You'll be suprised what they aren't telling you. The cover up has gone on for decades. It is a vast conspiracy. We have to confront that reality head on.

If you get questioned on domestic violence stats show take them to domesticviolenceresearch.org

It aggregates more studies than anyone can contest.

chavelah · 2015-03-18T01:32:31+00:00

I don't envy the future before you or my 16 y.o. son.

I haven't discussed any of this my son, yet. I'm sort of hoping he's gay, for his own sake.

azazelcrowley · 2015-03-18T01:41:17+00:00

Try not to get angry with her. Try to explain to her that its an issue of personal viewpoint and vulnerability, that you care about the way sexism effects men and how it's often overlooked. That you find it hurtful for it to be dismissed in such a way. You could also grab some statistics on the matter. It's not a minority of rapes that happen to males. If she carries on deriding you just take the moral highground consistently and say you're sorry she feels that way and hope one day she grows out of it. If she pulls any man up shit, point out how harmful that is to males AND to females. I had a big falling out with my mom over my DV experience and subsequent advocacy. It's not pleasant. Best you can do is think she's coming at this from a position of ignorance and it's your job to educate. You've just told her the world is round after she's been raised by people and a culture that insist it's flat.

Ultimately you may have to accept that she's too bound up in her prejudicial notions and not willing to come out of them, but it's not a lost cause yet.

MRSPArchiver · 2015-03-18T01:25:56+00:00

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mikesteane · 2015-03-18T01:35:52+00:00

She's not worth arguing with.

Black_caped_man · 2015-03-18T04:43:10+00:00

I actually suggest you going the sort of passive aggressive route and simply ignore her from now on. If she ever asks why you could simply tell her that you are "sparing her from interacting with a filthy pig" and then go about your business. I would like to add that to make this more effective never shy away from interacting with her when it's necessary.

This will either make her feel bad and rethink some things, or save you from interacting with a toxic bigot. Those kind of interactions rarely give you anything but negativity back.

Manwithyourlamps · 2015-03-18T06:01:37+00:00

Pretty funny, she said "well they're a minority so they don't matter" assuming she's against racism, that would be pretty ironic.

2015-03-18T06:06:17+00:00

Important question: What age is she? If she's some 13 year old kid who's just discovered social justice and feels the need to be edgy, just ignore it.

Snowfox2ne1 · 2015-03-18T09:07:29+00:00

I said it before and I will say it again. Stop bringing up more men getting raped than women, you will lose the argument right there. It doesn't matter if it is true or not, society is based on the outside world. Prison is a volatile environment, and cannot be used in the argument of society based crime. If they combined men and women prisons, do you think they would continue to rape men as often? Maintaining power over men is one thing, but sexual gratification is another.

You have to win people over with the more obvious issues, such as the wage gap, how rape statistics are the lowest they have ever been, and how the 1 in 5 statistic is based on bad science. Feminism has a strange hold on rape right now, and engaging any argument to do with it is a losing battle. You have to prove that feminism is not the gospel truth, before they will even listen that there might not be a patriarchy.

2015-03-18T13:55:27+00:00

It's going to be hard to hear this. But you need to outright ignore your sister now. Effectively act like she's dead to you. She will either become more feminist hardened and really, it won't matter anymore. Or she will give her head a shake and realize how crazy she has become. I did the exact same thing to my sister. She eventually came around and by that point, I was prepared to explain why I shut her out.

2015-03-18T21:35:55+00:00

it's simple.

Just avoid her, intentionally stand away from her.

When she asks why, simply tell her the blunt truth. "I can't trust that you take violence against me seriously, so I cannot trust you."

If she tries to deflect or double down, just stand strong on your point.

It makes the issue personal, she is personally mocking the threat of violence against you.

If she continues to do so, well that's her loss and more of a sign of her loss of humanity and compassion for men.

H0ckeyK1ller · 2015-08-13T08:11:18+00:00

I'm sorry if I sound rude but, your sister is very dumb on this topic. She obviously has no idea how many males that have been raped by females. I know most males that we're molested by females, yet I know zero females who have ever been raped or sexually molested. =/

SCROTAL-SACK · 2015-03-18T01:57:26+00:00

ehh, when I expressed my views on these matters (being genuinely for equality.. real equality), my mother called me a chauvinistic pig.

Women are mostly idiots and you really can't rationalise with most of them. They're like idiot children.

And I'm not even talking about all of them. Im genuinely disappointed in not being able to have a rational, adult conversation without them allowing their emotions take over. You really cannot win. Some are ok, but its RARE.

Title	I am starting to have new opinions on my sister.
Author	1337leeleet
Upvotes	16
Comments	25
Date	March 18, 2015 1:25 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2zf4g8/i_am_starting_to_have_new_opinions_on_my_sister/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-am-starting-to-have-new-opinions-on-my-sister.985498 https://theredarchive.com/post/985498

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